Mine: Waking up in bed with a huge cockroach biting my arm.
A THREE INCH FUCKING ROACH IN MY BED! EWW!
I used to live up in the mountains a few years back, well I had ants and leeches in my bed, and was bitten by both, not at the same time tho.
A few nights ago, my lady friend and I were sleeping when I heard chirping. LOUD chirping. I woke up and moved my hand from beneath the pillow and two rats then dashed across my pillow and over my female’s head. Her hair was poofed up because both of the rats used her head as a launching pad in order to get to the window sil. I made noises to scare them off but both of those little f*ckers just stared at me. I made a move to swat them but they scurried off into the shadows of the room. I was instructed by above mentioned lady friend to search and destroy but nothing was found. That experience gave me the willies but I also had a good giggle about it.
Yesterday, I found two dead cockroaches in my cup which serves as a toothbrush holder. They were soggy.
Yuk.
I remember going to the toilet to urinate and seeing a cockroach crawling out of the water and further on up. Not a pleasant sight first thing in the morning.
… and you didn’t try to hit it with your … well … beam of pee … 
… and you didn’t try to hit it with your … well … beam of pee … [/quote] I was in a state of stagefright.
… and you didn’t try to hit it with your … well … beam of pee … [/quote] I was in a state of stagefright.[/quote]
You didn’t try to hide … you know what for the roach … did you … wetten your pants 
OK, you said gross, right?
Boy, no telling how bad this is going to get…many years ago when my (now wife) and I were first going out, she lived on the ground floor of a real old brickkie off of Tunghua St, her work was close by.
We started seeing dark flashes moving along the baseboards from a corner behind the fridge to a crumbling hole at the base of a dividing wall.
Rats.
Big f—ing rats, as the saying goes.
We don’t have 'em where I come from, and I’d never seen one.
So she buys some poison and sprinkles it liberally around and into the destination hole.
Next morning I’m coming out of the shower, at like dawn, and as I step across the threshold, for some reason I pause my foot in midair, and glance down to see one of the little buggers sitting there, calmly looking up at the foot.
I snarled and feinted at it, and it slowly backed down until it was in the hole, but its face still looking out.
I grabbed a broom and poked at it, and it wouldn’t back down. I was dumbfounded, it was almost like it was going to grab the freaking broom out of my hands and have a go at me.
So, you know, that cut it, no more Mr. etc.
So I hit the hardware store and grab a couple of those Ratboards.
First one, put it down along the trail before we go to work in the morning.
I’m the first one home, sure enough, Dead Rat On Board.
I bag it up and throw it in the trash.
Badda bing badda boom.
So I figure we’re good, right?
Wrong.
Couple days, we’re catching glimpses again, same place.
So I put down the board.
Unfortunately, they must have been running video the first time, because now there’s no takers.
So I figure I need to up the ante.
So the next morning, I move the board to a spot closer to the fridge, and I baited it.
With cheese.
I’m serious, I figured, you know, 8 billion cartoons can’t be wrong, yeah??
Sure enough, about 5 pm, my sweetheart is home between day and evening jobs, and she calls, all freaking out, there’s a fresh candidate affixed to the board, and it ain’t dead yet!!!
She’s flipping out, it’s squeaking like crazy, so I tell her to just git and I’ll deal with it when I get back.
Here’s where things get really gross.
Seriously, I suggest you not read on if you’re squeamish.
So I get home, and see the thing on the deal in the place, and it’s just sitting there, I figure it’s shuffled off its little rodential mortal coil and all.
So I nudge the board w/ my toe.
JEEP JEEP JEEP, the thing starts going apeshit (ratshit?), and I realize that it has…
actually…
pulled its arm out of the skin which is still stuck to the board.
So I had to bag it, squealing all the time (the rat was squealing, not me, although I was pretty close by this time).
Fortunately, there was a garbage collection heap not far away, so I did a driveby and tossed him on the pile.
That’s gross.
Okay, I guess I also have a story. My girl-friend, my dad, 2 other local friends and myself were in this japanese BBQ place in Taipei, grilling our lamb-chops and what other unindentifiable things you can think of. Anyway, there was this chinese couple sitting at the table right next to us, also munching happily the night away. When I saw out of the corner of my eye something falling from the ceiling right into the soup of that fine young lady at the table next to us. I looked closer, and there was this giant cockroach taking a bath in her soup and trying to get its swimming license. Of course I don’t have to mention that the lady was screaming her lungs out, crouched together like a hedghog on her bench. After winding and turning a couple of times in this delicious hot soup the roach finally managed to climb out of its tub, ran over the table, to take a desprate jump into the darkness of the floor between our tables. I took a shot in the dark at it, and stepped right on it. I picked up the dead little fellow and offered it to the young lady on a white serviette as a proof for making any claimes to the shop owner. But the lady just shook her head, and the young couple dissappeared out of the restaurant, as fast as the roach fell of the ceiling. Gave us quiet a laugh this evening, but hungry as we were, we stayed to finish our dinner. But I don’t think that I will get my girl-friend back into this place, and I will probably look for some alternatives as well.
Seeing as how this has become a “roach” thread …
I was taken to a small restaurant in Tienmu, with the promise of great things as it was a favorite restaurant of my host from long ago. We sit down, little discussion with the waitress, and she brings the menus. An English menu for me. So, I open the menu and roaches run everywhere. Run across the table, jump on the floor, and make their get-away.
That was surprising to say the least. What was more surprising was the attitude of the waitress/owner when told about it:
“Well, we don’t use that menu often, so they probably live in there.” 
Once I was walking on the university campus in Tainan, near the gym. And the ground was littered with squashed cockroaches, literally dozens of the them.
Obviously some chemicals were used to drive them out of the gym, they were still a bit disoriented when leaving the building and were hunted down and squashed by a gang of school kids right away.
It was a very disturbing sight.
I used to live in an old Japanese style house on Jin-Jiang St. in Taipei. Needless to say, we had rats. Lots of them. My roommate and I started using those sticky boards to catch them, but then when you do have the bastard stuck onto the board, you still have to deal with a pissed-off rat. We eventually resorted to the old-fashioned ‘snap shut’ style mousetrap, and we knew we still had not killed the big daddy of rats in the back un-used kitchen. I would bait it with shreds of beef, or other leftovers, and eventually had to tie a dumpling onto the catch lever, because they would manage to get the food off it without setting off the trap.
On other occasions, they would steal our soap from the bathroom. No kidding. They were after the fat content in the soap. We would find the bars of soap half-lodged in cracks in the floor and walls where they tried to drag it away and through to wherever they were hiding. The bar would have claw and teeth marks all over it. Blew my mind.
If you catch a rat in the most inhumane of traps, the glue trap, when disposing of the rat, take another glue trap and make a sandwich - it’s much easier that way.
We once had a rat in our lab in the basement. We caught it with one of the glue boards. It was still alive when we found it in the morning, so I pulled it off that thing, and set it free, outside in the bushes. Those traps might be inhumane, but at least the rat got away with its life.
We once had a rat in our lab in the basement. We caught it with one of the glue boards. It was still alive when we found it in the morning, so I pulled it off that thing, and set it free, outside in the bushes. Those traps might be inhumane, but at least the rat got away with its life.[/quote]
You let the rat go? Fawk the war on DRUGS(17 pages). Destroy those buggers!
BE-YATCH!
One of my Taiwanese friends told me one of his gross stories.
My friend is an animal lover.
2 years ago, he lived in Keelung.
There were some mice in the place he lived.
His landlord put some glue traps.
One morning, one of the mice got trapped in it.
The landlord found the mouse and finished it of with a kitchen knife.
2 of his roommates heard the squealing mouse.
They saw it and 1 of them fainted.
The other one tried to stop his landlord, but he almost got hit by his fanatic landlord.
The landlord threw the dead mouse in a garbage can.
His hungry dog ate half of that mouse.
His fainted roommate fainted again.
The landlord burst out laughing and couldn’t stop laughing about it.
Half an hour later, my friend found a living mouse in a glue trap.
A cat tried to catch it but got in a glue trap right next to it.
He freed the mouse and then tried to free the cat.
The cat scratched him several times.
The cat wanted to jump on his head.
He ducked and the cat flew 7 stories down.
Luckily, a cat has 9 lives.
She only broke her tail.
Could that be a true story?
We once had a rat in our lab in the basement. We caught it with one of the glue boards. It was still alive when we found it in the morning, so I pulled it off that thing, and set it free, outside in the bushes. Those traps might be inhumane, but at least the rat got away with its life.[/quote]
Rats are the only living things on earth that actually serve no purpose.
They spread disease. they carry fleas that eventually will bite humans and possibly make them sick.
So, catching a rat and setting it free again will just multiply the problem.
The shortest human dead for a rat is … catch it on a sticky board, put into a bag and step on it, quick dead will follow. Amen.
I was sitting in this reaturant and behind the counter there were 3-4 rats roaming free, not afraid of anyone. one was even staring at me as to ask what the f*ck are you looking at … finish your dinner and go … leave us our food …
We once had a rat in our lab in the basement. We caught it with one of the glue boards. It was still alive when we found it in the morning, so I pulled it off that thing, and set it free, outside in the bushes. Those traps might be inhumane, but at least the rat got away with its life.[/quote]
Rats are the only living things on earth that actually serve no purpose.
They spread disease. they carry fleas that eventually will bite humans and possibly make them sick.
So, catching a rat and setting it free again will just multiply the problem.
The shortest human dead for a rat is … catch it on a sticky board, put into a bag and step on it, quick dead will follow. Amen.
I was sitting in this reaturant and behind the counter there were 3-4 rats roaming free, not afraid of anyone. one was even staring at me as to ask what the f*ck are you looking at … finish your dinner and go … leave us our food … [/quote]
Sounds like the entire human race as well.
[quote=“M0NSTER”]
Sounds like the entire human race as well.[/quote]
Well, we are monsters … I’m not holier than thou … I’m not a budhist … I like most animals but … not rats living in the free, spreading disease … even with some humans I have problems liking … 