Ron Swanson Quotes

Have been binge watching Parks and Recreation clips the past few days. I mostly like Ron Swanson sharing his wisdom. Such a gold mine for cool quotes.

“How many drinks of alcohol do you consume a week?”
“That’s it, one drink?”
“One shelf”

What’s your favorite quote, if you have one?

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Oh I can get into this if you recognize part of my screenname.

“You had me at meat tornado.”

“Fishing. For sport only. Fish meat is practically a vegetable.”

“I like fishing. It’s like yoga, except I get to kill something.”

“History started on July 4th, 1776. Everything before that was a mistake.”

And my favorite:

“Wait wait wait. I fear that what you heard was ‘bring me a lot of bacon and eggs.’ What I said was, ‘bring me all the bacon and eggs you have.’ Understand?”

Here’s a story you might like too. Nick Offerman’s favorite drink is Lagavulin 16. Same with one of the producers for the show. When they were getting the set ready for first shooting, the producer realized the Ron Swanson character needed some kind of whisky in his desk, so he grabbed a bottle of Lagavulin from his office and put it in the drawer. During shooting, Offerman opened the drawer and was stunned to find a bottle of Lagavulin. “How’d they know?” They didn’t, obviously, just pure coincidence. So that became a running bit in the show and he and the producer became best friends.


Watched the marriage scene today. Love all the bits about their romance, starting with the pothole fix.

“Please and Thank You!”


Oh, the please and thank you just reminded me of another one.

At JJ’s Diner:

“I’ll have a dozen eggs and a piece of dead animal. Dealer’s choice. Please and thank you.”

If you have a VPN, get Peacock for like 5 bucks a month and stream the whole series in order. Clips are good, but they really don’t do the show justice. Granted, it’s one of my favorite shows and I’ve seen the whole series at least 3 times, and some episodes probably closer to 15 or 20.


It’s OK, I love to go randomly through clips on Youtube. Definitely one of my favorite TV shows too. Apart from Ron, I love April too, creeeeepy… :slight_smile:

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Andy too. Check out the episode Johnny Karate’s Super Awesome Adventure Show, if that’s what it’s called. It’s got a crazy long title so I can’t remember it exactly but it’s great.