I’ve run into this dilemma where I’ve met this girl in Taiwan which I like her personality a lot. The only problem is I feel like I could do better, which is why I kept things casual and didn’t get into a relationship with her. However, she broke up with me recently after seeing each other for 5 months, because I am leaving back home (US) and I was unwilling to do an exclusive relationship with her.
Ever since she broke things off, I’ve been honestly very depressed and I miss her a lot. I was thinking of asking her if she would like to try a relationship which I would honestly be down for but I feel that her coming to the US with me would complicate things a lot if things didn’t work out for whatever reason.
Part of me really wants to settle down with her after getting to know her for 5 months and really enjoying our interactions. However there’s another side of me that yearns for more. It wants to see if it can land an even better girl, hotter, and a great personality.
I’ve come to realize this is a dumb boy fantasy I never got over. I just like the idea of constantly improving, building my business up, myself and enjoying the perks of that which is for the first time being able to attract beautiful women I never had a chance with when I was younger. I feel like I’ve finally gotten to this point where it can happen.
Yet I am also perplexed because I don’t know if this dumb boy fantasy of attracting beautiful women is even the right mentality, and if it is in fact, just a “fantasy”. I feel like with that mentality I may never settle down with a girl which is what I want to do. I deeply want a deep relationship with a woman I really think is beautiful and has an amazing personality (as most guys do) but usually you only get one or the other.
I don’t know what to do in this situation because I really miss this girl, but I also feel like I am some-what settling a little bit if I get in a relationship with her. No other girl I’ve dated in the past couple of years has had a personality like hers which is why I miss her a lot.
I’m just curious as to what the community’s perspective is on this. Is it dumb of me to just settle with this girl and see where it leads, leaving out the potential other women I could be dating?
I think it sounds like you’re not ready for a serious relationship. Also you will not want bring a girlfriend of only five months aboard. Perhaps stay here a bit longer and speak openly to her.
Based on the way you talk about her, it would be selfish of you to lead her on. Your feelings will not change and you’d always be looking for the perfect one. You miss her because you haven’t found a new girl. Do both of you a favour and move on.
so a few things to ask and also for you to ask yourself…
how old are you? getting well into your 30s? do you feel like you got your rocks off with enough chicks in your younger years, or do you still have some wild oats left to sow? are you getting tired of meeting and dating chicks and letting some nice ones “get away?” do you eventually want to have kids?
Yea I am getting to late 20’s. I feel like I did not get my rocks off with enough chicks in my younger years. I feel like that is only recently started to happen. At the same time I am tired of the dating market and modern dating and would not mind settling with a high quality woman. And yes I do want kids eventually, but probably not in the next 10 years.
Part of me just wants to say “fuck it” and dump out that dumb boy fantasy I mentioned. Though that is the issue, it feels very ingrained in my head and I have no real solutions on how to get rid of it. To be honest I felt very happy when I was with her.
at my age seeing people in their late 20s cry over their missed youth is very amusing… you are probably closer in age to my kids than to me…
Anyway, go home, you will find another girl when the time comes. you are now emotionally overloaded with moving home, leavjng her, thinking about yourself…
go home and all will be fine.
Actually I have, but the other women I’ve dated were nowhere near the same. The better looking ones tend to be devoid of personality and are very self-centered from personal experience. Dating these other chicks actually just made me miss her more.
That’s not exactly romantic. But hey, you’re young, late 20s? If you go back to the US, then what? If you ask her to come with you, then what? Is she just going to up and leave Taiwan?
I’d say you may not want the relationship to end, but you don’t know what the next step is. Or if she’s even interested.
Am I getting that wrong? You want to to go back to the States? Why? Work or done with Taiwan? Yeah, sorry, too many possibilities.
She ended it.
What makes you think anything would work in the future?
And five months? Even if you were in Taiwan, I’d say, move on, but you are in the US.
You don’t know her. If you had never had sex with her, would you feel the same way?
If you had around 2 years under your belt, you would (or should) know how she really was.
And one should not settle down with someone when you are still on the lookout for others.
