Stalker Ex-BF

That is a possibility but would only really be likely if he was driving a car or switching scooters with friends. Or stealing them although scooter thefts have dropped dramatically over the time I’ve been living here. Some of the CCTV can be accessed by remote apps so there’s also that possibility. The guy sounds like a douche no matter which way you look at it. Then again douchebaggery behaviour towards foreigners (especially when they date or marry a Taiwanese woman or even worse mix their blood and produce offspring) seems to be considered fair game these days.

I have never experienced douchbagerry for blood mixing. In fact they seem happy I married a local.
However, if you are young and going to night clubs you will of course get some issues, as would any foreigner dating local girls in almost any part of the world. I have had my share of violence here but never due to being married to a local or “mixing blood”.

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@radiojams
Having personal experiences on the receiving side here’s what both of you should do:

  1. She needs to make it unmistakably clear to him, that she no longer wants contact. Have witnesses!

  2. Keep a diary of EVERY situation, private or at work, where he calls, shows up, Messages, sends an SMS, comments on her social media, etc. Keep the Messages, put a timestamp on them and collect them! Also include incidents, where he tries to contact any of you via others like common friends.

  3. Do not hesitate to call the police on his ass if he gets too close for comfort. Write the date, time and if possible names of the officers involved into your diary

  4. Get an restraining order ASAP. The diary, collectedmessages and police records will help your cause.

  5. Never ever under any circumstances agree to meet for “a last talk”! Statistically it’s the occasion when most stalking victims get murdered. Also for this kind of people,there is no last time.

This guy has psychological problems and is sick. He will not be open to logic and common sense. In his world everything he does makes perfect sense and any reaction of her will be (mis-) interpreted as affection and a sign, that she’s in fact still into him, by him.
He needs help and deserves pity BUT NOT BY YOU OR YOUR GIRLFRIEND! That’s a job for his family and his doctors.

Do NOT underestimate the situation!

I wish you all the best of luck and all the god’s blessings!

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I have zero experience in this kind of thing but the above appear to be solid advice.

Most of my partners family have been supportive. Only 2 of them have ever been an issue. And only 1 of them ever tried to cause problems for me. I’ve had the occasional local try every now and then but they never last long and it’s usually pretty embarrassing for them.

I think there’s a lot of good advice here so I would like to thank everyone for taking the time helping a stranger with such issues.

Writing this out really helped take a lot of pressure off my mind, and reading these replies has helped me form a plan of action. Mods you can feel free to close the thread if you wish.

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We certainly should respect your privacy, but I’m sure many of us would be interested in further developments or hopefully closure.

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We’re gonna need closure. :wink:

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I’m prone to doing that myself. But with a myriad of ways to hack into phones, esp. with apps, downloads, messages, old apps, forgotten patches, backdoor installs, etc…

Just hard rebooting and installing the apps and then tweaking the privacy settings (as Keoni suggested) would be my go to way to fix things, if I was sure that the ex was tracking via a phone-based locationing service of some type.

It would also save having to do the job twice of tweaking settings, if it turned out that the phone had indeed been hacked. But not my phone, so whatever works for you guys.

I mean… there are other ways to track someone without an app. If you have someones phone number, a bit of know how/cash theres nothing someone can do to stop being tracked by someone motivated. SS7 is real.
That would be extreme. I would say you need to “At Least” check any and all password he might know. Especially browser log ins and all emails. Check no forwarding rules are in place. Make sure no phone numbers that aren’t yours aren’t in password recovery too.
Check Line/Whatsapp/Wechat logins and make sure there aren’t any devices that aren’t yours.

Might seem excessive, but it’s an extreme situation and should be the first thing to do.

As a whole though… I’d go talk to his parents and yours. I’ve seen parents here sabotage relationships on behalf of their kids because they prefer the ex even though their child called it quits. Good luck mate.

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If he is following her through her cell phone then he is easy to flush out :zipper_mouth_face:

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Take her phone, go somewhere, see if he shows up?

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I think the chances of him being an ex NSA secret agent tracking her through her cell are quite slim.
on the other hand, tracking a person when you know where they live, where they work and when they do things is not that difficult…

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Except that her work does not seem to be in a consistent location. Is she a model or something?