Stalker Ex-BF

To keep things short I started dating a local Taiwanese girl I met last year. She is a nice girl and things are going well. I met family and everything seems pretty perfect.

Now there was an ex-bf she had who she broke up a year before me. Now when I met her dad she mentioned this guy, it was the first I had heard of him. Her ba said the weeks after they broke up he would see this guy creeping around their house trying to follow his daughter and run into her “accidently”. I couldn’t catch everything as my mandarin is still not completely fluent but this sent some alarm bells ringing in my head.

Later that week after we met her mom and dad we were leaving a resturant when this guy was staring at us outside as we left, I instantly clocked who it was from her moms descriptions. My gf went up to her Ex and asked him what the hell he’s doing here (we were in a pretty random part of town about an hour away from his house). His excuse? He was just waiting for friends and happened to see her “depressed” with me so went to investigate and “cheer her up”.

After this my girlfriend started being bombarded daily by texts saying he misses her, how I’m a foreigner just here to “play” with her and do not love her. Also more strongly worded and insulting texts telling her not to “fuck” with him or his feelings, as he can’t accept her with another guy.

This has been constant for the last few weeks, even phonecalls from random numbers despite her blocking him. I myself have had random accounts online adding me and trying to catfish me. I have told my gf how serious this situation is, and urged her to tell her family which she has. I accompany her to work where I can and back home these days to make sure she’s safe, her family are taking simiar steps.

Yet it continues, recently while I was busy this guy followed her to work in a random location (I won’t specify but her work is not in a static location. This is despite her scrubbing her social media and only her coworkers and her herself knowing where she was working that certain day). This obviously freaked her out and her coworker distracted this guy while she got a taxi and drove away.

So I am here to ask for help, if anyone has experience with similar issues or knowledge on how Taiwanese laws work with stalking here. I don’t want to drag my girlfriend through even more stress of the legal system here, but I feel we are constantly looking over our shoulders due to this guy.

Zoikes!

I would definitely bring this to law enforcement if your GF and her family are willing to do that. She should get some kind of restraining order. You can at least file a police report. I’m not a lawyer so don’t want to give any misleading legal advice, but this definitely sounds serious and creepy.

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Is that all that her parents have said?

Someone is letting him in on where you’re going to be. I’ll assume it’s ma and ba or the gal herself through the gossip grapevine until proven otherwise. As for protecting her getting home and all that. You’ll drive yourself batty if you try and overprotect her. That’s really on her. She could forcefully tell him to fuck off. If I were you, I’d allow the family to take any legal action. But she really should start with a big fuck off…and possibly a phone call to HIS ma and ba telling them what creepy shit he’s been up to.

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That’s a bit of an assumption. But if he isn’t doing that he is following her from her work or home place. Which is pretty nasty and really crossing the line. Surely police should be involved at this point.

What has she said to this guy? has she just tried to ignore him or actually made it clear he is out of the picture and needs to clear off or police will be involved?

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I know; hence my statement:

Stop the gossip and maybe he’ll stop finding out where she’s off to. :idunno:

Or have your foreigner friends follow him and say hi, calling him by his Taiwwanese name. A-Huang, li ho bo?

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Has he been tracing his ex-gf’s gps via some spy app on her phone? Suggest you guys do a hard reboot of her phone, and reinstall apps one by one so she can vet them all.

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Low key call the police next time you see him. Restraining orders exist in Taiwan. Hopefully your girlfriend is on board with the idea and won’t make excuses for him.

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That’s a bit overkill. Kind of like killing a fly with a shotgun because you thought it was a tiger.

Hard resets should be a last resort. First make sure that she checks ALL of her privacy settings on ALL apps that may use location information. ESPECIALLY Google Maps. Do this for ALL of her Google accounts she has set up on her phone. If there are any unknown Google accounts set up on her phone, delete the account. If she can’t delete the account, tell her to buy a new phone (if she uses an Android phone).

For Google Maps, make sure she disables the history so she can prevent him from guessing patterns in her movement.

Run a virus scan software to check if there are any malicious apps. If there are any apps she doesn’t really use, remove them ESPECIALLY if the app was recommended by her ex in the past.

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This is so cringe, and yet I can almost picture this loser in my head. This is a textbook example of that passive-aggressive shit some guys couch in “cute” language here. (eg: “Oh, she is so bored without me.” “Aren’t you glad I stopped by to cheer you up?” “I don’t think your friends treat you right… maybe you should see them less?”, etc).

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She should change all her passwords to social/emails/things of importance.

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Sadly this is a very serious situation that happens not just in Taiwan

Often one person can not accept losing someone and tragedy has occurred

I hope that will not be the case for you

But the danger is real

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Good advice, but to be far rebooting isnt a pain or complicated. Especially giving the potential risk this guy is crazy and dangerous. Clearly crazy, unknown if he will wear her skin as a mask yet…but still. Police, obviously, should be called discretely so they confront him peeping and that could give you a report which will help a great deal with restraining orders and.courts etc.

She has to want to. If she protects him, leave her. in the end its not worth getting busted up, killed or jailed over.

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Agree here. If she doesn’t want to it’s a potential red flag that she might be playing you or keeping the other guy on the back burner even if he is crazy.

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Yes, that’s true, but hard resetting does not address the issue permanently because the privacy setting on the accounts will not have been addressed. It is only a temporary measure and she would also lose all important data that is not backed up.

That’s why it is important for her to address the privacy settings in all of her accounts and apps first before even thinking about hard resetting.

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Yeah take her to a police station and ask her to report the guy. Some senior police officer will probably ring him from her phone to have a talk to him. Then he knows the police know what he’s doing. The police will also most likely go to the exBF’s parents house to have a chat. So no legal system problems at all. His parents will probably kick the shit out of him. The fact that he’s already admitted a whole bunch of stuff in the text messages sort of puts him over a barrel.

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As for how he’s finding her there could be a multitude of reasons. GPS trackers are pretty cheap and can track in real time. Most likely he’ll just be watching her social media and maybe using “find my” and check-in to follow her. Although putting a tracking app on a phone these days is as simple as sending a text message.

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Or even the guy could just be old school following her from her home. I agree with your idea because knowing parents once the cops call and they lose face, it will be the last the ex hears from creeper once the parents mop the floor with him.

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OP, you should have a conversation with your GF’s ex-BF. Ask him if, when he first started dating your GF, he had to protect her from an ex-ex-BF.