Stay or go

Taiwan Living in Taiwan
1

I came to Taiwan (again) to learn more Chinese and to explore. I only planned to be here 3 months, and then only 6, but as it goes I’ve been here a year and a half now.

I’m really frustrated with how I seem to have achieved nothing while here. After I stopped taking classes the only part of my Chinese that has improved is listening, since I can never find the motivation to do any self study. Partly due to money and partly due to lethargy I’ve hardly taken any trips at all. I only just got the ability to obtain a vehicle license a couple of months ago.

Before coming here I was a year and a half out of uni, depressed and doing nothing, drinking multiple times a week. At least I’m doing something now, but I’m still drinking every night I don’t have to get up for work, and some that I do. I don’t do anything so very little social activity. I often come up with new things I want to try and something always goes wrong and I don’t end up doing it.

So anyway last week something dawned on me. And I’ve felt depressed. I don’t want to work here anymore. It’s tiring and stressful. At least the kids are nice (the one thing I like about it). I’m not suited to it though. The other week one of the teachers had a go at me in front of the class because she thought I was doing a bad job.
Actually tbh I’ve taken the past few days off saying I’m sick because I just don’t want to go.

Then I’ve been thinking it’s a crying shame I haven’t done any travelling or exploring while here. I should just keep it up, at least for a few more months so I can do some. But then again I start thinking oh it’s too hard. Riding a scooter is dangerous.

2

It’s good you’re expressing these things at least to people and not keeping them bottled up.
One thing to be aware of is when you/I/anyone get to the stage of NOT wanting to go to an office/classroom, etc. for work, then it’s a fairly big sign to at least take a break and regroup, or, as you are doing here, conduct some self-reflection and see what the next step might be.
It could be that you continue teaching, or that you take a perhaps much-needed break, or that you actually leave. That’s your ultimate decision.
Last thing: The typical dividing line to stay/leave in Taiwan is about 18-24 months, which you are at. Those who leave have their reasons, and those that remain typically have found a certain niche in Taiwan and go on (like me) staying a very long time.
Good luck. You are NOT the 1st person to experience this.

3

Most of us old-timers started like that and before you know it it’s been 30 years.

4

First, stop drinking.

Next, you need to sit down and think about what you really want to do with your life, or at least what you want to accomplish during the next few years, and create a plan. If you don’t know, or just can’t think that far ahead, then at least set some short term goals and really get serious about reaching them. Even something as simple as “camp in Hualien” or “go to Fulong beach.” As you accomplish these small things you’ll build momentum and confidence and be able to set bigger goals.

You just have to set goals, and accordingly you have to make plans to reach them. Life devolves into a whole lot of nothing if you don’t impart some kind of structure on it.

Plus, you don’t even need a scooter to travel. Buses, trains. Taiwan makes it so easy.

Also, if you don’t like teaching, you could always try looking for different work. Might be hard if you don’t have any other skills, though.

Nobody can tell you whether you should stay or go. Only you can figure that out for yourself. Just get yourself together and do shit. Period.

5

I’ll second that motion.

6

What she said. Can’t really add much to that. Even if you go (where?) you’ll still be the same person, you’ll still be drinking, and you’ll still be drifting aimlessly through life.

You might want to watch some Jordan Peterson videos :wink:

Seriously, though, one comment JP often makes is about “leaving a legacy”. When you’re gone, what trace of your existence do you want to leave behind, other than a lot of glass for recycling? If the answer is “nuthin”, that’s bad news. Think of something. It doesn’t have to be anything extraordinary, but it does need to be something that will get you out of bed in the morning and working towards that goal.

You might also want to invest in yourself a bit. You come across as a pretty likeable person, so possibly you lack confidence in your physical appearance? Buy some nice clothes. Smarten yourself up. Sign up for the gym and start eating properly. Being able to look in the mirror and think, “yeah, I look pretty good today” is a prerequisite for a healthy social life, IMO, especially if you expect Members of the Opposite Sex to be involved.

7

Go.

8

To me this shows that your problem is not Taiwan. Maybe a change will help or maybe it won’t but even if you go don’t let the novelty of wherever you go next fool you into thinking you nothing is wrong. It will come back and it will be back with a vengeance.

That said, how is your social life here? despite all the things I utterly love here, it’s somehow impossible to find local friends here. Every single person I ever really connected here were foreigners and they always leave very soon. If that’s the case with you too, I guess you should either try harder to make friends or just leave.

9

I’d ask yourself if a change of workplace and or scenery within TW would improve your happiness level. If yes try that first. If you dont think so, bail. There’s nothing unusual about feeling like that there. Being in an environment you dont like and coping by drinking is not a good long term outlook.

If you can afford to leave your job I’d spend some time on the east coast and see if you like it. The fresh air and nature there are 180 difference. I didn’t like the west coast of tw at all but loved the east coast.

If you still dont like it after that I’d bounce. Tw is what it is and It’s not gonna change. If you don’t have kids and or a family there are other countries in Asia to teach in that I’d imagine you’ll enjoy more.

10

As a general rule of thumb, don’t ‘go’ until you find a situation that is likely to be better. (Sorry for stating the obvious). But you will thank yourself later if you take care to plan the next step, otherwise you are also likely to do the frying pan - fire routine.

11

Jobs in Taiwan often don’t pay you enough money so you can save up and do other stuff, you can’t afford to travel in the region and enjoy Asia. It used to be like that 20 years ago for English teachers but now…Not really …Rare enough.

Been there, done that struggling to make a decent living here. You won’t get a medal for it.

I think given the shit earning and poor outlook in Taiwan it’s best to take the chance to up sticks to where the living could be easier and you can connect with like minded folks. Either your own country folk or a place with more foreigners having fun or at least where people are saving some decent cash…

BrianJones keeping it real here.

12

Should @Uncreativeusername stay?
@discobot fortune

13

:crystal_ball: Without a doubt

14

He’s from Australia. It doesn’t get easier than that.

15

Alright thanks for the advice

I am the kind of person who gains an interest in something, spends lots of time reading up on it, maybe buying some things, then never actually doing it.
And like I mentioned I’ve been wanting to get out and see more of Taiwan, but I’ve been wanting to do that for 18 months.

I want to, but I don’t know how to. I guess it’s become habit. Like if it’s the weekend and in the morning I tell myself “no drinking tonight” and then when it’s 5 o’clock I’m like “well now what do I do”. And then sometimes on weekdays I have some leftover booze and I’m like “I’ll have one drink since it’s been a long day” and it always ends up turning into a piss-up

You know I’ve half followed him. I only listened to a couple of videos. I thought they were pretty interesting but never listened to more. Idk I find it hard to find the motivation to do much at all these days. For example I considered myself a bit of a film buff but these days I hardly ever get around to watching one; I’ve probably watched 1 this year.

For sure. But I figure I do have some friends, family, and access to counselling back home that I don’t have here.
As for my social life here, it’s nonexistant. And I’ve never been good at making friends. It usually takes me a while to feel comfortable around someone new.

I think if I quit my job I wouldn’t go for another English teaching one here.

Yeah, opportunities are 100% better back home.

I do have some sort of path in mind for when I go back. I thought I’d join the military in a position related to my major, then use that experience and get into financial advisory or something like that. Although I’d probably have to lie about my depression to get in. And I kind of saw myself getting active and fit while here.
I suppose the most logical thing to me to do is to go out and explore, and get fit, then go back home, spend a few months enjoying the summer and the city by going back to uber driving, then applying for the army. But once again, it’s hard to find the motivation.

I agree and I’ve thought about this stuff a lot. To me I guess it’s having a family and all that sort of stuff. It almost seems unreachable though.
Hah yeah I am very insecure in my appearance. I really don’t know how to do the dressing and grooming stuff and motivational issues

16

Have you been to Vietnam? If you don’t have family obligations in TW it would be worth a try. Can make close to the same income teaching, the market isn’t as saturated, it’s more socially rewarding. Plus the beaches there are off the charts and it’s easier to make friends.

I know a small handful of people that genuinely enjoy living in Taiwanese cities, the majority either pretend to or are faking their way through it in some way, and then some openly admit they don’t but hang around and complain. If you’re in the latter two it’s probably time to relocate, life is short.

Give living on the east coast a try first tho seriously, its a great place and the fresh air and ocean clear out a lot of the depression. TW cities and culture can be pretty oppressive mentally at times.

17

Yes indeed someone once said if you stayed past three years you are in danger of staying past thirty years

So if you want to flee now is your chance

Maybe go to Vietnam isn’t that the new happening place?

18

You better start listening to your inside voice. Being really busy and focus, you will not have this thoughts in the first place.

Go to Vietnam, is next hot spot. Wealth going up there crazy. But is still Asia, more dirty, more chaotic, dangerous with scooter too, worse health care, better food and better girls.

Asia is for risk takers.

19

I only read the title. Go. There. Done. You’re welcome. :banana:

20

@Uncreativeusername

You probably should go back then. Teaching in Taiwan is not for everyone. At least you recognize this and didn’t let yourself get stuck in a decade long rut. You’re very young and you’ve only been here a bit more than a year. You’ll be able to start something new back home and this time in your life will just be a funny memory. I would see a substances abuse counselor about your drinking though. It sounds excessive and harmful.