While waiting for an intercity bus, I often find myself contemplating the rows of vending machines that sell plastic junk toys, often from Japan, and often packaged in little plastic spheres. What a fascinating window into the collective unconscious! Besides all the obvious Doraemons and Winnies-the-Pooh, here are some of the more head-scratching items:
Toys based on “Ted,” the foul-mouthed teddy of recent movie fame. One has him swigging from a beer bottle; on another, he humps a checkout scanner.
A line of plastic dogs, molded so that one of their hind legs is raised as if to urinate.
Tiny school-style chairs and desks, as if scaled for a dollhouse–and stackable!
So check out the toy-vending machines the next time you see some. What are the strangest ones?
There have been some rather odd/disturbing ones out recently at my local 7-11. They feature a very young looking french maid kind of girl, in a variety of compromising positions. For example - doing the crab while balancing a large spoon on her belly etc. I didn’t realise there was such a market for things like that, and that 7-11 would put them where kids could see (I really don’t think they’re for kids).
I have seen other pretty cool stuff though. Sea mammals, beetles, even a variety of colourful sea-slugs.
I guess the Japanese have found a way to encapsulate a little something for everyone.
Some of those dolls in weird positions are supposed to go on the edge of a cup. Some others, yes, are not bordering on pr0nographic, but juts plain ol pr0n!
More toys from vending machines (on the 2nd floor of Taipei’s main intercity bus station):
Dogs literally sandwiched between slices of bread.
Peeled bananas made to look like nesting birds. (The white part is the bird’s body / head and has a beak.)
Heroic-looking traffic police / meter maids.
A kangaroo striking a sexy pose, reclining with its forearm behind its head.
Small plastic copies of the heads of Michelangelo’s David, the Statue of Liberty, and King Tut’s burial mask–with the nostrils enlarged, so one can pull a handkerchief out through their noses. (That’s what the illustration seemed to be suggesting; I can’t read the Japanese explanation.)
This wasn’t a vending machine, but one of those claw toy games. I snapped these photos in Nankan in 2010; the machine was in a small underground mall, outside of Toys R Us.
Naked women packed into fast food–one in a sandwich, one in an order of fries, one in a coke.
Kittens playing with, or stealing, bakery products.
Sumo wrestlers leaning against the wall with one hand, in the “Joe Cool” pose. One ad image shows the sumo flirting with a normal-sized woman, whom he leans into (with his arm against the wall, boxing her in). Another has both hands out–the illustration shows him on top of a woman horizontally, with his arms / hands in a push-up pose on either side of her head. The toy is just the sumo, though.
Old men on a park bench. One has a cane, one reads the newspaper, etc. Is there really a market for this?
Cute zoo animals lying on their backs.
Cute zoo animals lying on their stomachs.
People hanging from ledges by one hand. The idea is to position them on the edge of a bookshelf or something.
Men whose heads have been replaced with miscellaneous objects: a siren, a speaker, a bag of popcorn.
Plus all the usual cultural detritus from Disney, Doraemon, One-Piece, etc.
I watched two people put money into the machines today. Both seemed to be college-age girls. One bought toys (mentioned above) designed to look like anti-mosquito products.
I have a few sets of binlang girls in a variety of poses like sitting on the stool, leaning into a car, leaning out the door… Really cool and some of my best souvenirs of Taiwan. Binlang girls are the girls in the glass boxes along the side of the road selling bettlnut while wearing lingerie or sexy outfits.
Little kids play these games. One toy I saw was a cute little moose, but if you look closely it is sporting a massive erection, with a pair of giant testicles to go with it. Not suitable for kids.
