Survey Participants Needed

divorce

#1

Dear Forumosa Community,

I am looking for participants to complete my 10-question survey on overseas marriage, divorce (with kids), i.e., respondents are needed who have been married abroad to a local while overseas, then divorced, with kids, overseas.

Here is the link:

https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/BYRCY3B

I would greatly appreciate your honest participation.

Michael B


#2

What is the purpose of your survey?


#3


#4

Now now, be nice. :slight_smile:


#5

The purpose?

I’m looking, simply, to understand the experiences of others who have had similar experiences in going through marriage and divorce overseas, leading to some understanding of how it unfolds.

When you lose your children through the biased lens of a foreign court, you start to wonder how others have experienced the process, from start to finish. This survey was/is intended to just get some insights into how culture impacts, or not, overseas marriage, and I was then hoping to follow up with some questions regarding custody overseas.


#6

Can you please share your findings in this thread. I have a friend (male) who seems to be facing imminent divorce. I only know his side of the story, but I know 100% that he is an incredible father, and likely the more caring parent. The wife is increasingly unpredictable and hints at divorce. His kids don’t have their US passports yet. Thus, although I hope he can reconcile with his wife (I take no sides), I hope that your survey results can be shared here to give him and others some guidance. This is all a sad and unfortunate occurrence here in TW. Divorce rates are likely no higher than in other countries and contexts, but the foreigner nearly always gets the short end of the stick.

Best wishes on your research. I’m happily single and, therefore, cannot take the survey.


#7

I’ll keep this in mind, yet only six respondents so far over the first few days, so it may be a while. Trying to post it elsewhere.

Oh, I definitely got the short end of the stick, so empathy and sympathy abounds.

During my 3.5 years in divorce/custody courts in Taiwan, I put my story out there a bit, resulting in meeting a few expat dudes who’d experience similar horror stories. He’s not alone, as there are others. Especially if he has kids, have him look into whatever resources he can, immediately, to help bring about some positive results if they do custody in court.

It was hell.


#8

Thanks for your reply. I’m encouraging him as much as I can. Recommended NOT trying to sneak the kids or of country, as they don’t have passports yet, and the wife would definitely sniff out any movement there. Also, correct me if I’m wrong, but a parent leaving the country alone with the kids would have to show a letter of consent from the other parent, or is that a Western thing? I hope more parents will speak out and help you with experience sharing from their tribulations!

Best regards!


#9

From what I understood at the time, immigration would need to see a letter as well to let him take kids out of Taiwan, which, I hate to say because it is going to sound bitter and biased, would probably be next to impossible for him to do but perhaps easy for his Taiwanese wife.

There was enough evidence of corruption and bias on the court’s behalf in my case that I would fear for any fairness on his behalf (e.g., I had secretly recorded an assigned-by-the-court’s Guardian ad Litem’s visit to my home in 2016, yet her report nine months later ripped me apart, stated all sorts of absurd falsehoods, alleged so many lies. Then both the custody judge and appellate judges used her report as the reason for me to lose custody, and then they defended the cu-- of the woman for her professional, respected status as a university prof, even though my secret recording of her visit destroyed every single false claim she had written).

Anyway, during those 3.5 years in court, I had promised my ex that I wasn’t going anywhere with the kids, proving also to the courts that because she had the kids’ Taiwanese passports (which had their last entry stamps from our trip to Brunei) I could do nothing at all with the kids’ US passports which I had retained in my possession (i.e., since there were no entry stamps in them, we wouldn’t have been able to leave). Moreover, at the start of the separation, since things were fine for 2-3 months, I had it also in my mind that I never would have taken my kids away from their birther (I refuse to use the word ‘mot—’ with her), for that would not have been fair to my children.

Wishing the man well.


#10

Your story deeply saddens me, as parental responsibility and aptitude has zero correlation to gender, although the TW fathers TEND to work more and have less chance to parent their kids. However, there’s been an ongoing rumor that fathers have more power in custody issues. Unless there is evidence of abuse or adultery. However, a big however, that appears to only apply to Taiwanese fathers, whereas some stories tend to demonstrate that “foreign” fathers, BLOOD fathers are discriminated against.

Oh, but Taiwanese are the most welcoming and least racist people in the world :joy:


#11

What does that mean? We married when we were outside of Taiwan? Like for a weekend trip to Macau? Or living outside of Taiwan?

And is divorce and kids part of it, or just the first part with that?

Have you really thought about this or I just don’t understand the question or what?


#12

Perhaps you feel I’ve committed an error; thanks for noticing.

Perhaps I should have explained more clearly that I am looking for participants

  1. “who have been married abroad” in a nation outside their home country (meaning the participant him/herself was an expat at the time of marriage, i.e., he/she was in a different country and not his/her birth country), and…

  2. “to a local while overseas”, meaning the expat [foreigner] married a local person in the country in which the foreigner was living as an expat.

Examples:

  • An American woman married a local Japanese man while in Japan
  • A Swiss expat dude married a Brazilian while living in Brazil
  • A Japanese woman married a Brit while living in England
  • A Canadian gal married a Taiwanese bloke while in Taiwan

#13

Good points, ADG.

From all of my 10-plus meetings with various lawyers in Taiwan between 2013-2016, both foreign and local, my understanding is that 20-to-30 years ago, Taiwanese men almost inevitably received custody, yet that trend changed and nearly all custody case outcomes go to women now.

I met one Aussie gent in Taiwan who’d gotten custody, after all was revealed of what the ex (a local) had perpetrated, but all other expats (men) I’d met online or a handful in person, had lost custody. One Brit hadn’t seen his daughter in more than seven years, though the courts awarded him weekend rights. The court never upheld the ruling and never enforced visitation. Other stores mirrored such BS.

Least racist… ahem.


#14

To clarify, cases like that two expats got married in a 3rd country, then moved to either party’s home country, then got divorced there, are not included?

this is true if children are younger than 3 year old. Only 20% go to fathers. Custody of older kids may go to fathers with higher possibility, 35% for 3~7 yo, and ~40% for older kids. This number is outcomes of court cases, and icluding joint custody.