Taiwanese acquaintance comes to visit

Taiwan Living in Taiwan
#1

Us, in Canada. She’s a single woman in her mid-thirties with beautiful handwriting who is doing graduate study in TEFL in the U.S. My wife (a native of Taiwan) kept in vague contact with her due to their (former) shared interest in TEFL. It’s summer. Plans were made for her to come and see Niagara Falls and Toronto and the like. She graced us with her presence for a whole week, and now that it’s over we can only chuckle, because, you see, it’s been a while since we’ve really interacted with Taiwanese people, and with her we got the whole package, including:

  1. The enthusiastic Taiwanese style of banter, wherein one cannot comment in passing that a wall is green without one’s interlocutor emitting about 45 “hmm hmm hmm’s” two octaves above middle C in agreement, interspersed betwixt and between a rapturous affirmation that “yes, the wall is green” and a thoughtful reflection that “you know, I really do believe that the wall is green,” all of this crammed effortlessly into the temporal space occupied by the original declaration, with parts of it even ending up inadvertently in unison.

  2. The drawn-out Scooby Doo “ho-o-o-o?” in response to anything which might be construed as shocking or unusual, such as the fact that we take showers in the morning instead of at night before we go to bed.

  3. The gregarious meal-time slurping, lip-smacking and animated “hmm hmm hmm’s” with a mouthful of food.

  4. The happy discussion of “foreigners” using stereotypical characterizations of such crudity as to make a Big-Mac-scarfing fat man in an SUV picking up a sixpack of Bud and a round of ammo at a drive-thru in Arkansas demur.

  5. The docile lack of interest in the discussion of anything remotely connected to the arts, politics, culture or even sports. For five days we talked about how salty foreign food is and our various medical complaints. Oh, and shopping. And making money. What did she do to take a break from her studies? Sleep, of course.

It’s not very nice of me to paint such a caricature, I know. And my wife didn’t mind having someone other than me around to chat with in Chinese. I will admit that Taiwanese people have an especially diplomatic aptitude for spending time with people with whom they have almost nothing in common, though I’m not entirely certain how much of a good thing that actually is. In any case, wifey and I are Canadians now, for better or for worse, so the various Taiwanese mannerisms on display over the past week stood out in sharp relief for us.

The end result? We’re now feeling quite relieved.

#2

Nice to feel that little bit superior, hey?
And Taiwanese people are docile and have no interest in talking about politics. :loco: Well some of them I guess.

#3

They arent all the same you know?

#4

So you had an arsehole to stay. Why not just say that? Kudos to your wife for her choice of acquaintances, though.

#5

[quote=“rousseau”]it’s been a while since we’ve really interacted with Taiwanese people, and with her we got the whole package, including:

  1. The happy discussion of “foreigners” using stereotypical characterizations of such crudity as to make a Big-Mac-scarfing fat man in an SUV picking up a sixpack of Bud and a round of ammo at a drive-thru in Arkansas demur.
    [/quote]

But it’s fine to make similar characterisations of Taiwanese people.

#6

Tough crowd. Looks like the sense of humour button went missing. I should point out that by saying we “got the whole package” I mean, by inference, that not all Taiwanese people exhibit all of the weird things our guest did–many might lay claim to one or two out of the list–so I’m not guilty of painting the whole of the island of Forumosa with the same broad brush strokes that she did with “foreigners.”

I admit I didn’t hit quite the right tone, in any case. It was meant to be somewhat affectionate. Still, what’s with all the passive-aggressive touchiness? Maybe I should do a hack job on Canadians, us hockey-playing, doughnut-scarfing eh-sayers, to make people feel better?

#7

Passive aggressive? I’m terribly sorry – I meant to just be aggressive. I’ll try harder next time.

#8

Yep. They must be on the rag or something. I enjoyed your post, a good laugh.

I can recall numerous occasions when a certain skirt wearer has opined on the mind-numbing inanity of many local conversations.

Anyway, the best way to spice up conversations is to hit the grog; it’s the lubricant that keeps the wheels and cogs of the foreign community here in Taiwan turning smoothly. It’s a pity that all the foreigners except for me are complete wankers. :laughing: How unlucky is that!

#9

rousseau, I found your post great, but you left out a key index. Where was your guest on the TPI, the Taiwan Princess Index, which is the ratio of actual princess power divided by imagined princess power. Although the TPI is a closely guarded secret, a week is long enough to extract the necessary numerator and denominator through TP::TP bonding. To avoid confusion, the equivalent index for Taiwan males is the TMI, substituting prince for princess. The numerator and denominator of the TMI are normally extracted with a series of ethanol washes.

#10

Great post rousseau. Been there myself, though I wouldn’t have it any other way, really. There is something comforting about it, isn’t there.

“Taiwan Princess Index” Oooooh you hit the nail of the proverbial head! Understanding this is they key proper maintentance of familial relations (At least for me…I’ve got 3 sister out-laws) that periodically come to our house and camp out. Ethanol washes work for both indexes. I need not say a thing and I’m amused for a week by the things that pop-out.

#11

Yep. They must be on the rag or something. I enjoyed your post, a good laugh.[/quote]
I thought it was funny, too. :idunno:

#12

I enjoyed that, rousseau.

Princess index is hilarious.

Oh, how I wish there was an ex-pat forum here in Croatia so I could read furriners post this kind of shit about Croatians and Croatian women in particular. There’s some really good, unexploited material here, I tell you! Princess indexes would be on par with those of Taiwanese ladies, I’m sure. Alas!

#13

feed her.
And engage in social discourse.
Let her know that there are far, far worse places than southern ontario.
Having spent almost a month in that/this suckhole, it’s quite readily apparent how appallingly negligent the locals are. Having grown immune to the stuff, it’s still rather scary.
Support the Troops!