I must be crazy. I am taking the cute boy home to meet my family. Well, my twin brother is getting married so I have no choice in whether I go back or not. But he agreed to go with me.
How do you get your family members to talk slowly enough for your SO to understand them and not treat them like a BaiCh?
Those who have experiences with this have to tell me what things I need to do to pad this and help it go smoothly.
My family is the most welcoming, loving, wonderful group of people alive. So I know they will like him. (they like everyone) And he is a very sweet man so I know he will like them. I am more worried about what to do to make him more comfortable while staying in my mother’s house?
I KNOW he won’t like her cooking…
But I can cook…
I also know he won’t like my bed. My big soft wonderful bed.
Is there any way to make a matress more firm?
Oh yeah. Mom’s cooking and daddy’s cajun cooking. Oh yeah…
One piece of advice. Don’t be tempted to leave him alone in the room with one of your parents while you excitedly chat away with the other as soon as you arrive. It’ll make him feel really awkward and he probably won’t thank you for it. Let him at least settle in for a day or two first.
Here are some of the many things I find uncomfortable, when I am at MrsHill’s folks gaff…
Being left alone for extended (hours) periods of time with family members, whilst my bit chats to whoever.
Waking up and going downstairs alone in the morning and having to face ‘A-Ma’ and her Taiwanese chatter.
Being talked about, and not to, at the table. (Big NO NO!)
Having mother shout at me about my weight, diet, alcoholic tendencies, speeding fines, desire to go out and exercise, whilst my s.o. looks on.
Being given ‘tofu’ then finding out after the chuckles that it was a chickens NUT.
Being told to say something in Chinese and then finding out you have announced to all and sundry, “I like to eat shit.” (MrsHill has a place reserved in hell for that little stunt)
Generally, don’t leave the poor creature alone for too long, don’t let him take any crap, and translate and stick up for him. (Come to ours for a guide in “How NOT to respect foreigners yet let them reside in your house cos it would be rude not to.”
I can promise he won’t be fed Chicken Balls cuz I don’t think the local Albertson’s carry those.
And his English is not good enough to keep up with the conversations, but good enough not to worry about being told to say he likes sex with transvestites…
[quote=“SuchAFob”]I can promise he won’t be fed Chicken Balls cuz I don’t think the local Albertson’s carry those.
And his English is not good enough to keep up with the conversations, but good enough not to worry about being told to say he likes sex with transvestites…[/quote]
I’ll tell you what. Sounds like you’re so busy hanging out with your family, I will drop by and watch his back. Anything goes wrong, crackers are going to get a beat down. Wait, crackers got guns in Texas, right? In that case, he and I will chat quietly on the patio… with the engine running.
These crackers don’t got guns. But my honey is too gentle to beat anyone down. You would have to beat the crackers down yourself while baby calmly said “No. No. Violence is for small minds. The Dali Lama says… watch out for that chair…”
my wife and i are home for a rest just now … she’s been here before, but the amount of bread that gets eaten in NA astounds her, and she tires of it quickly. get a couple packages of instant noodles or whatever comfort food he likes for when the meals are just not to his liking.
If the above is true then you’re probably gonna be fine. I recently met my Taiwanese gf’s parents and it was cool. From the sounds of it your parents are much less conservative than hers - we definitely wouldn’t sleep in the same bed at her parents place and we still pretend that we live in separate apartments even though she’s at my place 99% of the time.
The trick is to get everyone relaxed and chatting … alcohol helps a lot here. My gf’s father was toasting me with his foul tasting local drink even though it was the first time I had met him in 2.5 years (I had met her mom on a few occasions before).
I honestly think it will be great. Remember, if your parents are the nice people you have been telling us about, then they will also be a little nervous and trying their best to impress. Good luck!
[quote=“TomHill”]Here are some of the many things I find uncomfortable, when I am at MrsHill’s folks gaff…
Being left alone for extended (hours) periods of time with family members, whilst my bit chats to whoever.
Waking up and going downstairs alone in the morning and having to face ‘A-Ma’ and her Taiwanese chatter.
Being talked about, and not to, at the table. (Big NO NO!)
Having mother shout at me about my weight, diet, alcoholic tendencies, speeding fines, desire to go out and exercise, whilst my s.o. looks on.
Being given ‘tofu’ then finding out after the chuckles that it was a chickens NUT.
Being told to say something in Chinese and then finding out you have announced to all and sundry, “I like to eat shit.” (MrsHill has a place reserved in hell for that little stunt)
Generally, don’t leave the poor creature alone for too long, don’t let him take any crap, and translate and stick up for him. (Come to ours for a guide in “How NOT to respect foreigners yet let them reside in your house cos it would be rude not to.”[/quote]
Sorry Tom, that’s what you have to put up with. But IMO I don’t think your wife has much esteem for you either. I guess I’m thinking that when you marry, that you and your spouse are a unit, so to speak, so to have someone degrade them would be allowing them to degrade you.
If the above is true then you’re probably gonna be fine. I recently met my Taiwanese gf’s parents and it was cool. From the sounds of it your parents are much less conservative than hers - we definitely wouldn’t sleep in the same bed at her parents place and we still pretend that we live in separate apartments even though she’s at my place 99% of the time.[/quote]
I don’t need to worry about my parents acting like Taiwanese conservatives being that they aren’t Taiwanese.
Food:
Warn your mother that he probably will not like all the food she makes. Make her understand that this is not rude on his part, and give her examples of Taiwanese food she could be served in Taiwan, which she probably would not apreciate too much either.
Instand noodles are a must.
You and him should prepare at least one Taiwanese looking/tasting/style meal together for your family.
Conversations:
Incude him as much as possible, slow down your speed to encourage others to do the same, and translate when/if you feel he can not follow.
[quote=“X3M”]Food:
Warn your mother that he probably will not like all the food she makes. Make her understand that this is not rude on his part, and give her examples of Taiwanese food she could be served in Taiwan, which she probably would not apreciate too much either.
Instand noodles are a must.
[/quote]
Haha. My poor mom. It is going to take a year to explain to her why he can’t eat beef.
If your BF can cook well then get him to cook a Chinese meal for your family…
Leave out the stinky Tofu…
You never know how parents will react. When my twin sister brought home her BF to meet the 'rents the old man had a fit…
Here was this tall fully bearded hobo looking guy who brought my sister home on his Honda Goldwing. The old man wasnt impressed at all. Especially as their age differnence was more than 10 years.
But then things smoothed out. The old man was Master Builder and her BF was an Architect so they soon had something in common to tak about
I think this thread is a rather touching testament to the love SaF has for her boyfriend. I wonder whether La TomHill, and indeed my own wife (all those many years ago) would have even given a second’s thought to the matter…
SaF’s parents are bound to get some things wrong, from the boyfriend’s perspective. But it’s perfectly clear that they’ll be doing all in their power to make him comfortable. My mother does the same, I think. Me: I just don’t understand Taiwanese culture.
[quote=“SuchAFob”][quote=“X3M”]Food:
Warn your mother that he probably will not like all the food she makes. Make her understand that this is not rude on his part, and give her examples of Taiwanese food she could be served in Taiwan, which she probably would not apreciate too much either.
Instand noodles are a must.
[/quote]
Haha. My poor mom. It is going to take a year to explain to her why he can’t eat beef.[/quote]
How long will it take you to explain to your mom that stinking doufu, chickenballs, fish-heads, chickenfeet etc. are delicious? OK, vegetarian, he probably don’t even eat dog-meat - what a shame…
