Just as a counterweight for all the sadness, to give us some hope
I don’t have one, most of my experience with local girls is first dates. There was one almost-a-relationship
But some of you must have happily ever after stories you’re willing to share?
Edit: to be clear, I mean relationships between foreigners and Taiwanese
my wife is not Taiwanese, but we’ve met here. She was friends with my roommate.
15 years together.
Off topic, but I’ll allow it… congrats!
met the missus about 20+ years ago, married about 5 years later, raised the birth rate of Taiwan with our children, too.
Have ups and downs, but thankfully the former more than the latter. Any marriage/relationship not easy. Just gotta work at it if worth it.
I’m an inconsiderate cunt. My wife is an ever forgiving saint. I dated a lot back in the old country and took a pass on many bad ones with a couple of regrettable good ones thrown in. My wife was many of the things I wanted in a partner. Didn’t want to let her go. Haven’t regretted it. She loves cooking, what more can a fat man want?
One of my stories (Also know fair number of Japanese married to Taiwan for long time that seem happy)
Are you two still together?
Getting married next week to a girl I met here. We survived long distance when we both went to different graduate programs. Reunited, lived together for a few years, split up for part of COVID again and now both here in Taiwan again.
Been together almost 4 years now. Looking forward to spending the rest of our lives together.
I’m American. I met my Taiwanese boyfriend in 2013 while I was living in Hualian. We were together for two years, but I moved back to Taoyuan and I stupidity broke it off thinking a “long distance” relationship wouldn’t work.
I dated a few guys afterwards, as did he, but I never felt the same connection. We stayed friends on Facebook, and one day about four years ago we were chatting and almost simultaneously said 我很想你 (I really miss you). And immediately we were back together like no time had passed.
Our relationship has only gotten stronger since then. We are both busy with our jobs in our own areas, so we’re still in different parts of Taiwan, but it doesn’t really matter. We get together as often as we can and we’re fine with the situation, maybe because we aren’t youngsters anymore. I’m almost certain I’ll move back to Hualian when I retire in a few years.
We’re happy–that’s my happy Taiwanese relationship story.
The 1:09 Tainan Express
It was 1994, and I had been in Taiwan just 5 months and was living in Taipei behind NTU in Gongguan and commuting to my teaching gig at Hess in Banquiao. I was still getting familiar with the buses and trains, and still getting my bearings, when I thought I would get smart and jump the train to Banqiao (Hess Chongqing Branch was behind Banqiao train station in those days). I rushed on to the 1:09pm train, hoping I could just make it for my 1:30pm class at Hess.
As Banquiao train station swept passed, I walked the train looking for a conductor. “Where is the next stop?” The conductor laughed as he looked at my unreserved seat ticket, “Next stop: TAINAN!”
No cellphones back then, I found a payphone on the train, and dialed my Hess Branch. As luck would have it, the CT (Teaching Assistant) who least liked me answered the phone. “IRIS!” I screamed into the payphone, “I cannot make it to class today!!” In those days, the payphones showed the value of the call ticking down.
“What is it this time?” She asked as I noted the time (1:25pm) and the call value nearing zero
“Wrong train! Out of change … Pls tell Steve, (myHead NST)…” (Click – the call got cut). Iris, must have thought I hung up on her
All I had with me were my N5 books for the classes I was supposed to teach. Without a reserved seat, I sat on the floor and read them over and over for the 4 hour ride.
In Tainan, I left the station to look for a postcard to mail to the girl I recently went out on a date with back in Taipei. What a funny-sad story this would make, so I may as well postmark it. Sadly, had I stayed in the railway system and simply walked to the northbound track, I would not have had to pay for the ride to-and-from Tainan – or so the ticketing booth explained to me. This was shaping up into a sad biting day.
On the ride back, I at least had a seat this time. I then remembered the girl I sent the postcard to did mention she was going to the south to conduct some trainings for a company she was with. I couldn’t remember where down south she went, so I decided to look around the train after we passed Taichung.
Walking up and down the train, just as I was about to give up, I suddenly spotted her, digging into a bowl of noodles she was eating on the train! We found a place on the train to talked the rest of the way, practically continuing our previously date the week before. As the train rolled into Banqiao train station in the evening, we decided to hop off and catch a movie in the nightmarket across the street.
What began as a terrible and embarrassing afternoon became a magical second date in the evening. A few years later, we were engaged, and later married and started a family. Over the decades, so much has changed in Taiwan – I even doubt there is still a 1:09 express train. For me, I’ll never forget it.
(Btw, I’m in Tainan today to watch a concert! Today is our wedding anniversary)
32 years and counting. I’m American; she’s Taiwanese. We have one son who’s in the States. He’s 30.
You want a long-term relationship? You’ve both got to work at it. Sometimes it’s easy; sometimes it’s difficult. Currently, it’s really good.
Serendipity for sure!
I’m at the Hualian train station right now, where I wrote my experience above.
Not being able to speak Chinese was a huge barrier for me. In my life before Taiwan I’d always been able to pull girls with my faux intelligence and witty banter. I just got blank stares here.
I went on Tealit chat and hooked up with some who could speak a modicum of English, but they were dreadful in the sack. The last Taiwanese filly I took home gave me chlamydia.
After that, it was just foreign girls: Russians, South Africans, Noisy Americans.
I met my wife the first week I was here, but she was married. Twelve years ago she called me and told me she’d divorced, so I got together with her.
She doesn’t count, though, because she’s from Hong Kong. But she is Asian.
Been happily with my gf for 6+ yrs. I think the cross culture thing works for us, I help her with English and she helps me with Chinese.
First TW gf I had was the stereotypical jealous drama type. Parents were a pain in the ass to boot. I guess I learned what to steer clear of. Moral of the story: get some experience of the girls here first I guess?
Met online back in early 2000s.
We traveled back and forth to visit.
Me to Taiwan a couple times, her to the States a couple times.
Distance relationships are near impossible to keep alive long, so we decided it would be easier for me to move my life to Taiwan than her to the States. 2006 I sold all I had in the States and moved to Taiwan.
1 year later we married.
16 years later, we have 2 kids, a dog, car, scooter, a mortgage, good jobs, and a good marriage.
We had rough spots and still do, all marriages do. But the whole point of marriage is to work it out through those tough spots. We are stronger for each hardship / obstacle we overcome.
Language and culture will always be a challenge. But over the years it gets easier. I went to school for a year to learn Chinese way back when I arrived. Her English has always been good. This has helped tremendously.
Shoulder your own responsibilities, dont leave everything up to your local spouse to do when it comes to bills, accounts, and doing things in Chinese. Take the initiative and get things done. Communicate, communicate, communicate, always communicate. Patience, doing things together, developing and fostering hobbies together is also key. You are 2 and you are 1. Show love, not just words, but actions.
Definitely have your house in order before having kids. Having kids just amplifies hardships if you are not prepared.
Learn to give and take, compromise, and dont play the blame game. Grow old gracefully together, stay in shape, dont be a slob, clean up after yourself and keep a tidy home.
Last but not least, dont be unfaithful. There will always be someone younger, better looking, thinner, fitter, etc. Beauty is much, much more than what you see.
Thirty years of marriage. I’m western she’s Taiwanese, first marriage and only marriage.
I am Taiwanese, my husband is American. Next April we will be married for 48 years. First 42 years we lived in US and last 6 years in Taiwan.
Living in Taiwan has been hard on him. But he still enjoyed it.
Our marriage worked because my husband is very very good to me. I don’t nag, my point view is if it’s not a deal breaker behavior. I don’t let it bother me.
I wear the tennis bracelet that my husband gave me years ago to remind me to be compassionate to him and to myself.
So, if you see a couple holding hands going down the street. He with grey hair, me with my hair dyed with a bit on the red side (his choice) that’s us.
Thank you @TT for making this thread. It’s been nice reading these positive and heartwarming comments.
Self-awareness is an excellent attribute for a long and happy relationship 
It’s something that took me a long time to learn. I’m getting a bit better at it, but I definitely let one or two get away because I was an inconsiderate cunt. So no happy story from me.
Loved your post. Wishing you many more years of shared happiness.