Don’t waste your time going to see “The Vagina Monologues” this year, folks. Instead come to my new play, “The Vagina Dialogues”. This play is made up of a varying number of dialogues about the vagina, but contrary to the former “Monologues” the vaginas in “Dialogues” are not whining, complaining, victims. These vaginas actually like men and are thankful for things like penises, tampons, thongs, and gynos. Some dialogues include:
“My vagina is not a flower; it’s a vagina”
“Why 21st-century vaginas prefer waxing over shaving”
“If tampons hadn’t been invented I think I’d kill myself”
“Well hello there Mr. Wang. How you doin’?”
“Short skirts: If you wear them, they will come”
“Call me a cunt again and watch me kick your ass”
“V does not stand for victim”
and more…
All proceeds from this exciting new play will be used to educate non-tampon users on the fabulousness of tampons. I hope you’ll all come out to support this very important cause.
Even if you didn’t like the monologues, I’m sure those who have not gone might enjoy it. I know many did. And let’s not forget that all the proceeds go to help various womens charities and womens groups around Taiwan.
And you must admit. Taiwan needs all the extra community service it can muster.
Erhu, you have certainly hit the spot with this one! Even for almas who has managed to write his first post that doesn’t mention alcohol, so you know you’ve done something right!
For me too. I’ve always felt a little repressed by all those Vaginas who wanted me to have monologues with my vagina and grow a bush to cover my flowers.
I’m definitely going to see your show.
Who’ve you got in male role? Anyone we know?
Oh, and can I add a story on Vaginal Wipes? I’d call it “Not just for laptop screens”
Gotta go now and violate myself with an O.B.
[quote=“SuchAFob”]Even if you didn’t like the monologues, I’m sure those who have not gone might enjoy it. I know many did. And let’s not forget that all the proceeds go to help various womens charities and womens groups around Taiwan.
And you must admit. Taiwan needs all the extra community service it can muster.[/quote]
Uh, SAF, I think you posted in the wrong thread… The serious/boring thread about Vagina MONOLOGUES is over here.
[quote=“SuchAFob”]Even if you didn’t like the monologues, I’m sure those who have not gone might enjoy it. I know many did. And let’s not forget that all the proceeds go to help various womens charities and womens groups around Taiwan.
And you must admit. Taiwan needs all the extra community service it can muster.[/quote]
Actually, I hope people do go to see the Vagina Monologues. Then they can see for themselves how awful it is, and how absolutely brilliant my parody is.
I also fully encourage people to donate to organizations like The Garden of Hope Foundation, which is a local non-profit that works to end violence against women and children. You see, I do have a heart along with a vagina, and they are both quite happy.
Yes please, and feel free to come up with more. My play is a work in progress.
Ok, I am initially flabbergasted to discover that vaginas not only think but that they communicate with their owners. I have tried to get my penis to talk, but he remains tight lipped.
My questions are: I am a little short sighted, will there be a touch and feel session?
Will you be selling any scratch and sniff stickers in the gift shop at the end of the performance?
These two vaginas walk into a bar. The one says to the other one “Jeez, I don’t even know why I go out with you, you couldn’t even be arsed to shave!”
The other one says “Count yourself lucky, two days ago I’d have had a string hanging out of my mouth.”
First one says “Yeah, well try not to be such a twat tonight, I don’t like the look of this place.”
The second one says “I know what you mean, the place is full of dicks. And that bartender looks kind of dodgy, too.”
First one says “Oh, don’t worry about him, he’s a big pussy.”
Don’t know about anybody else, but I am damn through trying to talk to this damn thing. All it does is leak on my sheets and occasionally fart in my face. I don’t want any more monologue (hell I get enough of that face to face) and I sure as hell am tired of the dialogue. What can I say?
Tash wrote [quote]Erhu, you have certainly hit the spot with this one! Even for almas who has managed to write his first post that doesn’t mention alcohol, so you know you’ve done something right! [/quote]
Hey, I don’t write many posts about boozing. It’s just my former signature line, “Beer is Good!” And besides that, my rare references to drinking are not shallow bar machismo, rather an almost religious devotion to the heavenly brews.
And to stay on topic, good posts from the womanfolk about the vagina dialogues. Forumosa is lucky to have such a smart group of female posters.
Damn!! That is awesome! Your vagina can actually fart in your face!!! :bravo: I’m sure your face doesn’t appreciate that, but maybe your vagina is trying to tell your face to do more than just look. I know MY face would do more for my vagina if it were able, but . . . .
Technically, I don’t think it was really his vagina he was talking about.
Fanny farts are funny. One of those funny little giggly bonding incidence that happen during sex. And well, those things do leak occasionally also. Just a fact of life.
[quote=“Huang Guang Chen”]Technically, I don’t think it was really his vagina he was talking about.
Fanny farts are funny. One of those funny little giggly bonding incidence that happen during sex. And well, those things do leak occasionally also. Just a fact of life.
HG[/quote]
We’re not talking about fanny farts, we’re talkin about queeching - or vagina farts. Didn’t you know there’s a difference?
Not so sure about the fabulousness of tampons, but a few friendly vaginas on stage can’t go too far wrong. 
