I blame myself for not explaining the frisbee situation better, I was triggered by the fact that he did it before and I told him not to do it again. Next time, I will not be triggered, I will not be triggered, I will not be triggered…
Also, at home he took his water bottle, opened the lid, looked at me and then started to slowly pour it onto the floor, that triggered me too. 
Is it possible he’s on to the fact that you won’t punish him and is consciously exploiting it?
Some guidance that I find works very well when used consistently among all the adults in someone’s life: be clear what the boundaries are in a “positive” tone and state clearly what they did and the consequences of the action if they do not follow said boundaries. It was already said above about saying “gently” instead of “don’t hit”, but in this case, when you arrive wherever you are, explaining that “you can throw your frisbee here” (walk the imaginary line of the boundary you set, ask for confirmation of understanding, maybe even have your child walk that line too) is MUCH more clear to a child than “don’t” + literally anything. The brain cannot process negatives. The second a child does not follow that direction, state, factually and emotionlessly, what they just did and the result. “You threw the frisbee over the cliff. It’s gone now”. (Or “you threw the frisbee outside of the boundaries. I’m going to hold on to it for you until we get home” and then following through immediately, no second chances ever)
If they’re over the age of 5 or 6, they have developed a reasoning mind and you can talk about how you were clear about the boundaries and what happened when they didn’t follow them. If they’re under the age of 5, do not bother. They cannot developmentally understand your “actions have consequences” statements. Keep stating facts. “I see that you are crying. Are you feeling angry because your frisbee is gone?”
This works VERY well with small children who hit. They hit because they don’t have the language to express their feelings. It’s your job as an adult to provide them with the language. “Johnny, you hit Suzy” followed by turning to Suzy and asking “Suzy, how do you feel?” allows both Johnny and Suzy (and any other children present) to learn that that action is called “hit” (now they have an opportunity to associate the language with the action) and Johnny learns that someone else gets attention when he “hits”, so he’ll slowly start to realize that, when he “hits”, the only feedback he receives is someone stating what he did and then giving someone else attention, which is not the feedback he was looking for. And yes, feel free to state facts to another child about that child’s behavior if your child is present. Your child is picking up every tiny thing in their environment and they are picking up on “my caregiver always says x to me when I do y, but that kid did x and no one said anything”.
You asked whether anybody had experience handling tantrums. Take it or leave it.
I’d leave that. 
When you wife acts up, do you throw a drink in her face, too?
Thanks, I leave it. 
Agree to disagree then.
When my kid had tantrums all I could do was wait for her to get tired. Nothing else I tried would work.
Like @nz explains, I think inevitable consequences are probably more effective than punishments. I don’t want to threaten and punish, l want to give choices and explain the consequences. Very important that the consequences materialize, of course.
You can’t work any strategy til the kid is calmed down. Why yell at a kid who is yelling?
I agree with setting boundaries, in this case however, it happened too quickly. Could only react to the fait accompli.
I like your explanations about language as well, and the ineffectiveness of "don’t do … "
Try calming down an adult who is in a rage. It’s not dissimilar. Reason rarely works.
I had an irate student try to force his way into my classroom. Standing in his way, I waited until he took a breath, out of it due to idk sociopathy, I simply said, “ I like your Jordan’s.”
“You wanna steal my shoes, bro?”
“Nah, I have a job. I can buy my own.”
End story. Gentle push out my door. Haven’t seen him in a minute.
Every parent and teacher should read The Art of War.
Keep your enemy off balance.
Distraction techniques are generally the most likely winners.
Sure, I understand that totally. I’m just saying, if he’s figured out how to game the system, that would be worth noting and addressing.
I mean, you can do everything in your power to prepare yourself and your child for everything you think might happen but there will inevitably be moments when it’s most certainly time to go home. I have heard many stories of parents with tons of early childhood and positive discipline career experience who say that if you haven’t abandoned a half-filled cart in the middle of the aisle at Target, carrying your kicking and screaming child straight to the car to go home (we can change it to Carrefour since were in TW ), you haven’t been a parent. Sounds like you dealt with it the best you could.
The use of language is something we can all benefit from. I have absolutely used it with adults. “You’re shaking leg is shaking the table” might come off to some people as passive aggressive, but a quick “can you please stop?” tacked onto the end of it isn’t quite what you’d do with a child (“both feet flat on the floor, please” would be much more clear) but it makes the specific situation clear to everyone and there’s no room for anger/misinterpretation if you name what’s happening first.
The “lizard brain” kicks in and you have little control over your emotions sometimes
I once threw a tantrum in a supermarket. My mother gave me a hard slap, and I never threw one again. But, I grew up to be pretty aggressive. It’s difficult to say if that slap was the cause or there was some other reason.
It’s like it’s difficult to say that the COVID shots that made me sick, actually saved my life when I got it.
I’m a big fan of “natural consequences”, but you do have to model for a child every single thing you want them to do for natural consequences to make sense. They want to sweep the floor? Show them how (and make sure the broom is small enough for them to be able to handle). They whack the dog with the broom because they’re dancing around and not actually sweeping? “You hit the dog with the broom. The dog is hurt. Put the broom away”. (And then show them how to put the broom away if they don’t know how already). They want to pour their own cereal? Again, show them how to carry the bowl, put a bowl in front of them, pick up the box, open it, hold it at the right angle, and slowly pour it, etc. Make sure they are seated/standing in a way that makes it possible. When they inevitably spill, say “you spilled. Clean it up” and show them how to clean it up. If they learn the small natural consequences connected to the language related to what they did that lead to that consequence, they will be able to self regulate and be self-disciplined. But obviously this requires clearly set boundaries too. They need to know what they’re “allowed to do”. If they climb up onto the counter and their caregiver ignored them instead of telling them to “put both feet on the floor immediately”, the caregiver doesn’t have the right to yell at them for being on the counter. Children are constantly trying to understand limits, and they get lost and act “uncontrollably” when adults don’t provide them to them. But a lot of adults don’t know what their own limits are, so they only freak out after the child has gone far beyond what most people consider to be “safe”, at which point a child genuinely doesn’t understand why they’re suddenly being yelled at (or smacked)
I read some posts from you from years back recently. You sounded mellow and patient. Taiwan turned you bad. Not the slaps from your parents.