Желаю всем счастья, здоровья и успехов!
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вы русский?
I used to have one, but I didn’t know what to feed it so it died.
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Have what?
What the OP mentioned 
(It’s a silly private joke. Years ago, my friend, whenever she heard a foreign language that she didn’t understand would say this phrase, like she totally understood what was said.)
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In Soviet Russia, new year celebrate YOU!!!
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I thought you meant you had a Russian and it died.
Vodka deficiency, probably.
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Моё судно на воздушной подушке полно угрей!
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Нет.
Exactly!
You might enjoy songs from soviet movie classics: