Early contender for post of the year. Condolences on the passing of your father in law.
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Iāve never met your wife, but Iāve always secretly thought she sounds very cool. And condolences on the passing of her father.
Donāt mess with Cantonese women! 
Guy
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Did you do a reburial after 7 years?
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I once received a series of increasingly amusing texts from former poster Loretta who was on a mountain in Indonesia helping his wifeās family dig up her grandparents to give them a wash and brush up and share a meal with them.
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Wild stuff
I went to a remembrance thing in China with my ex. I think it was for the three year anniversary of his death. We did the burning of paper money (which said āBank of Hellā in English, and was denominated in the kajillions of dollars), paper cellphones, paper cars, all that crap. No one was allowed to take phones to the cemetery, because ghosts might get in themā¦
We had to fetch grandpaās urn out of this Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade -style building with rows of tall shelves holding hundreds of urns, each in a glass compartment. You need rolling stairs. Grandpaās urn was draped in the Communist flag.
Afterwards we all had to go to a salon and have our hair washed a couple times. The people there seemed to get a kick out of seeing this white guy go through the ritual. Seemed like I was the only white guy they (or many others in China) had ever seen.
But the mood throughout everything was pretty light. I donāt think they really believed in the rituals either. The only person that seemed sad was the widow, who cried all the way there.
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I didnāt but Iām not sure. I donāt think Iād want to do anything like this.
By the way this practice is common in Europe too, because often the space for grave site is limited, so often in the old days the coffin is exhumed and the bone taken out and placed into ossuary. Itās done so the grave space can be used for fresh corpse and keep the grave from filling up permanently.
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Itās typical robotic stuff going through the motions.
Although some people still believe in it I guess . What mystified me was how they paid way more attention to Granny when she was dead than alive !
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Thank you for the detailed account, @Flakman !
Itās interesting to see how different cultures deal with the inevitable end of life event.
Didnāt you had to take part on the cremation ceremony?
I thought that was one important part of the funeral here.
Yes, I took part in cremation ceremony. Basically, a few prayers before cremation and then after delivery of the urn more prayers as start using the memorial plaque which we took to the temple to place there for one year. As mentioned before, the temple is responsible for daily remembrance prayers for the memorial plaques for one yearā¦at that time, the plaque will be taken home to be placed at memorial alter.
Mr Laiās wife was visiting the temple at least every 3-4 weeks to prayer at her husbandās plaque. But then a friend told her was dangerous to go there as so many āsoulsā in that temple where the plaques are stored/placed. So she was reluctant to visit. Then another friend told her she could protect herself by placing certain leaves in her pocketsā¦just like what my wife and I do when going to funerals.
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So they would leave her alone? 
Sorry ā I couldnāt resist! 
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Yeah, no shit. Every time Iām in Hong Kong it amazes me.
I wonder if a neighborās cause of death is suicide if there is any difference in the ceremony
Depends in the group of people. There are no real traditions in Taiwan, itās all a business racket. They are quite happy to do whatever you want if you pay them more. Regardless of religion, even atheists.
Basically itās just a family grieves and wants to justify everything, perhaps wash off their guilt over the years, and move on. The ceremony offers that. In any way, shape or form. There is no one single way. There are thousands, maybe millions, of variances to eat the family feel better about the loss. I suggest just allow the living to let go, the funeral is, after all, all about the living to feel comfortable, despite the fancy bells and made up stories.
Just grieve. Move on.
Ideally discuss with the group how to avoid future guilt. Best time to talk about family dysfunction and work on things in order not to regret later 
touchy subject, no doubt. But donāt sweat too kuch about traditions. Basically be nice, donāt touch the corpse and follow everyone else u til youāre up to snuff with their style of cult ceremony (usually a mix of the company and specific requests)