Waiguoren the dianying

Discussion Open Forum
41

It should start by displaying some quote or other, by some local politician or other, to the effect that foreigners are a “problem.” (Our kids don’t speak Chinese well enough and are confused about their identity, etc.)

The central conceit of the movie could be that sometime awhile back, some of us started actually believing this ourselves, and founded a 12-step group. Maybe there could be (hovering in the background) a portrait of the founder (the "Bill W. analogue) who would be a white guy wearing a Mandarin collar and skullcap, Confucius clothes, something like that.

So now the challenge becomes, what funny things can we do to show how much we’ve assimilated? (Or failed to assimilate?) For instance, the ladies could giggle with their hands over their mouths, fan themselves with paper fans, etc.

Maybe the “newbie” could try to derail everybody by bringing McDonalds food to the meeting, only to see the others slice up the Big Mac, put everything in the middle of the table, and eat little bites using chopsticks.

I have an idea which would be a bit more trouble, but still feasible, I think. Go around to places where there are large groups of different types of foreigners (the mosque? a construction site? some buxiban?) and get each group to sing one or two lines of a song which one of us would have to compose. (I’m thinking of something like that Taiwanese TV beer commercial.) Then splice them together, and we’ve got a catchy…something.

Heh, maybe this could be one of those public-service messages they play before the movies, like “wear condoms” and “don’t beat your wife.”

Another “opening credit” idea would be…well, I keep picturing my six-year-old little friend squeezing a fifty-year-old friend’s big bulbous nose, in a spirit of awe and wonder.

42

Bob, I see you are really getting into this. I’d suggest you guys use babelfish at http://babelfish.altavista.com/ for quick, crude and guaranteed comical English > Chinese translations, no worries about anybody not noticing you’re kidding anymore (on second thought, this, after all, is Taiwan …!). Now, do you need my lamp or what?

43

Jesus - I think I should fess up here and admit that I don’t actually have any idea really how to make a movie. I mean I have certainly “seen” a lot of movies, and I read about them and use them as a basis for ESL classes but that is about it.

I was reading something by a director recently and he said that it is just like telling a story in pictures…For ex. I knew these guys once living in Taipe (shot of guys in identifiable taipei location) who started believing the things that the locals said about them (shot of locals saying that foriegners only want to sleep with a lot of girls, can’t be trusted, speak lousy Chinese, are selfish etc.) (shot of disconcerted foriegners face). They decided to form BA (shot of the BA manifesto rolling out of the printer)…etc. You continue in this way and in the process introduce some characters who need to work together to achieve some goal or overcome some conflict. That motivation drives the action and the action drives the dialogue. Hopefully something is learned by somebody in all of this and it is all presented in an entertaining manner.

That is one way.

The other way is to put some interesting personalities together in a room and film what actually happens between them. This is what I have done before. For example I spent an afternoon smoking pot at an old muscicians house filming the process of him getting his groove back. Later I edited it and threw in some other odd bits. The advantage of this method is that nobody needs to remember lines or act. They just act like themselves. Imagine the sort of wierdness and hilarity that might ensue if we set a bunch of us to work on practicing the kind of manadarin that would be required to have the sort of discussion that would transpire at a BA meeting. This basic footage could then be edited and perhaps some scenes even staged such as you are suggesting. I should tell you though that while I do not know much about film making I do know that everything is about a thousand times more difficult than you expect.

In any case I am certainly happy to have bent the ear of people like you and Xpet. Who knows we may even make something happen here.

Xpet - I suspect that we may need you a lot more than your lamp. Thanks.

44

You got a decent camera? Then you’re set. I mean, go watch “Star Trek: Nemesis” or “Hardball”–you couldn’t do any worse than that!

Another possible approach would be to make this a faux recruiting video for the 12-step group. Where we tell the story of the founder, the group, and give our personal testimonies, etc…

45

Perfect - That would allow us to contrast the interpersonal styles of those who have been through the BA process and those who have not. I guess it would make sense to cast those with better Chinese as BA graduates.

For production purposes maybe we can think of this whole thing as a theme “party” (and all that entails), and then edit it together in some meaningful way later.

I have a pretty old Hi-8 with a broken battery pack. It takes good pictures and captures sound really well but if we want to run it through editing software we need digital software I think. With mine we could edit it on to VHS and then copy that on to VCD but I don’t imagine all of those transfers would do much for the picture quality.

We need to get some of the folks from arts and entertainment working on this thing.

46

It seems like we have developed quite an interesting concept/story line here which I think could be summarized as follows.

  1. A group of foriegners living here begin to see that living in the west they had developed some pretty unhealthy personality characteristics (I can relate).
  2. They form BA and launch a recruitment drive complete with statement of mission/ posters etc.
  3. Meeting is held. Maddness ensues, hopefully maddness that relates to basic concept with “actors” who at least attempt to stay in charcater.
  4. Edit it ala “The Blair Witch Project.”

It might be a little difficult getting all of these concepts across without a voice over so I was thinking we could perhaps have a talking camera man who discusses these ideas with the audience and with his native mandarin sponsor while shooting the film. I would love to have this job actually, number one because I am shy and number two because I love shooting film. Don’t imagine my Chinese is good enough but then I don’t imagine anyone else’s is either.

We need some of the kids from Learning Chinese working on this too.

47

I have a degree in film, and a few movies under my belt, so I believe that this boat is best run by me… :smiley: :bravo:

48

Would love to hear what you think of the concept so far. Thanks.

49

BOb if you are dead serious, we could meet and make it happen…Raise The Roof 1

50

Dead serious might be a bit of an over statement but I am serious enough alright. I like creating things. Something like this cannot be created by one or two people though, and it is a little over my head technically so I am just sort of testing the waters here to see if I can get some creative people interested. So far Jesus has been the one with the goods but I am sure happy to have you on board too. Where do you live?

51

I’ll talk to my band and ask if we could contribute an original song for this movie.

52

Helped are those that create anything at all, for they relive the thrill of their own conception, and realize a partnership in the creation of the universe that keeps them responsible and cheerful.
Alice Walker - poet
i.e, Thanks grashopper.

53

As the movie starts, we hear Sade’s ‘Smooth Operator’. A slick looking foreigner in a suit and tie is in the MRT - the brown line. He gets off, checks his hair and walks down the street as the song continues. Finally, as Sade sings her last ‘Smooth Operator’, he enters his kindergarten classroom and does the ‘Happy Dance’ with the students.
After the ‘Happy Dance’, he’s about to start ‘Snack Time’ when his cell phone rings…
It’s his lover.
The scene instantly switches to…

54

I had a brilliant (I think) documentary idea. It could be called “Taipei Walker.”

Take a camera, walk down the sidewalk. Dodge traffic. Try to weave around the auto shops, fruit stands, potted plants, etc. that somebody put right in the middle. Etc.

Maybe it could end when a motorcycle slams into the camera, so we see one last shot of the brown sky above.

Now that I think about it, I think this should actually be a video game instead of a movie.

55

Seems like our little idea is taking off again so I’ll share with you my recent thoughts on the project…

Oh yeah and one wise forumosan suggested that we just have a party where everybody tries to speak Chinese and film that. Perhaps not a bad idea.

Are you guys familiar with the Dogme 95 school of film making? The basic idea is to avoid all the hassles of scripting and acting by simply placeing dynamic individuals into a situation where some real drama is likely to occur. Film the proceedings, edit it and there’s your movie. I think what we need is some context or other that will bring out some honest involvment and interest. The party idea is agood one but it would need some theme or other to spin off from. Has anybody seen “Icestorm”?

Sinister - “I’m just a Giggolo” might make an entertaining addition to the soundtrack as well.