Hi, Y’all. Just having a moment, thinking of stuff. Boy! This world is turning so fast I’m dizzy.
Well, the Kitten didn’t get into Johns Hopkins. In spite of his grades and test scores, and in spite of being told by many bitter classmates and counselors that he’d get scholarships and into Johns Hopkins just because he’s Asian, he did not. In fact, it’s because he’s Asian and there’s a backlash against too many Asians in elite schools; they’d met their quota. No kidding.
Then I was was diagnosed, about two weeks before he graduated, with cancer. He graduated, turned 18, and became a man all in about a week. And he just turned 19 last month. It’s been a hell of a year.
This ManKitten earned a full ride at my alma mater, started as a sophomore because he’d earned enough college credit in high school, and made the dean’s list his first semester. This is in spite of all that happened last year, and also working full time to care for us.
I only finished my last school year because it was late May when I had my surgery, so the year was almost out. I can’t work now and I’m on disability.
Because I couldn’t work, I could no longer pay rent, so I moved us into my beautiful best friend’s dinning room until we could work out our own housing again. He was sleeping on their living room sofa. They’re a family of five with the mother-in-law in residence, many pets plus our two, and us. It was a real circus.
And I was undergoing radiation treatments at the time, and half way through chemo.
He pays the rent and bills. I cover the car, phone, and internet expenses (auto insurance for a teen male is CRAZY). We share food expenses.
He has held me while I cried from sheer pain. Shaved my head as I wept when the chemo took my hair. He has cleaned after me when the chemo and radiation caused me to be ill. He as learned to cook (kinda) to help me eat after surgery when I couldn’t even walk, and brought me expensive treats when the medicine and treatments took away my apatite to tempt me into getting some nutrients.
And he has moved everything we own, alone, several times now. Has cleaned the house. Has run every errand. After surgery, when I had to have daily injections for a couple weeks, he gave them to me because I hate needles and just couldn’t do it myself.
He’s acing chemistry and calculous, and “easy” classes, working as many hours as he can find, and is constantly exhausted. I beg him to go out with friends, take up a hobby (He wants to learn guitar and is a very talented bass singer). He tells me that I’m his happy thing, the most important person in his life, and he’s protecting me, and that’s all he wants to do now.
He’s currently applying for summer internships, and I really want that for him. It will mean I’m alone while he’s gone, but he needs the break so much and it would really do him good to NOT have to care for me, at least physically, for a while.
As for me, my body is exhausted. It does not function as it did before and doesn’t look the same. I’m going through a lot, I guess, and I don’t want to go into it too much here. I can mover about this house. I can do simple cooking, sometimes, but not always. I can do laundry, but it takes hours. I can’t visit Taiwan now, or really anywhere because of my suppressed immune system, but I’m thrice vaxxed. I’ll start physical therapy soon and am getting stronger, but very slowly.
In a million years I could not have guessed how this would work out. Just thought I’d try to update because everything in the world is so different than I imagined. Urodacus’ photo up there could be of Ukraine today.
And I want to tell the entire world how proud I am of my kid. His entire life, time after time, he has exceeded my highest expectations. I respect the man he has so swiftly become, and I genuinely like and admire the person he is and has always been.
