So, I’ve lived in this building for almost three years. Two of the three guards (they do nothing except process mail, etc, and get minimum wage). Two are very friendly and helpful, and the third is a right prick. Tries to speak English with me when others are around, and I humor him – he has basic skills. However, one-on-one, he’s a prick. Abrupt and rude. I’ve had enough. So recently I’ve pretended to be on my phone and spoke curse words while looking at him. Another time I’ve used Chinese to say “Yeah, I’m report him to the company, I have his picture and he should not treat guests in this way.” So far, fake calls. Should I confront him directly or let the company know? (Full info: he did help me get the apartment for a cheaper price when I moved in. Thus he knows my landlord. My place isn’t exactly tidy, by the way, which he probably knows.) Just wish he would stop being the most idiotic and disrespectful person I know. Damn near everyone else respects me as a human (or even better “教師您好”…) 差很多
Something doesn’t add up here. If he helped you with you apartment negotiations, why would he now be doing this? Presumably there was some event that caused this situation, if you were on speaking terms before?
Is he an asshole with others? If it’s just you he has a problem with, it would be worth finding out why. Exactly what does he do that you find abrupt and rude? Are you sure he’s not just having communication problems?
Good question. 1. He got paid by my landlord for his “services” and owes me nothing. 2. I’ve seen him arguing angrily with other tenants (not sure the issue, but probably the new charge on leaving garbage for them to help us throw their garbage on the garbage truck; that was the rudest he acted towards me, since I asked him what the “小包 10元，大包 20元” meant. He answered me rudely that this was the charge for the security guards helping us dispose of garbage. I said it was a wise plan, and could I leave garbage in the morning, as I often work late. He was not so fond of the idea.) 3. I have truly not understood the crap English he tried to speak to me when others were around. I showed genuine confusion in these contexts. But I’ve tried my best to interact with him. When we two are alone, all is in Chinese and without 10% of the respect the other two guards show me (even addressing me as 教授). I hope this puts things in context.
Let’s give him the benefit of the doubt for the time being. I’ll try not to do my mind games with him, let’s just see.
@tempogain, thanks for the topic’s title edit. I tried to be polite, but should have been more diligent. Again, Thanks?!
No worries. We try to keep the titles clean. @hole is pretty mild I guess, but not everyone of our diverse membership wants to stare at it 
There’s this guy who irritates me. What advice would you give?
Got it! The change is more accurate anyways! By the way. Regarding the security guard topic, I’m not so angry as hurt. The other two guards would have given me the same information, but in polite ways. I don’t expect everyone to address me as 教授 (although the other two guards tend to), but I expect respectful intonation. This is one of the reasons I opened this topic.
BD, you have to admit that seeing this “guy” every day makes a difference. If you want MY advice, good or bad, please leave me a private message. Otherwise, your question is too general for my advice . BD is a clear poop stirrer. Your future contributions should be evaluated. Otherwise, you already kids
Fair point.
Did I see you on the bus from Nankan to Taipei today?
Did you give some 紅包 at CNY?
Definitely not, since you were not likely waiting at the door of my building to sign off for my postal package and answering my questions regarding the newly posted signs at my front gate. Is that clear enough, 情愛的阿伯？
Excellent point! In 台南 I gave them cartons of smokes. Was told NOT to give gifts at this building. I have given ALL of them tea, cakes, etc. and on a regular basis. I’ve been nothing other than a model tenant
My guesses:
- You did something (or didn’t do something) which you aren’t aware of, or didn’t think anything of, which this 阿伯 saw as a slight. Maybe he thinks you were rude for not understanding his English.
- He’s just the standard jealous type who sees someone at home twice as much as he is but earning 8x the salary, and he probably thinks you don’t earn it but just get it because you’re white.
I’m confused. Has he been rude to you in some tangible way, or do you just not like his tone of voice? I sort of feel like the problem here is yours, not his.
Regardless, your passive-aggressive attacks on him are just gonna make an enemy for no reason. Smile and be friendly, and get on with your business.
Soft skills are very hard to learn and use.
I appreciate that either or both of you explanations have merit. This particular 阿伯 is consistenty rude (in the absence of anyone else) and overly talkative in broken English in the presence of ANYONE who understands ANY English. I believe he’s a racist, but can’t prove it.
I’m pretty conscious of status, etc… So, it’s unachievable
Best advice so far. We all have bad days!
You won’t like this, but your tone here is angry and arrogant. Cursing at someone while pretending to be on the phone is a sign that you need to do some reflection. I hope you feel better soon.
Do the other tenants complain about him? Our doormen are good for the most part, but when we have a bad one they usually gets enough complaints that they get replaced pretty quickly. Are there regular council meetings in which you could connect with your fellow residents and bring this up? I’d try that route. I will say being a doorman is a pretty thankless and monotonous and even soul-crushing job. Irregular 12 hour shifts, sometimes over night, where you’re just staring at CCTV screens or the front door… and you might get paid even less than the teenage clerk at the local Family Mart. It’s often old guys who can’t get a job anywhere else who rely on a doorman gig just to make ends meet. I’d speak to fellow residents and his fellow doorman to get across your displeasure to see if they can speak to him or pressure him to change his ways. Beyond that, I’d let it slide as much as I could, unless the guy was actively harassing me. Just my 2 cents.