This one time, I shagged this bird in the chemistry lab and we almost got caught because one of us turned on the gas for the bunsen burner by mistake and we both passed out with no clothes on.
More than 30 years ago – time sure flies. 
I never did anything wrong…I was/am a geek. 
Um, this one time, at band camp my senior year in high school, my friends and I took advantage of our band director being totally bombed (he came and rambled to us for over half an hour around the campfire, reeking of alcohol, before heading to his cabin to pass out). Five girls on one golf cart, racing for the boys’ side of camp like our lives depended on it (and boy did they!). One of the boys’ counselor’s caught us just as we got off the cart and chased us back to the girls’ cabins. All the underclassmen were in bed, but got up to listen to us running and laughing from this overweight first-year alum loser.
New Year’s Eve that year (also senior year), my best friend and I decided after being kicked out of a party (the boy’s mommy said no girls after 1am), to take her convertible to another party across town. After about a block, we decided to take off our tops and shout “Happy New Year” at every single car we passed. Mind you, this was Ohio in January…and there was still some snow on the ground. Then we got to the party which consisted of five guys, lots of booze, and no parents…er, um it’s a just little bit more innocent than this is leading up to…nevermind the impromptu wet tee-shirt contest one of the guys decided to have by tossing a glass of water at me to see if he could see through my top.
And these fine gentlemen were my teammates from the Academic Quiz Team and also from Chess Club.
Then this other time in university while I was studying abroad in France, I got too pissed to get home alone so I had the guy from my university, who I was seeing at the time, make sure I got back to my host family’s house safe. The only thing was, he was in the beginner’s French program so he didn’t know enough French to be able to get back to his host family’s place so he wound up having to crash in my little bed until the morning when he could catch a bus (around 6am). Again, nothing really happened, but he did manage to get out of the house without being caught by my host parents who surely would have skinned me alive.
And of course there was that one poker party my junior year of uni that was so infamous, freshmen were coming up to me in the dining halls and asking me for details for weeks after…
I blackmailed my 11th grade teacher for an A+…
My bedroom looked out onto the street. I was doing my homework when I saw her shitty Celebrity pull up into my friend’s driveway, he lived across the street. His parents were at his hockey game, but his 19 year old brother was home, a student of the same school… She got out of the car and I hopped into action. Grabbed my camera and got a shot of her car and his house. Waited until she got out of the house, got a pic of her leaving the house too, looking dishelved.
Monday morning went to class and asked to see her after class…showed her my essay and gave her a peek at the photos…she freaked. Asked me what I wanted. I said given the severity of what she did, she could give me an A+ and we would forget the incident… She agreed I got my A+ and we were all happy.
I once dropped my packed lunch on the playground and spent the next 10 minutes picking gravel out of my sandwiches. Most upsetting really.
Oh, if we’re going back to elementary school…back in the first or second grade I convinced everybody on the playground that I could speak Spanish. After ‘uno, dos, tres, gracias’ I just started babbling nonsense.
Reminds me of when we put crazy glue on all the toilet seats in the girl’s restroom. Didn’t stick around long enough to find out if someone used the toilet seats before they dried. I hope no one did as that would have been seriously painful!
One day, my senior year, a friend and I decided to skip a day of school and go to the parking area for the dead show. Should have never did that. We ended up scoring 4 sheets (100 hits each) of sunshine acid for only $50 which was an amazing deal. So the next month and a half was nothing but one big acid trip. Complete debauchery I tell you.
We then proceeded to take acid every two days for the next month and a half. So we wouldn’t be up late and my parents wouldn’t bust us (his parents were to straight-laced to every notice a thing, but my parents were ex-hippies so they would know) we would dose every morning before school during the week and every weekend we would go camping in the mountains. And during this time we maintained our 4.0 grade point average, with mine being perfect until I got suspended for 45 days later on that year, but that is a completely different story (not drug related). French class was a blast!
My favorite skip stories:
I skipped the last three periods and a detention one day in 11th grade because I told the school secretary my bra strap broke and only my best friend could drive me home so I could get it fixed. We spent the rest of the day hanging out at the park.
My high school used to have a special little pink card for when you had to leave in the middle of the day to show which periods you would miss. My friends and I would forge excuse notes from our parents for doctor’s appointments right outside the office, then walk in and claim we had forgotten to give them when we first got to school. Because of us, the last months of my senior year they passed a rule that you had to turn the notes in at the beginning of the day or else not be allowed to leave.
Also with those pink cards, they had the periods at the bottom (1,2,3, etc up to 7) and the secretary would circle the ones you missed upon leaving and returning. Well, 5th period, lunch, was always band so we had 90-minutes there and was obviously our favorite skip period, especially on orchestra days when only the kiss-ass winds had to play. Sometimes, however, we needed a 2-1/2 hour lunch break so we would adjust our pink cards accordingly to show an excused absence for 4th period. My 4th period class was AP American History with the coach of the girl’s golf team who was actually pretty cool despite being a history teacher. I had erased and rewritten the date on the card so much, though, that it finally had a small hole worn in it. One day she asked to see my card for missing the prior day, put on her glasses, examined it carefully (hole, smudges, wrinkles, and all), and handed it back to me with a smile.
By the time my senior year rolled around, they stopped the open lunch policy for seniors so we had to stay on the campus…or so they said. One day, a group of us decided to go out for lunch so we all piled into my best friend’s two-door dodge and the six of us (two in the front, four in the back) started off the campus, granted it’s a pretty big campus with its own traffic light at the entrance at the top of the hill which is rarely green. As we began the climb, we saw a car had been pulled over and one of the assistant principals was with the three passengers who were all standing around. The light was still red. As we got closer, the light turned green and my friend hit the gas. When we got closer, she blew the horn and we all shouted “ha, ha” as we left the school. The look on the ass. principal’s face was priceless.
Apparently, though, he had alerted the band ass. director who was waiting for us at the back doors to the student parking lot. One of the underclassmen shouted, “Shit, it’s Ms. Hoevel!” And we all split up, running to different exits, which she had locked. Then she bragged about catching us and said that she’d punish us later, but we wouldn’t know how until she did it. At the end of the year, she gave each of us a letter that said our punishment was making us worry about when she would punish us.
:wanker:
In one of my first experiments with illegal substances…
A friend got a hold of a BAG of magic mushrooms. We had no idea how to eat them, or “do” them so we held on to them, planning on a big night sometime in the future.
So, same friend has other friends who have a cabin in the woods. We figure it’s a perfect chance for the “Big Night.” She’s a good cook so once we get there, we start making magic mushroom pasta, magic musroom salad, magic mushroom you-get-the-idea.
Anyway, time goes by and neither of us had any idea what to expect. Everything felt normal. Then…
We got really loopy and she finds two pairs of snowshoes (I had never even seen a pair before!) so we get them on our feet and head out into the woods.
Eventually, we come to a clearing and this rabbit hops up to us. We’re freaked out and keep checking to see if each other is seeing this. So, we start playing with the rabbit and figure it must somehow “sense” that we’re friendly.
The moon was incredibly bright and all of it felt magical – as though we’d entered a Disney movie.
Then we just laughed and laughed, rolled around and laughed some more.
A little later on, I looked up at the incredibly bright moon only to discover that it was a light!
Beside the light was a porch.
On the porch were members of a family watching us make asses of ourselves in their yard with their pet rabbit.
Who knew you could leave so hastily on a pair of snowshoes?
When I was at boarding school in 1973/74 there was one kid in the 2nd year dorms who was always pinching money, batteries, pencils, and other gear from our dorm lockers. He, I, and another guy used to have to clean the piano teachers room and the adjoining hall where we watched movies.
I stole the teachers twelve dollar pay packet ( lot of $$ in 1973/4) and planted it down this thieving kids socks, in his locker.
The teacher noticed her purse was open and the $$ missing and the 3 of us got hauled before the prefect, dorm master and the headmaster. Of course we all denied stealing the money and I was looking guilty as hell even though I said I never took it.
We had our lockers searched and the money was found. Corporal punishment was known as the cuts. The Brothers have a one inch thick leather strap, you get whacked 3 times on each hand or 6 on one hand. No matter how tough you think you are… you cry. One of the Brothers would get you on the back of the fingers on the way back up with the strap too… catholic schools love their punishments.
The thief was finally expelled, after getting six of the best on both hands.
I’ve always felt rotten about doing that ( later on anyways ), even though it seemed like a good idea at the time.
It was a cool summer day and we were trying to start an old motorbike without success. We pulled the cap off the tank to see if it had enough gas. We could hear it but we could not see it. It was too dark inside the tank. In a suicidal instinct, my cousin reached for a packet of matches and proceeded to insert two matches inside the tank in an attempt to illuminate the situation. Yes, he did. That’s when my older brother’s survival instinct kicked in. He pushed my cousin out of the way but BOOM. Only my brother got burned lightly but I dislocated my shoulder when they landed on me.
We never got that one started.
Wow.
You only waited 16 years to dig up a post about 30 years flying by? 
Sheesh, attention spans these days. 
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Bored and drinking last night. I need to stop doing that. The drunken postings I mean. Not the drinking.