I practiced with chopsticks to get used to them before moving to Taiwan, for the last 33 years.
Yes, eating yellow tomatoes will help me lose weight. If I only eat yellow tomatoes for the next month and give up all other food.
No, I do not have children.
“why?”
Because I am only 32 and that is way too young.
Me: Wo qu XXX, you yidian gan shijian, mafan jinliang kuai.
Taxi Driver: Wa, nide Zhongwen haohao a.
Me: Meiyou, cai buhui…
TD: Ni zhu Taiwan duojiu?
Me: Taiwan bushi weiyi neng xue Zhongwen de difang. [I used to say how long I’d lived there, but they inevitably followed with “Nanguai nide Zhongwen name hao!”]
TD: A?
Me: Hen duo ren yiwei zhiyou Taiwan cai neng xue Zhongwen, dan qishi zheyang de gainian shi cuode.
The drivers usually shut up at this point.
I literally could have that conversation in my sleep. A couple times, I was half nodding off while going through that formula.
Once, in my entire eight years in Taiwan, a cab driver asked “How long have you studied Chinese?” instead of “How long have you lived in Taiwan?” Right before I left, too – like some kind of weird parting gift.
Occasional drivers would still ask how long I’d studied, at which point I’d say it depends on how you count. Do you count high school years as full years? Do you count years living in Taiwan and learning but not studying? Very few were curious enough to continue the conversation at this point.
“Wo zai Taiwan san ge yue. Wo hai mei xuexi zhongwen keshi wo kan Taiwan de dian shi mei tian.”
(I’ve lived in Taiwan for three months. I haven’t studied Chinese yet, but I watch Taiwanese television every day.)
…nothing wrong with a little fudging every now and again. Excuse any mistakes in my Chinese. The one year of being a bad student of Chinese way back in 2000 is such a distant memory and didn’t equip me enough to actually use the language (as I soon learned upon arriving in Taiwan a year later).
Ma! Ba! Kan! Waiguoren!
Some kids may say this.
(Mommy! Daddy! Look! A foreigner!)
You could say:
Bu shi waiguoren! (It’s not a foreigner)
Wo shi waixingren! (I’m an alien!)
It’s cute to see the look on their faces afterwards.
You just might give it at try.
No, I have not been to the doctor. It’s just a cold.
[quote=“dargus”]Ma! Ba! Kan! Waiguoren!
Some kids may say this.
(Mommy! Daddy! Look! A foreigner!)
You could say:
Bu shi waiguoren! (It’s not a foreigner)
Wo shi waixingren! (I’m an alien!)
It’s cute to see the look on their faces afterwards.
You just might give it at try.[/quote]
Or point back and scream “Er dz! Ni kan! Junguoren!!!”
(son, look, a Chinese person!!!)
did you DRINK A LOT OF WATER though?
Next time you here “wai guo ren” from local kids try saying the following: “she gow ing ah.” I have no idea how to properly romanize Taiwanese. Just use English phonics to read those words. You will be, in effect, calling them little monkeys in Taiwanese. It’s a great comeback and it’s not rude or offensive. The kids’ll love it.
[quote=“dargus”]Ma! Ba! Kan! Waiguoren!
Some kids may say this.
(Mommy! Daddy! Look! A foreigner!)
You could say:
Bu shi waiguoren! (It’s not a foreigner)
Wo shi waixingren! (I’m an alien!)
It’s cute to see the look on their faces afterwards.
You just might give it at try.[/quote]
or:
Wo bu shi waiguoren! (I’m not a foreigner).
Ni shi waiguoren. (You’re a foreigner).
You don’t???
Wookie, good one. I tried it on the MRT with a kid trying to show off in front of his friends. Je ne parle pas Anglais. and for good measure I throw in a Piesay. Now he don’t know what’s what??? Then I pulled out the english paper.
Now my chinese is non-good. But my response-juste to “Ni shi meiguoren ma?” is now (in Taiyu) Wa xi Hsing Taiwan ren hen wa xi lo mua. Then I pull out my phone a fake a call.
Hsing Taiwanren is a term coined by A-bien meaning new taiwanese. Lo mua is taiyu for gangster. If the perfect partner is with me, I’ll tell him she’s wo de tai guai de tai mei…a nice soupy mix of Taiyu and Mandarin…literally she is my too expensive gangster girl.
For those of us non-good attempters of chinese, it might help if you provided translations. I may understand what you are saying. This has long been a pet peeve of mine about u 'umosans and your fancy HanYu Pinyin or whatever…please provide the English, I can even learn from it if you do.
ToePouts
Don’t mind my cantakerousness. I am spoiling for a fight in the ChitCHat thread now that I have settled my insurance claim. And its bleeding thru into here.
ToeApologizes
Try “wa xi xin daiwanlang” for all Taiwanese. It’s pretty easy to say and remember, because it’s very close to the Mandarin.
Brian
Try “wa xi xin daiwanlang” for all Taiwanese. It’s pretty easy to say and remember, because it’s very close to the Mandarin.
Brian[/quote]
Gam shia li
Some gems from my deep conversations with random people who I had known for a couple of minutes by the time they asked their questions.
Being a German:
It is nice that you know Hitler.
No, I don’t like Hitler.
No, Germans don’t like Hitler and he is not a hero there.
Yes, German Autobahn is nice.
No, I don’t like beer.
No, I don’t like soccer.
No, I don’t eat Eisbein.
No, I have never been to Oktoberfest.
No, I don’t drive BMW/Mercedes and don’t intend to buy one.
Being a Westerner:
Yes, I sweat more than you, so what?
Yes, I take a shower every day.
Yes, I do have more body hair than you, and no, you may not pull it.
No, this doesn’t mean I am more closely related to monkeys than you.
No, Westerners are not off-spring of Neanderthalers, we belong to Homo sapiens just like you.
Yes, I love my girlfriend and she loves me.
No, I don’t plan to have a German girlfriend in the future.
We may have kids in the future and no, I don’t value your opinion on mixed-race children.
…and many many more.