My situation is a little unique. I’ve got four, the eldest, my tween, goes to school in the US and is in the care of family; the three younger ones are here and range in age from 10 months to seven years. I’ve had a live in since September and before we hired her, we had a part time person for about 3 months.
Spack, I’ve been to the movies once in four+ years but that’s okay since I like being able to pause the video and run to the kitchen or bathroom anyway, .
Now that we have a live in and I do part time work from home, I can’t say that we’re the only ones raising our children. I count on my nanny a great deal but I have to say that having time away from my kids does a lot to keep me sane. There was a time when I felt like I’d completely lost myself to being a wife and mother. Now, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I can work from home and feel like I’m contributing something financially, even if it’s not as much as my husband does, and I have the flexibility to go to the park, the zoo, or just not work at all. Especially nice when someone is sick.
To be honest, when my husband was telling me to start looking for help as we were expecting the birth of our fourth (and he works a lot), I was being very stubborn about wanting to do everything myself. It took one meltdown at 7pm, with the newborn in the sling, first grader in the tub, and 2 year old crying for my attention, with homework and stories and bedtime and vacuuming and dishes to deal with (while dear husband was at work and not expected to return until 10pm) for me to realize that another set of hands might not be such a bad thing after all.
Everyone’s situation is different though, and I truly admire my friends who work full time jobs and still manage to raise intelligent, loving, confident children.
Kudos braxtonhicks. You sound like a supermom. Actually come to think of it, my mom raised three often-naughty boys. It must be hard. I’m exhausted with one.
Hobart, your situation sounds great. I wish my wife’s family lived closer. Her mother took the train up from Chiayi and spent the past couple of days with us, because our regular nanny was unavailable on Friday. It worked out great. In fact, I was almost jealous because, while our baby obviously enjoys my wife and me, granny seemed to get bigger smiles. She obviously did a great job during the first month. Plus, she cleaned our apt and cooked great meals for us. . . and she’s free. If the opportunity arises in the future, she’s definitely welcome to return.
I think you know how the shark husband I do it, we have an elderly Taiwanese gal who comes to our home during the days and then we take care of the baby(s) at night/weekends. I have no doubt that in our home the primary caregiver is the kids’ Emah, but she loves them as if they were her own grandkids. We have been very blessed with her. Now that we are moving, she will be staying her in taiwan and I will be working from home. even so, we plan on a live in in Singapore (they are easier to get approval for and cheaper there than here (go figure!))… but I plan on being there at least for a while…
I think you know how the shark husband I do it, we have an elderly Taiwanese gal who comes to our home during the days and then we take care of the baby(s) at night/weekends. I have no doubt that in our home the primary caregiver is the kids’ Emah, but she loves them as if they were her own grandkids. We have been very blessed with her. Now that we are moving, she will be staying her in Taiwan and I will be working from home. even so, we plan on a live in in Singapore (they are easier to get approval for and cheaper there than here (go figure!))… but I plan on being there at least for a while…[/quote]
Exercise caution, do research, and be very methodical in your search for a good nanny in Singapore. For some reason, I find that more people have problems with their domestic help in the
Ok, I think my baby may be experiencing the first trauma of being raised by a nanny. I drop her off every morning before work and pick her up every day after work. Two days ago, I brought her home, lifted her out of the stroller, and suddenly she started screaming and crying like I have never heard her before. Immediately, I held her close, began burping her, talking to her, walking around the apartment, turned the lights low and put on soft music without putting her down, but she continued screaming for an hour, till her face was red, she was drenched in sweat and she was clearly exhausted. Eventually she calmed enough that my wife could give her a tit and she fell asleep.
The screaming wasn’t due to hunger or need for a diaper change and it was much more sudden and intense than those types of complaints. I began wondering if the nanny was doing something wrong. So the next day (yesterday), my wife picked her up, first going inside to see if she was happy at nanny’s house. According to my wife all seemed to be just fine, the baby was laughing and smiling. But on the way home suddenly she erupted into the same kind of screaming, crying fit. After trying unsuccessfully to console her, my wife handed the baby to me and I performed the same burping, rocking routine for well over an hour before she finally passed out.
It could be intestinal gas or some other physical pain, but I doubt it, because it was so sudden and intense. My wife called her mother and was directed to take an article of the baby’s clothing to the temple for a blessing, which she did last night, but I’m a little sceptical of that.
My guess is that it’s separation anxiety. I haven’t looked that up yet in our baby books, but I recall reading about that. If that’s what it is, I guess it’s because the baby is perfectly happy and content with the nanny and perfectly happy and content with us. But it’s the back and forth that is suddenly distressing her. Suddenly (at 3.5 months old) she is old enough to recognize her surroundings and to understand that she is being taken away from her nanny (who sort of resembles her grandma who she enjoys), but not old enough to understand that it’s only temporary. So she finds the separation traumatic. That’s just my armchair analyst opinion. Has anyone else had a similar experience?
I used to scream if my mother disappeared behind a wall. I think it took me over a year to get over it. Sounds like you’ve only got 9 more months to go.
Yes, Imaniou, I think that’s it. Separation anxiety is apparently common, although, according to a book I looked at last night it usually starts at age 6 - 9 mos. When mom or dad leaves, the baby thinks they’ll never return. I guess ours started early, and it’s nanny who she’s afraid will never return. We avoided the problem yesterday by my wife and I both going into the nanny’s house and holding and talking to our daughter for a while before leaving her house, to create a transition between the two environments. We’ll do the same today and Friday. It’s always something.
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You sound like a supermom. Actually come to think of it, my mom raised three often-naughty boys. It must be hard. I’m exhausted with one.
:help: