Naturally, living in Taipei, we have the normal assortment of baldheaded grannies, retarded kids in PJs, glue sniffing maniacs, etc.
But my favourite neighbor is Jesse.
Jesse packed up and left Taiwan in the late 90’s and relocated, with his wife, to Dallas. Not long after, he was making a freaking fortune installing central air systems with a crew of illegals. The world was his oyster. Texas oyster, the big ones.
Alas, as so often happens, avarice got the better of Jess. He figured he could make some REAL dinero, so he goes and gets his pilot’s licence, leases a Cessna or something, and starts an Air Coyote service, flying in planeloads of alambristas.
Sure enough, he gets his ass busted and INS gives him the Bum’s You-Know-What with a side of Don’t Come Back.
So he’s back in Taipei.
Nowadays you can see him cruising around the ‘hood on one of them pig iron Chinese rimgrinders in his flip flops, usually with a 2/3 empty bottle of Antlerwine sticking out of his shorts’ cargo pocket.
He’s likely to stop and bum a smoke and shoot the breeze with you in his near-perfect English, cussing out passersby in street Mexican.