Naturally, living in Taipei, we have the normal assortment of baldheaded grannies, retarded kids in PJs, glue sniffing maniacs, etc.
But my favourite neighbor is Jesse.
Jesse packed up and left Taiwan in the late 90’s and relocated, with his wife, to Dallas. Not long after, he was making a freaking fortune installing central air systems with a crew of illegals. The world was his oyster. Texas oyster, the big ones.
Alas, as so often happens, avarice got the better of Jess. He figured he could make some REAL dinero, so he goes and gets his pilot’s licence, leases a Cessna or something, and starts an Air Coyote service, flying in planeloads of alambristas.
Sure enough, he gets his ass busted and INS gives him the Bum’s You-Know-What with a side of Don’t Come Back.
So he’s back in Taipei.
Nowadays you can see him cruising around the ‘hood on one of them pig iron Chinese rimgrinders in his flip flops, usually with a 2/3 empty bottle of Antlerwine sticking out of his shorts’ cargo pocket.
He’s likely to stop and bum a smoke and shoot the breeze with you in his near-perfect English, cussing out passersby in street Mexican.
Antler wine, eh?
I tried that once. Puked it back out in 10 minutes.
Told the wife some story about it being ‘good for men’…lu rong and all that.
I didn’t mix with the 2 bottles of Chilean Cab that I had first (1st) I guess.
I have some pretty good neighbors on the cul de sac (dead-end alley) where I live. Mostly old…as in 70+ yrs with a few grand-kids in the mix. They speak Tai Yu and Nipponese mostly with some Mando grudgingly thrown in when required.
A few old Army/Air Force guys, retired Colonels and such. They are good for a free drinking lunch every month. Their english is pretty good. One of them is pretty darn well-off financially. He somehow was “given” a lot of real-estate when he retired and has done very well with it. Funny enough, he looks like a bum most of the time (I mean a Taiwan bum) and is in the process for the last 3 years of “Moving to the Temple.” But he still likes to have some beers, some wine (Cabernet) and the occasional bottle of Scotch. So that "be like Buddha’ thing is still in the planning stage.
The old guy across the street is a retired police chief. His wife paints lovely watercolors. They’re good gardeners and try to help out where its needed. Perfect neighbors.
I hate my neighbors. They all bitch and complain about my music at any opportunity, but feel quite justified in drilling, hammering, screeching and banging in the early hours of Saturday and Sunday morning.
Still getting to know my neighbours. Been pretty quite after I cussed out the poor folks across the road. There is one sexy young lady who lives a few houses down, but you hardly ever see her. I think her mum or granny is our “recycle lady”.
My landlord is pretty cool, but he doesn’t live here, so he’s not exactly a neighbour.
Then there’s the old bloke and his Filipino help-maid. He looks pretty nice, but doesn’t talk much. He’s wheelchair bound, wheezes and coughs all the time and I hear him moan at odd hours when I’m on the computer. I don’t think he’s long for this world, but I reckon he would’ve been interesting over a glass or two of gaoliang a decade or so ago.
To be honest, other than garbage truck time, my neighbours pretty much keep themselves to themselves. I like that. So do I.
Some trees, my pool, pond and a few stars. Half way around the world from stinking, dirty, rummy, puss soaking, Taiwan. I still might hear those neighbors in my head. GRRR>
My neighbours cool? Impossible! They are are ALL rich, well qualified, the I-am-oh-so-important-Science Park-engineer-with-Master-degree-from-America-university type. Uneducated twats!
Cool? The gas guy is cool. The guy fixing my scooter is cool. The couple from the mom and pop shop is cool. The lady at the beef noodle shop is cool. The laoban at the breakfast store is cool.
[quote=“Anubis”]My neighbours cool? Impossible! They are are ALL rich, well qualified, the I-am-oh-so-important-Science Park-engineer-with-Master-degree-from-America-university type. Uneducated twats!
Cool? The gas guy is cool. The guy fixing my scooter is cool. The couple from the mom and pop shop is cool. The lady at the beef noodle shop is cool. The laoban at the breakfast store is cool.
Nope, not MY neighbours.[/quote]
Yeah, one of the reasons we’ve lived on the same lane for a dozen years is that it’s a nice, reasonable upper-blue-collar demographic. If I had to live near the fuckin pukes I work with all day I’d have been doing hard time for dickicide years ago…
