Oxytocin 
3 Likes
Aye, for real. And we are a product of millions of years of it, no matter what we think.
And when a baby laughs it triggers a dopamine response in us.
The year in your life when you are most likely to be murdered is between zero and one. Evolution has some loopholes.
1 Like
And what does the screaming trigger? Cortisol?
I stand corrected. Oxytocin reduced the level of infanticide.
1 Like
we call that hybrid vigor. the elder generation still respects that genetic fact 
but Istillthink we are just being polite. little fat blobs of shitting, pissing, puking, noise and and lack of basic bodily function like movement aren’t really all that. It’s no wonder we evolved big brains in order to kill everything around us, we are born as appetizers to the rest of nature!
1 Like
I think you just described my cats.
2 Likes
I dare not disrespect a person’s cat. you guys take that serious. not looking to end up in a river. babies are fair game.
Nice thread, gone horribly askew. 
Evolutionary benefits of not eating children certainly falls into the remit of why are Asian babies cute.
1 Like
the fuck it doesn’t!
5 Likes
Are you sure you’re the father?
6 Likes
I’ve never heard any parent, mother or father, claim their baby’s shit doesn’t stink. I’ve heard many, many horror stories about the stink.
what it is, is infant poops on only breast milk doesn’t smell bad relative to when they get on solid food, and you get somewhat used to it so it’s not so bad. and early poops are less stinky - something about gut bacteria.
edit: and in extra bad cases, parents may have gone nose blind. 
3 Likes
that’s a good one! 
but in reality I am with poundsand.
parents are either blind in love or liars. shit stinks, its nasty and there is no glorifying it! it is just a reality we must deal with. I love my children to death, but that doesn’t mean I need to lie about how their shit dont stink! or puke, or whatever goo they stick their fingers into!
anyone that likes the smell of childrens fecal matter might need a visit from a social worker…
2 Likes
And what a lovely couple you make. 
4 Likes
damn…
3 Likes
Can’t say I’ve ever felt the urge to munch on a baby — although I do vaguely associate Rococo cherubs in paintings with ham sandwiches.
I didn’t used to be particularly interested in infants in their bug-eyed, boneless, pre-verbal phase, but one day it occurred to me that babies (something about their ballistics, or was it the jumpsuits?) were actually rockets that just didn’t know it yet. Since then I’ve reenacted various missions with babies I’ve managed to get my hands on (starting with the countdown and engine rumble on the baby launchpad and ending with a parachute touchdown/shuttle landing/feet first SpaceX landing). Babies love it - as soon as you get them on the launchpad they stop crying - they go from naughty to cosmonauty. Favourite reenactments include Gagarin’s flight (Poehali!), Apollo 13 (Whitney Houston, we have a problem), and Apollo 11 with a moonwalk on the nearest chest of drawers etc (One small step for Baby, one giant leap for Babykind). Obviously I don’t reenact the Challenger disaster or Vladimir Komarov’s doomed flight.
3 Likes
Bad parent! Bad!
Helen Sharman tripping over with the Olympic torch? Tim Peake vomiting when he smelled the earth again? Two classic moments for British Astronauts. And that’s before we start on the sexy murdering astronaut in America last year.
At least one astronaut must have eaten a baby by now.
1 Like
Stop it, you are making me hungry.
2 Likes
