Why did the Chicken cross the road?

What is Truth? (Adapted from Why did the Chicken cross the road?):

Kindergarten teacher: To get to the other side.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

Bill Clinton: I’ve met so many chicks. I can’t remember.

BILL GATES: eChicken2003 will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, balance your checkbook - and internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken.

COLONEL SAUNDERS (founder of KFC): Did I miss one?

Darwin: Chickens over great periods of time have been naturally selected in such a way that they are genetically disposed to cross the roads.

Deng Xiao Ping: A chicken that crosses the road is a good chicken regardless of whether it is a black or white chicken.

MARX: It was an historic inevitability.

EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

Machiavelli: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why?? The end of the crossing justifies whatever the motive there was.

FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

TONY BLAIR: I agree with George.

Lee Kuan Yew: Every chicken should be given the opportunity to realise its full potential to cross the road. The brightest chickens should lead. (Now who’s the brightest chicken of them all?)

THAKSIN (Thai premier, after initially denying and later confirming the existence of bird flu in Thailand): It’s a screw-up, not a cover-up. We will get to the bottom with the chicken.

SAEED AL SAHAF (Iraqi information minister): The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We don’t even have a chicken.

You forgot to add:

“And besides, the chicken is already dead.”

…and Lien Chan / James Soong:

“We refuse to recognize this so-called “crossing” until the special commission gets to the bottom of this incident. No truth, no crossing!”

Forumosa moderator: I don’t care why he did it. He’s breaking the rules. Ban the chicken!

To get to the other side-dish.

To get Bea Arthur’s autograph.

Some old school mafia dude: To ge to the other side… SEE!
Doc (from Back to the future): Roads? Where we’re going, chickens don’t need roads…
KFC: That not possible, our chickens can’t walk.

Durin’s Bane: To get away from the Canadian.

[quote=“songzzz”]What is Truth? (Adapted from Why did the Chicken cross the road?):

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. [/quote]
Surely it should be:

ARISTOTLE: Because of a case of a chicken being viciously and deliberatly run over while crossing the road, This is an OFFICAL WARNING to all chickens not to cross the road, this advisory will stay in effect until all chickens get road crossing rights.

[quote=“Big Fluffy Matthew”][quote=“songzzz”]What is Truth? (Adapted from Why did the Chicken cross the road?):

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. [/quote]
Surely it should be:

ARISTOTLE: Because of a case of a chicken being viciously and deliberatly run over while crossing the road, This is an OFFICAL WARNING to all chickens not to cross the road, this advisory will stay in effect until all chickens get road crossing rights.[/quote]

Don’t forget to sign it The Defacto Little Chicken Union of Taiwan.

Or would that be:

The Defacto Chicken Little of Taiwan. :wink:

…because I lured his dumb cluck arse over so that I could toss his carcass on the barbie. Now that’s good eatin’! :bravo: :sunglasses:

Aristotle? The man we all know and loathe? :raspberry: :smiley: :laughing: