Now I understand your 3555 posts on this forum. You have vented your mind here because you did not have the opportunity to do it with your wife.
The reasons you mention for the break up in your post are very common in all relations, especially in marriages from different cultures. Anyhow it seams that you have not been able to communicate. Communication is the most important factor in a marriage. I am divorced (and re-married) and the reason for the divorce was lack of communication. We just grew apart and stopped talking to each other.
I see one problem in your relation. You are open minded Danish while she is a narrow minded Taiwanese (not meant as an offence to Taiwanese people). I’m quite sure she could not accept much from your culture. You had to adopt the Taiwanese way of living and thinking. A mixed relation is wonderful and interesting if you can choose the good things from two cultures.
I can also see a big problem for you in the future. You show very clearly how much you care about your daughters. Your ex-wife will use this. I
That didn’t end my relationship, but it sure added some serious verbal assaults. It’s not my fault they don’t have shower curtains in Taiwan. In my prior apartment I was able to install a shower rod and curtain and saved us considerable grief, but that’s not possible in my present apartment. :loco:
So my wife squats down and mops the bathroom floor with a rag after showering and expected me to do the same. No thanks, too disgusting. So I bought a long-handled sqeegee at an auto parts store and now squeegee the floor after showering, thereby prolonging our marriage (it works fairly well).
Now if only I can find comparable solutions for life’s other traumas. :s
Now I understand your 3555 posts on this forum. You have vented your mind here because you did not have the opportunity to do it with your wife.
The reasons you mention for the break up in your post are very common in all relations, especially in marriages from different cultures. Anyhow it seams that you have not been able to communicate. Communication is the most important factor in a marriage. I am divorced (and re-married) and the reason for the divorce was lack of communication. We just grew apart and stopped talking to each other.
I see one problem in your relation. You are open minded Danish while she is a narrow minded Taiwanese (not meant as an offence to Taiwanese people). I’m quite sure she could not accept much from your culture. You had to adopt the Taiwanese way of living and thinking. A mixed relation is wonderful and interesting if you can choose the good things from two cultures.
I can also see a big problem for you in the future. You show very clearly how much you care about your daughters. Your ex-wife will use this. I
I am not too nervous aobut the kids and her using them against me. She has tried, but she has a family, who’s got enough of a sense of decency to keep any wild excesses in check. I have complained to them about any attempts to use the children, and that actually worked.
Also, if you are in a situation, where one has the kids, and the other one has the money, then you can use that to build a modus vivendi, which is acceptable for both. It required a bit of ruthlessness on my part, but it worked.
I must admit that I see a bit more than a communication problem in our relationship.
Well, I think you are right. A relation is so complicated that just one reason is not enough for a divorce. I would say that a forum like this is not the right place to discuss reasons for a divorce. And you are the best person to judge your reasons. I’ve been thinking four years now and still I don’t have the full picture what really went wrong. Anyhow, that’s history and life must go on.
Hope you come over it soon. Life is too short to be wasted thinking about the past!
Honestly, I am moving forward in big strides, my company is shaping up better by the day, the relationship to the ex is good, and I see my kids more than every before.
[quote=“Mr He”]I am not too nervous aobut the kids and her using them against me. She has tried, but she has a family, who’s got enough of a sense of decency to keep any wild excesses in check. I have complained to them about any attempts to use the children, and that actually worked.
Also, if you are in a situation, where one has the kids, and the other one has the money, then you can use that to build a modus vivendi, which is acceptable for both. It required a bit of ruthlessness on my part, but it worked.
I must admit that I see a bit more than a communication problem in our relationship.[/quote]
My ex threatened my son that if he didn’t behave she would leave him here for school instead of taking him back to OZ after the school holidays. ( Oz summer is December January holidays ( Always the big threat, go to a Chinese school in Taiwan lol ) So one December she tells him how it is, he just says, on ya bike mom, I’ll stay with dad in z mountains with the abo’s and live the mountain man lifestyle. So he did lol.
Yep, my wife had the money, but the little poor rich girl act in Australia killed her. She would drive around in her Mercedes complaining about how I used to make shitloads every year. But then when she closed the company down she still thought I could maintain her lifestyle. I went to visit and picked up some other overseas students in her car. They told me the ex always told them how life was tough ( 25K a year for the rent ). They wished they could have an ex like me and be poor like her lol.
After 5 years of roaming the world being unhappy she’s back where she started, living with her parents, selling life insurance ( she got a Bach Business Marketing to sell that lol). She dropped of the lad with me for the last 20 months cause the lad has the same unbalanced attitutde as his father lol… still the break did her good and now she has my lad through the week and myself on weekends. Chaon has him Tuesday nights for study…
The lad is 13 now and he just makes up his own mind… which pisses his mom off considerably…
Mr He, your story makes me sad.
I have these friends who used to be so in love…and 5 years later, they are not any more. I guess people who get married, do so when they are in the so in love stage and expect that it will last. Their mistake, I think, was that they let so many things get in the way. They did not cherish their love. And they definately stopped listening to each other. Communication is very very important. No wonder so many couples don’t make it.
That didn’t end my relationship, but it sure added some serious verbal assaults. It’s not my fault they don’t have shower curtains in Taiwan. In my prior apartment I was able to install a shower rod and curtain and saved us considerable grief, but that’s not possible in my present apartment. :loco:
