Why do ex wives play "you'll see the kids when i say so?"

i hate this kind of stuff. you have legal rights. you can have them all summer by law. but ex says no. ex’s parents even limit your phone conversation. when children talk to you, you feel like someone is hovering over them (your ex in laws).
you give people a greencard and they treat you like a criminal and take your children too.

down with INS!

Maybe they do it because you let them do it? :idunno: Would a good lawyer solve the problem? Getting the police involved would be useless…

They only do it when they can.

If they need help with the kids, they will be over with them in an instant.

Did you try making them honorary Cajuns? That always seems to help.

Or take them to Costco. Then you would have more than one mouth to feed.

rantheman asked:

Why? To take revenge mate, and to hurt you. It gives them a Joker card to use (and abuse) as they wish to get back to you…

Often/sometimes ex wives like getting even, especially if there is no feeling of goodwill between the parties involved. And here, sadly, the kids come in handy.

But this is Taiwan, don’t the kids go the husband in case of a divorce? Or is it different if the husband is a foreigner?

[quote=“stan”]
But this is Taiwan, don’t the kids go the husband in case of a divorce? Or is it different if the husband is a foreigner?[/quote]

In the old days the kids went to the father, not so anymore. The automatic granting of sole custody to the father has been a thing of the past for nearly a decade, so most judges should know by now.

I don’t think it helps if you are a foreigner - on the contrary, it’s likely to damage your case. Avoid courts.

I am an Aussie and I got sole custody, even after the father-in-law threatening me that it would be done the “Taiwanese” way… Guess the in-laws didn’t believe me when I tried to tell them that their daughter was theatening to kill herself and my boy… Luckily she failed the attemped but it was all recorded on our apartment blocks security video, and that was the thing that really sealed the deal so easily for me.

But the police were no help, after she stood in the middle of traffic holding my boy for about 10 minutes, she ran off and took my boy back to her parents’ place and even though the police watched the video a short time later, they still said they couldn’t go and take my boy from her as it was “her weekend” and that I had to go to court to get a “court order” to keep her away from us, so I just had to sweat it out to see if she would brig him back on Sunday night.

Well she did and that was the last time she has ever had my boy by herself. I got sole custody with her having no visitation rights, and a court order to keep her away from us for 12 months and she got 20 hours of court appointed psycho counselling.

Police said though that I could have her charged with attempted murder and even if the charges weren’t proven, I would have messed her life up as this charge would always be on her record and it would be present with her forever in Taiwan. Plenty of friends said I was too kind to her as I didn’t do that, I pressed some lessor charges, can’t remember what it was now…

That was nearly 5 years ago now, and she is gone, and I am happier…

[quote=“TaipeiSean”]I am an Aussie and I got sole custody, even after the father-in-law threatening me that it would be done the “Taiwanese” way… Guess the in-laws didn’t believe me when I tried to tell them that their daughter was theatening to kill herself and my boy… Luckily she failed the attemped but it was all recorded on our apartment blocks security video, and that was the thing that really sealed the deal so easily for me.

But the police were no help, after she stood in the middle of traffic holding my boy for about 10 minutes, she ran off and took my boy back to her parents’ place and even though the police watched the video a short time later, they still said they couldn’t go and take my boy from her as it was “her weekend” and that I had to go to court to get a “court order” to keep her away from us, so I just had to sweat it out to see if she would brig him back on Sunday night.

Well she did and that was the last time she has ever had my boy by herself. I got sole custody with her having no visitation rights, and a court order to keep her away from us for 12 months and she got 20 hours of court appointed psycho counselling.

Police said though that I could have her charged with attempted murder and even if the charges weren’t proven, I would have messed her life up as this charge would always be on her record and it would be present with her forever in Taiwan. Plenty of friends said I was too kind to her as I didn’t do that, I pressed some lessor charges, can’t remember what it was now…

That was nearly 5 years ago now, and she is gone, and I am happier…[/quote]

That was very kind of you, as well as wise. Perhaps you could have been a “fool” and in the heat of the moment charged her, but having prevailed to wisdom, you probably realized the impact of having to live under such condemnation. Cheers to you :beer:

… she cannot see past her own selfishness and the harm it does her children.

Yeah, my mother pulled that stuff with my dad, over my younger sister and I. I was about 12 at the time, and stopped listening to anyone after a while and went wherever I wanted custody-wise, and pretty much did whatever the fuck. But the REASON for this behavior is simply a maligned sense of entitlement. In thier minds, it’s not doing anything wrong, because they are ENTITLED, they DESERVE, sole custody, and sole control. I can understand how seductive that line of thinking is, but it painfully ingonorant of the fact that it takes 2 to make a baby and takes 2 to raise a baby, and neither parent gets sole custody by fiat.

…And now I’m a 22 y/o “expat d’esprit” because I think Taiwan in general has it figured out better than people in USA :slight_smile: