Why is the blame always on the (foreign) guy?

Life Dating & Relationships
1

Serious question… I am constantly told by local females here that if I go out with a local girl, don’t break her heart. WTF does that mean anyways? Dating someone doesn’t equal promising marriage… If it did, it wouldn’t be called DATING… And don’t give me this “Chinese culture is just more traditional and innocent” BS, because the eye candy I see on a daily basis is far from innocent/ traditional. No I am not generalizing, EVERY female I talk to says something along the lines of “你們外國人都好花心” at some point in time or another.

So my question is, why is it the guys fault if he breaks up with a girl because he is unhappy with the relationship? Why does that make the man a bad guy? And why is the girl the “victim”?

Now I am not saying “just go out and cheat on your girl and deny all responsibility” If you cheat on your girlfriend, that’s none of my business, but not what I am talking about… I just mean if you find someone better, or if you are not happy with a current situation, why does it always equal “you foreigners just want to play us innocent Taiwanese women, aka fuck and run”? Sorry that is a load of BS. It takes two to tango, and nobody forced a gun to your head saying “date this foreigner”… As a matter of fact, on more than one occasion I met local females, (late twenties) who were very upfront about their intentions for the night… (no I didn’t, because as you can imagine females that upfront are usually a big turn off in one way or another) AKA one night stand… I mean, seriously, how is it a foreign guys fault?

2

Because it’s easier for it to be YOUR fault than MY fault.

Basic Human Nature.

You can either just say ‘whatever’ when people say things like that, actually try and plead your case, or fuck with them by telling them foreign penises are biologically different and NEED to ejaculate more than Taiwanese penises.

I’ll let you know when one of my classmates comes up and asks me if that’s true :laughing:

3

feeling a little guilty danbing? :slight_smile:

actually taiwanese guys (and girls) play just as hard . I dont have one tenth the number of “” some of my taiwanese buds have, trust me.

4

It isn’t about you. It’s about her and her friends. Like the others said, Taiwanese men are just as much of a user as any other men in the world. As humans it’s just easier to put labels on things. It’s how we cope with and organize stress. Sure it sucks to hear that shit all the time. But hey, that’s an excuse to break up with her or stop dating her. That you can’t stand the constant comparison between you and other foreign men and how “we” are all jackasses. I’m not really foreign myself. And I am not standing on any cultural sides. Right now, I’m seeing it from a male perspective. Women that are immature needs to be schooled. Period.

5

Even immature women probably know more about periods than you.

6

Even immature women probably know more about periods then you.[/quote]

Good job! :bravo: For a moment I almost read that as an insult before I realized you were just attempting to be witty.

7

Who cares about blame when you banging the next girl?

8

All women are blameless little angels, all the time. Got that?

9

[quote=“DazedNConfuzed”]Who cares about blame when you banging the
next girl
?[/quote]

10

Better get used to it, we (foreign guys) get blamed for everything wrong in Taiwan, not just “breaking Taiwanese girls’ hearts.”

11

It’s human nature to be defensive. It takes a strong heart to take blame for our own mistakes or ill-doings.

12

Well, ahem…in Chinese it’s called “tan lian ai” and it’s not quite the same as dating.

The fact that you characterize women as “eye candy” tells me a lot already. Do you also think women who get raped are “asking for it” if they wore anything more revealing than a burkha, by any chance? I’m not saying that all Taiwanese girls are sweet and innocent, but as a whole, the culture keeps children in childhood longer (despite the grinding study routines) than Western culture.

Why is it the girl’s fault if the man isn’t happy with the relationship? Why is it anyone’s fault?

Because if you “find someone better” chances are you were looking for someone else. That doesn’t equal commitment. If you’re not committed, I can’t think of a better description than “fuck and run”, really.

So, let’s see…you don’t want a woman who says she only wants sex, because…um…help me out here…because you want commitment? But your definition of commitment includes looking around in case something better comes along? :loco:

13

[quote=“ironlady”]

The fact that you characterize women as “eye candy” tells me a lot already. Do you also think women who get raped are “asking for it” if they wore anything more revealing than a burkha, by any chance? I’m not saying that all Taiwanese girls are sweet and innocent, but as a whole, the culture keeps children in childhood longer (despite the grinding study routines) than Western culture. [/quote]

Oh jeez Louise! I would be extremely insulted if someone made that association about me.

“I see sexy young things wearing short shorts and miniskirts all the time, and I like it. Therefore I am a neanderthal sexist thug, who believes women ask to be raped unless they hide their sexuality?”

I’m sorry, but that is a bit 80’s, and not at all in tune with the average male psyche.

I for one [color=#FF0040]
LOVE
[/color] :heart: :yay: :bouncy: “eye candy”, and many of these women enjoy being admired. This is not traditional, and it is not strictly innocent if they know they are turning men on. I assume they do.

That doesn’t mean for a moment that I don’t consider them real people with real rights and interests.

The desire to rape usually stems from a desire to control, not to appreciate.

I think your statement was a bit insulting.

14

Yeah, that’s sort of the point. You think the OP’s attitudes aren’t?

15

Well, I just arrived at this thread. I was responding to the connection between using the term “eye candy” and attitudes towards rape and women’s clothing only, not to the poster’s whole trip.

16

The one who leaves first, gives less of their heart, and is less committed is usually ‘blamed’ for the end of the love affair, and here, based on 3 years of experience watching, it’s usually the western guy who leaves first, gives less of his heart, and is less committed. There’s a reason girls here say “Wo ai ni” after going to bed with a guy once, and there’s a reason they change their facebook status right away when they begin seeing a guy---- relationships, and sex, are viewed differently here.

Not to mention the vast majority of western men here, that I know, ARE cheating on their Taiwanese girlfriends, pursuing multiple girls at a time while trying to give each the impression that she is the only one being pursued, and generally being dishonest about his feelings/what he is after. The same guys couldn’t get away with it in the west because western girls would see it coming- culture/language differences hide a lot. I tell all of my female students that if they have a perspective foreign boyfriend, let me meet him, and I’ll tell them if he’s a piece of shit or not :wink:

And it doesn’t matter how a girl dresses- when I was a very innocent 19 year old virgin, I dressed somewhat provocatively- all I thought was “I look good” and I did enjoy the attention I got from guys- but I had no idea how dirty guy’s thoughts were. I honestly didn’t. It’s taken years of listening and observing and a spike in my own sex hormones to sort of understand what it is to be sex-obsessed. And I still have no idea what it’s like for guys. It depends on the girl, but many have no idea where your thoughts are going. Girls generally don’t look at guys and go instantly to sex. That’s just not the way our brains work (most of the time :wink: ) so unless she’s been educated, she has no idea what’s going on in your head. Even though I’d heard that guys thought about sex all the time, I still didn’t get it, still don’t get it, actually.

So danbing, don’t go breaking these sweet local girl’s hearts, ya hear?

(BTW, IronLady, I found myself nodding in agreement to most of your post, and while I wouldn’t necessarily liken him to a rapist, I also got the vibe that Mr. OP might objectify women a bit- he probably puts off that vibe in real life, hence the repeated warnings :laughing: )

17

How about if guys were wearing skin tight leather pants with ornamental cod pieces? Women wearing devilishly sexy attire are wearing devilishly sexy attire. It’s not “good looking” like a Japanese kimono, it’s highlighting the woman’s saucy bits. Skirts in general suggest easy access, especially miniskirts perched atop lovely bare legs. High heels accentuate calf muscles and buttocks. Short shorts do tend to frame “the main course”.

There’s nothing innocent about any of this. Perhaps some women are just in denial? I really don’t know, it just seems so obvious.

18

How about if guys were wearing skin tight leather pants with ornamental cod pieces? Women wearing devilishly sexy attire are wearing devilishly sexy attire. It’s not “good looking” like a Japanese kimono, it’s highlighting the woman’s saucy bits. Skirts in general suggest easy access, especially miniskirts perched atop lovely bare legs. High heels accentuate calf muscles and buttocks. Short shorts do tend to frame “the main course”.

There’s nothing innocent about any of this. Perhaps some women are just in denial? I really don’t know, it just seems so obvious.[/quote]
I’m a woman, and I told you, from my experience, how women think. Especially sexually inexperienced women. Take it or leave it sunshine.
(and no, if a guy were wearing leather pants and a cod piece, I wouldn’t think of sex. I would think “run” or “is it halloween?” ‘sexy’ clothing doesn’t really do it for women the way it does for men. We might think ‘he looks good’ but we don’t think oh my god I wonder how big his cock is wonder how he would feel inside me wonder if he’s good at oral…’ those thoughts come, but not because of what a guy is wearing and generally not until we know him. Random sightings on the MRT do not inspire sexual thoughts in me- but, this is me…maybe I’m weird. Maybe some other ladies can offer their insights.)

19

So much for the leather pants I just got. :s

20

[quote=“NonTocareLeTete”]
I’m a woman, and I told you, from my experience, how women think. Especially sexually inexperienced women. Take it or leave it sunshine.
(and no, if a guy were wearing leather pants and a cod piece, I wouldn’t think of sex. I would think “run” or “is it halloween?” ‘sexy’ clothing doesn’t really do it for women the way it does for men. We might think ‘he looks good’ but we don’t think oh my god I wonder how big his cock is wonder how he would feel inside me wonder if he’s good at oral…’ those thoughts come, but not because of what a guy is wearing and generally not until we know him. Random sightings on the MRT do not inspire sexual thoughts in me- but, this is me…maybe I’m weird. Maybe some other ladies can offer their insights.)[/quote]

This.
Although, from the perspective of a man thinking with his little brain rather than his big brain, this is all irrelevant. What is relevant for a guy looking at the slim, pretty girls in Taiwan who seem so charmingly exotic and overtly sexual (because this hypothetical guy doesn’t know them as individuals yet, and is applying his own expectations of how women in general and Taiwanese girls in particular think) is Me Want Some. Unfortunately, asking a woman and listening to multiple women agreeing on how women think results in evidence that irritatingly goes against the justification for Me Want Some.