Why needs to have a gf?

quote:
Originally posted by Maoman: I'm with Juba. Self-restraint is an admirable quality. [img]images/smiles/icon_cool.gif[/img]

Actually, I think it was Mo Joe who was preaching self-restraint. Juba was just preaching.

Winny,

You will find the worst in any situation if you are already predisposed to see it. If you really have read the threads in these forums carefully, you will have seen that the back-and-forth focuses not so much on the transgressions of “flower heart” foreigners, but rather on the local obsession with “evil” foreign sexuality. The fact that the media fuels this obsession, and the fact that anecdotes like yours are so lovingly passed along, are well recognized here.

Yes, there ARE western guys who are bad news, and who do behave irresponsibly. No one would dispute that. It’s just a shame that local gossip, and media never bother to acknowledge the many, many happy stories of solid love and relationships. I guess the happiness and commitment that so many inter-racial couples enjoy is unappealing to a public who are so keen to have their negative images constantly reinforced.

If you want to focus on infidelity and lament about the lack of sincerity in relationships, you don’t need to look to the foreign community. Look at your family, your friends, classmates, and co-workers, and ask yourself if the nature of the realtionship that you describe between your “friend” and the foreign guy is any different than all the things you know to be true about your own circle of local acquaintances. When you reflect on your own society you might see that, traditonally, men have been given a free hand to philander, and the sexual revolution underway now, allows for an “openess” that results in promiscuity and infidelity from both men and women. If you acknowledge this, why is the story that you pass on to the readers of this forum even worth noting? If you take out the racial dimension (“foreign”), does the notion, “My friend has a boyfriend with a wandering eye, and double standards”, not apply to any number of local situtations, and is it really worth starting a thread for?

This is a forum read primarily by members of the foreign community, perhaps you should think through your own view points a bit more carefully before you post such a myopic and potentially offensive post again.

Mwalimu, a fantastic piece of literature. My sentiments exactly. It was just like you pried open my jaw with a sledgehammer and stole off my words.

Cheers Amos.

I am sorry if I made you feel like i have prejudice on foreigners…and the truth is totally opposite…
I do have great foreigner friends…
It’s just when my friend asked me suck questions, I have no idea how to answer that …
Of course, what kind of people don’t cheat? I didn’t mean to particularly point at all foreigners…
As i indicated, it seems like it’s not rare to see things happen here…
Anyway, no offense about this issue…

I’ve never cheated (although I’m only 22 so who knows). Its easier to see the bad people then the good ones. Plus, they are probably more often already in relationships so you don’t come in contact with them as often.

Also because your friend is Chinese she might not be able to tell which types of foreigners are jerks as well as she would be able to with locals. In different cultures jerks have different mannerisms. There are all sorts of subtle hints we use that we don’t realize we are using to judge someones character.

quote:
Originally posted by Flicka The Frequent Flier: C'mon Urbanjet! It is the NORM in many Western countries for people to date two people at the same time? Are you sure it isn't Mars you are talking about?

Opps…let me rephrase that

" It’s acceptable in many other countries for people to date two people at the same time."

So, it seems that many of the Taiwanese thinks the problem of infidelities is worst amongst foreigners while many of the foreigners are accusing the opposite.

I think the phenomenon at large is irrelevant. I’ve always used the rule of “caveat emptor”. The “packaging” (skin color, face, body,etc.) is no guarantee of the quality of the goods inside (personality, values,etc.). Actually, be extra suspicious if the packaging is extra “fancy”.

I always thought that “package” referred to something else…

I agreee with 4abudabit. I think a lot of losers here benefit from linguistic/cultural barriers. I’ve seen women here with guys, or consenting to go out with guys, that any westerner could spot as a schlep at forty paces. I once heard a jackass ex-roommate of mine on the phone angling for a date with the worst lines I’ve even heard in real life and succeeding. I could only assume that the woman on the other end understood only “movie” and “8:00.”

quote:
Originally posted by Urbanjet: Actually, be extra suspicious if the packaging is extra "fancy".

And the “imported brands” aren’t necessary better.

Anybody else ever try to figure out if it is shampoo, cream, or douche inside those all-Japanese packagings at Watsons? Or is it just me?

Opps…let me rephrase that

" It’s acceptable in many other countries for people to date two people at the same time."

OK, Urbanjet, what countries are you talking about? Is it too late to immigrate to them?

When I first worked overseas (Not Taiwan), I had a girlfriend in the UK, in fact we were planning to get married. Then I was offered a job (In China) , I spent 4 months getting drunk , but never playing around. I would phone my GF everyday, and would write once or twice a week.

She then had the chance to join me in China, but eventually did not, in transpired that she in fact had been enjoying extra-curricular activites with most of my friends in the UK. (Well at least 3 guys I know off)

I then went off the rails for about 6 months, sleeping around with whores and easy girls, and went through a string of semi-permanant GF’s always cheating from one to another.

I think I was damaged goods, men like women are not perfect, and alchol and the availability of local girls to So-called “Rich Expats” all play there part.

I have since married and settled down, and stayed on the straight and narrow for 6 years.

But most guys (Not just Westerners) go through certain phases, all men like to “sow there wild oats” when in the early twenties.

P.S All the Taiwanese men I met in Beijing, had Local GF’s, most were married. This surely is part of Asian Culture stemming back from the Concubine era. ??

Jack Nicholson definitely said it best in “The Witches of Eastwick.”

quote:
Originally posted by sandman: Jack Nicholson definitely said it best in "The Witches of Eastwick."
Dammit, Sandman, stop being so effing mysterious. What'd he say already? [img]images/smiles/converted/yes.gif[/img]

Can’t say. Jeffrey would redden my bottom if I wrote it here (even though the movie didn’t have an ‘R’ rating, I guess children are allowed to hear ruder things than us here on OrIeNtEd).

Oh, screw it, I’ll throw caution to the wind.

He told Michelle Pfeiffer: “Men are such **********s, 'aint they?”

Oh, the censor caught it. He was talking about mens’ dangly bits, but he did it with such a charming smirk that even Jeff’d forgive him, I’m sure.

quote:
Originally posted by subway52: All the Taiwanese men I met in Beijing, had Local GF's, most were married. This surely is part of Asian Culture stemming back from the Concubine era. ??

Most Taiwanese men didn’t get to “sow their wild oats” in their twenties (school, military, work,etc). So, they are “compensating” in a very late stage and in a very dangerous way.

quote:
Originally posted by Flicka The Frequent Flier: OK, Urbanjet, what countries are you talking about? Is it too late to immigrate to them?[/QB]

America, Canada, Australia and EU are hard to immigrate to if you don’t already have family there. However, South America is still relatively relax with their immigration policy.