I am not saying it’s good or bad, just plain truth. Western culture has its own problem with families, I have no wish to generalize on bunch sterotypes.
And I’m just saying it’s untrue. In case you had trouble with reading what I said in the previous post, here it is again in different words:
Parents all have a great deal of influence on their children. It’s whether they choose to abuse it or not.
You can’t claim that eastern families are more tight-knit than western families. I’m sure that some other people will be able to tell you that although they are from a western culture, they are very close to their family.
Oh…right. So what you said below is neither a generalisation nor a stereotype.
Or wait. So the generalisations you spew out are “truth”, whilst whatever remarks other people make upon “eastern”, “western”, or “Taiwanese” culture are stereotypes and they should be more considerate.
I didn’t want to start a war, but I guess whatever. By the way I wasn’t directly replying to your post. I don’t think there is any doubt that even Asian family in the States has stronger family tight than average American, so I am pretty sure that goes well for the broad Chinese culture at least to say. Perhaps it’s better for me to rephrase it to your liken. Let’s put this way, Asian parents have more control over their children. Children that are raised under Asian culture are not necessarily more obedient to their parents, but certainly the opinions count more than the western counter part. Whether it’s because they feel the duty to the family or because the direct abusive control from the parents is however remain unknown to me, perhaps a combination of both.
Clee,
During the 12 years I lived in Taiwan I certainly heard quite a few locals express the similar conviction that family bonds are somehow stronger among Chinese (or they would say, “wo men dong fang ren”) than they are for “Americans”. And the feeling that I got was that many people felt that being “shao-swen” was a Chinese/Asian/Taiwanese thing, and that Westerners/Americans didn’t care about their family or their parents - to nearly the same degree. Often I felt that these sentiments were expressed in a condescending or judgmental way.
I think that these points of view are based on a pretty shallow understanding of “American” culture. America is as racially and ethnically diverse a society as you will find. As a country of immigrants, both well established and new arrivals, we have myriad different family traditions and cultures. Many family cultures in the States feature multi-generational family living, a tradition of parent is always correct - and always has the right to meddle in a child’s life (well into adulthood), and strong respect for elders.
America is probably a much more conservative place than you realize - having been influenced by Hollywood and the somewhat atypical life on the two Coasts. I’m not religious, but, America very much is. Conservative/traditional family values are (often) a common feature shared by all of Religious America, be they Catholic, Baptist, Mormon, Muslim, Hindu, or Buddhist. Unlike Europe where fewer and fewer people identify themselves as religious, Religion thrives in the States even among young people. And, believe it or not - even American families who are not religious also have strong family values, engaged parenting, and respect for the elderly.
[When I left Taiwan and moved back to the States to take care of my parents in their old age (something I still do now) many of my Taiwanese friends said things like, “Wow you are so Chinese”, or “Ni kan, wai-gwo ren ye hui tsao-goo fumu. Hao te-bie”. To be honest, I wasn’t very amused by these kinds of remarks. The bottom line, at least when it comes to taking care of elderly and infirm parents is, some people have the character to step up and do what needs to be done, and some don’t - where you are from has nothing to do with it. It’s a question of integrity.]
I’m sorry, but the fairly prevalent Chinese sensibility (that is somewhat implied in your last posting) that “real” family values are a unique characteristic of Chinese culture - in my opinion demonstrates a bit of ignorance towards other cultures in the world.
All this expressed as respectfully as possible - no flaming or hostility intended.
I have been in the States for 7 years, date several American girls, majority of my friends are American (not just Asian American). I understand American is conservative, but that’s by the standard of Europe, not Asia. American is the most religious western country I know of, I have no doubt of that (especially after 9/11). If you want to look at statistics, over 50 % of American claim they’re protestant, and nearly a quarter are catholic, all other minor ones counts less than 1%. I have no doubt that American is religious.
Perhaps I should rephrase it again, I am not saying American don’t care about their parents or their parents don’t care about their children, but certainly very differently (at least in general). I have been living by myself in the States since 15, that way I was forced to merge into another culture, that’s if I want to make friends, so I can say that I understand American culture fairly well. Sorry, it’s a sterotype, but over 80% American are white, so that’s where my generalization comes into play (white is pretty broad mix, but other than eastern european immigrants, I can say that it’s definitely different from Asia), I never get to know that many African American (even though they’re 12% of the population, but definitely not 12% in any of the school I went through, perhaps I am looking from a elite motherfucking bastard point of view I suppose), I wish I do, I like to meets all kinds of people from all over the world. I can’t say much about them.
You guys love your parents in a different sense, and the respect between parents and kids are different. That’s what I mean by not the same bond, sorry for the mis communication.
A lot of those “Protestants” and “Catholics” just label themselves as such because their parents took them to church once in a while when they grew up.
It is also heavily dependent on region. Seattle was over 50% atheist according to one survey while I was out there.