Here is my story and i need honest feedbacks

Life Dating & Relationships
41

[quote=“abovik”]Proactive is right but it’s about in life. Got anything that they may find interest or want to join you? But in TW I thought it is easy if you have a car :roflmao: No offence but your entire message do appear kind of disciplined hence giving me the image that you are a stern person.

I’ve never really had problem talking to girls here. It’s all casual. They’ll usually ask all things about your country and small talk follows from there. But with pyscho xiaojies :fume: that’s another story and you’ll find that on another message board on the forum.[/quote]

I could easily borrow my parents’ car if i wanted to. The thing is, I feel like a complete loser if i ever had to do that and i am a two-wheeler person which means i like cycles and motorcross that sort of thing but never liked to be in a four wheel cage.

42

Hell yeah, i am fed up with these dating sites showing me unrelated profiles telling me we are 80 percent match. Some can be very racists on certain site, name calling and attack on your appearance are way too common. I took down my pictures and erased closed all my account.

43

[quote=“RickRooney”][quote=“Andrew0409”][quote=“RickRooney”][quote=“Andrew0409”][quote=“RickRooney”]agree with andrew, think you need to learn game or how to be a pickup artist or something like that. although I think those guys are pretty lame and have a ton of issues, it seems good for people who are completely useless with women to at least learn some basics.

I don’t think you are going to get much help from here. seems you need specific attention.[/quote]

I’m not by any means a pick up artist, and I’m not going to teach you just so you can go out and pick up women and get laid. What I’m offering is how to be a better man that will attract not just women, but people around you. If you to make a change in your life, I’m willing to help. It’s really hard to help you without seeing you and what you do in real life. And I don’t have time to write a novel on it.[/quote]

yea I would suggest for him not to follow your advice. no offence but from your other posts you seem to use flashy methods to pursue women. expensive restaurant, jazz, contacts with famous people. this guy is getting rejected left and right, asking a girl to go to a jazz club isn’t going to help him. he needs to seek some expert advice for clueless guys, and that is why the whole ‘game’/‘pick up artist’ thing was created to begin with.[/quote]

How do you think I got there? I was just born with it? people just came up to me to be my friend lol. What I described is a date, if you also read my post, I was stuck in florida with no money working at a shitty restaurant with a bus pass. I still pulled hot girls. And that particular poster was having a different issue, he was getting numbers but not able to secure the date. I’m obviously not going to give him the same advice. And I’m not going to teach him pick up artist tricks, I’m going to teach him how to be a natural. I’m offering the OP how to make his life better not to just pick up women. Listen OP, this is not the board to seek advice on. I’ve gotten plenty of PMs agreeing with me plenty of guys here just don’t get it and give horrible advice or is threatened when someone is successful. I’m not going to teach you how not to get rejected, you will get rejected. But don’t listen to me. I’m sure guys on here know all about how to successful date beautiful women. :laughing:[/quote]

no I don’t feel threatened, just wouldn’t be flashy myself. I don’t see the point in it and I’ve never needed anything like that. it seems that YOU are the one that is threatened because i criticized your outdated james bond dating style ? lighten up andrew, I don’t even claim to be a player, i just think this guy sounds pretty hopeless and should seek expert council.[/quote]

Heya, i am absolutely hopeless. I don’t want to end up like some of these old oz farmers posting on local newspaper asking for wife, omg what a world im living in.

44

100%, 10/10, full marks, two thumbs up, high five? Agree with this.

I’ve played the desperate game and it has failed me countless numbers of times. It was when I stopped being desperate and going with the flow was when I saw things come together. Going out when friends asked me to go somewhere I had never been with people I’ve never met, doing an activity I had never done or picking up a new hobby. Go a little outside your comfort zone and maybe you’ll meet someone that did the same at an event. Now there’s nothing saying that once you let go that your life revolves around finding a gf, do you immediately find a girl though.

All I’m trying to say is, don’t try too hard, try something new or pick up an old/new hobby. Hobbies are a great way to meet people![/quote]

Righty, i will take after your advice. Finding a club or something and thanks for ya feed back.

45

yeah right, i’ve never heard of this but seems like it’s probably gonna work well. haha, 30 years old virgin :roflmao:

46

OP may not have the issue of interacting socially if he and the girl had something in common to talk about with the girl. Right?

However, we can speculate all we want, but it seems like OP won’t be back too soon because he’s has been away from thread for almost a week now.[/quote]

No, having a common interest can build friendships, but it seems like women don’t see him sexually at all. If he can’t build sexual tension and be seen as more than a friend, you can be interested in all the same things and watch her get fucked by the next guy who has nothing in common with her.[/quote]

You nailed it!!

47

[quote=“kaikai34”]I don’t think your background is putting you at a disadvantage. In fact, it should plus points. Traveled and seen other parts of the world? Those are pluses. Honestly, it could be your physical appearance. I don’t want to sound harsh, but if you’re not an attractive guy, short, balding, or have a bad complexion, you’re at a disadvantage from the get go and strangers will probably not respond to date requests. You sound like a nice dude so if you’re able to get to know someone first and they get to know you and your likeable (hopefully) personality, then physical appearance plays a smaller role. If you’re funny, even better. Funny guys pull chicks.
Anyways what are your hobbies? Perhaps join a club and don’t go looking too hard. In my experience, you never find love when you’re looking for it. It always comes unexpectedly.[/quote]

Cheers for your words mate. Bad things always hit me unexpectedly… like a kangaroo/deer on the road, so fast, that you don’t don’t even see them coming!!

48

While I agree with Tommy, I was thinking about how we also tend to treasure things we have to work for more.[/quote]

That is true to a large extent. But after many years in the trenches of love I have come to the conclusion that it is better to be loved then to love :stuck_out_tongue:

Less heartache and headache. In other words learn to love those that already at least LIKE you. Rather then love an illusion or a shadow of affection.

But more on point ask yourself “would you love you” , “what is good about you that someone else would love”, “would you choose YOU to date, to hang out with”

Besides if you end up with too much “success” you may put out threads about getting STDs checked and wanting to up your libido.

Max your attributes and minimize your minuses.[/quote]

that’s fair dinkum

49

[quote=“hansioux”]Honestly, I have no clue how to pick up girls at clubs, pubs or festivals either. Maybe some people just aren’t comfortable in those types of situations, or girls who go to those types of places aren’t exactly looking for people like us.

My solution is to find new things and new places outside of your usual routine and comfort zone to go and do that you would enjoy. Do group activities where you’d have a chance to interact with strangers your same age. Go on trips on your own, or with a few buddies. Go on a kayaking group tour on the east coast or something like that. I tend to find it easier to mingle with people I met for the first time in those settings. Compared to not know what to do in a bar or club, and generally not having fun, but forcing yourself to go only for the sake of meeting friends, it’s like a 100% improvement.

That’s just me though.[/quote]

I am in complete agreement with you. I never function in a club nor a bar, it gives me the impression that chicks are there for a free one-nighter.

50

[quote=“sewersquid”]

Seriously…
Negative aura only attracts negative ones.
Do what you comfortable at, and by chance, you’ll meet someone there.

If you are an active sportsman, don’t try to get girls from library.
The girls will notice your awkwardness with books.

If you can’t handle car traffic because of chronic car-sick, don’t try to impress her by going around town with car.
You’re gonna get car-sick and possibly puke which never gonna impress the girl.
Go ride a bike on bike path instead.

If you can’t handle summer outdoor activity, don’t go out on mid daylight in Taipei’s summer.
You’re gonna get heatstroke and surely won’t impress her.
Try cafe instead.

I don’t think local scene of bar/nightclubs are good to get girls for a typical man.
Unless of course, you look strikingly un-local.
Being a typical Asian without Chinese skills, I usually have difficulties even getting interaction with any person in the club (m/f/local/foreign).

Some of my successful ask-a-girl-to-go-out invitations in Taiwan.

  1. Free tickets for a football game (better be a decent game in a real stadium, not some crappy highschoolers play kicks)
    I think it works for musical concert or other more upscale event as well. But you need to spend (first) for this one, by buying the tickets.
  2. Hiking (don’t ever try this on summer!)
  3. If the girl is a local, you could pretend have no clue about Chinese, and ask her for a help dealing with things that need to be done using Chinese… say making a visa photo for applying US-visa in one of the local photo shops.
  4. Foreign girl more complicated, but bit flirty jokes comes handy when trying to get attention from social media.
  5. I can’t help you with feminists, though. They are the toughest nut to crack, usually ends with them making bad words at me.[/quote]

Yo thanks for the comment mate. I m kinda sick hearing these white chicks joking about my small penis when they never bothered to find out themselves personally. Traumatized at school and later on singled out by ladies in workplace i’ve reached conclusions about those no brainers. That’s fine, cuz they age more rapidly and grew larger and larger as they age hence the fact that they’re larger than life!

Btw, why should i pretend i don’t speak Chinese when seeking local girls??? :astonished:

51

You might want to learn good ice breaker techniques. And be a proactive go-getter.

Taiwan is far easier to connect with someone at a cafe than it is in the bay area. And forget about the gyms here. People generally do not talk to each other unless they came together. They put on their headphones and get on with their workout routine.

And most cafes most people are using their headphones and engrossed in their ipads and what not so its hard to find a cafe where people actually talk to each other.

I gave up years ago. And started getting into chat rooms and meeting people there. Some of which became real life friends. Including my wife.

I found that in Taiwan you COULD , with some effort meet someone in a cafe and hit up a conversation which could lead to …and…and … who knows.

SO i am at my fav cafe on a day off. Wifey off with her buds and I am waiting for a couple friends of mine to come over and hang out. This was a rare cafe without wifi so people actually conversed with people that they came with. But not usually with strangers.

It was hot. And perfect to sit outside as I often do (whenever possible). The cafe is frequently by young lesbians mostly . And that is ok. There are a lot of oldsters too. Its an expensive neighborhood housing wise, but in a college town (Berkeley) so there are lots of younger sorts as well.

I got to a table just as the guy in the table next to me hit up a conversation with the lady in the next table across from me. Close proximity here. Tables are only 2 feet away from each other. No good to try to talk to somebody at a table ten feet away. So proximity is important here.

So i missed his opening ice breaking line . They were already engrossed in a conversation about the lack of friendliness in the bay area. Him: 50s white guy. Her: early 30s black girl. He said something about other places in America being friendlier then the Bay Area generally. And…followed by a quick insertion of a question. “Where are you from?”
" Oh, Ethiopia? "
“I met a few people from Ethiopia, i detected a trace of an Ethiopian accent there”
“What do you do”
“Oh a nurse, noble profession”

He was very smooth. He inserted a personal question here and there while talking about “innocent” non intrusive topics. LIke housing prices in the bay area versus other places like Oregon, when would be the best time to buy a house . Other topics like that . He carefully found a few times where he could praise her.

“oh you must be very accomplished to come to America to be a nurse”
“you have a head on your shoulders , I can tell”

And gave advice to as to show he “cares”.
“you could move to OREGON and get the same job and same pay and buy a house”
“yeah you are right, maybe not, and you would be in OREGON”

etc and et al. I can’t help listening in as I am only a few feet away.

The praise worked, it got her to open up some more . I was able to tune away often so I missed a lot of other stuff. But basically he came across as a genuine person who knew a lot about things and was just sharing his thoughts. Said he was a personal advisor. Advises those with money to keep their money and make more. I.e. a person people trusted . Establishes TRUST.

So he quickly established not only TRUST and KNOWLEGE and EXPERIENCE but was fast to PRAISE her.

Now who can resist PRAISE . :slight_smile:

So, it didn’t take long for him to move from his table to HER table. It was by that time a “sensible” thing to do, so as not to have to “shout” across 2 feet.

My friends arrived by that time so I was able to stop listening to them.

I would think that from that point he would be able to exchange an email or tel number or what not. And they could go on a date, if they so chose.

The point here is. He didn’t just sit there and look at her and wonder about having a relationship with her (get in her pants). She may not have even been looking at him at all. He saw an opportunity and moved right in. Careful to not thread on any toes, careful about what topics he brought up. CAreful to present a good image of himself and praised her every chance he got. Without being too personal like
“oh nice dress you have there ?” Which would have sexual implications. He praised her THINKING and her ACCOMPLISHMENTS. Not her physical attributes. Therefore not giving off any PERV vibes ! Because here in the Bay Area especially. If you look at a girl 3 times you are a PERV, if you never look at her, you are GAY. So its a tough game to play here with AMERICAN girls especially.

He was lucky she was NOT American. Him being 50s and her 30ish may not work with a regular American girl. Who will have her BS filters up super fast too.

But a girl from Ethiopia sitting alone in a cafe (and she was not bad looking too, not my style but his definitely) was a possible !

So he was like a hunter killer submarine and identified a soft target and moved right in turned on the CHARM button to MAX.

Works ! No doubt been successful with other Ethiopian girls before and this was just a walk in the park just using his play book. He had quickly established he knew something about Ethiopia and got her to talk about her country, early on in their convo. Now someone who is far away from home would be open to talking about HOME. BReaks off HUGE chunks of ice with this line.

52

Tommy you are a funny fella sometimes and a good observer.

Still Taiwan has changed A LOT too and not for the better in some
Ways.
I never see randomers talking to each other in coffeeshops here and most young people are painfully shy at least to try and interact with strangers. In the big city most conversations are rote response with the service people and FEW have the time or inclination or now the skills to have a regular conversation with you.

Yes I am one of the people with my nose jammed in a smartphone too unfortunately.

53

I donno. Last on the rock was 2012 for me. Spent a week there. The girls? Oh Lordy, one came along every five minutes that was HOTTER then the one who was the best looking five minutes ago.

I tried talking to miss late-teens-early-twenties-with-the-hot-legs-in-hot-pants on the Muzha line sitting next to me and got a response that froze me in my place like a death ray. But the 30 something ladies selling stuff at the night market clearly were interested in me and kept me at their stalls yakking about all sorts of stuff. And the 30 something lady i sat next to on the train from Taoyuan that I asked a simple question of (i wasn’t trying to pick her up, just had a genuine question if I could switch to the HSR at the Panchiao station) was clearly interested in talking and conversing.

So if i was living there, i would feel like I had a chance (as long as they were not much younger then 30).

Over here, you have to be a real “smooth operator” to gain traction. But there are some real “pros” out here.

I guess most of the gaming happens at the bars. And if you are a hot , 20 something guy or even a hot young 30s guy you could score.

A friend of mine, who is actually a wolf-in-wolf’s clothing doesn’t do so well on the scoring front. Even though he has a Ferrari and a nice home and talks about those things the second he meets a girl.

He could do well to disguise his wolfiness with some sheep’s clothing.

He sees someone at the bar, and goes straight into “that is VERY nice dress you are wearing”
“I have a hot tub at home, you want to come and bring some friends” . Doesn’t work that well.
Well so far as i know anyways.

54

I’ve had more girlfriends than I care to admit and not one of them went out with me on my first try/request. Lots of western men don’t seem to understand how it works.