Lost and Losing Interest

Taiwan Living in Taiwan
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I don’t mean to bother any of you. I just needed some advice and maybe to talk to someone. If you know me in person, I try never to complain, it is just that I feel so lost, that I’ve started to lose interest in life.

I will try to explain. I originally came to Taiwan 3 months ago because I wanted to see the world. I was also getting out of a bad situation in Colorado. I was offered a job in the mainland and I was offered a job in Japan, but I chose Taiwan, honestly because it was the fastest place to get out of the bad situation. I also chose Taiwan because I like modern Chinese history (I took 12 credits of modern Chinese history in university) and I thought it would be a neat place to maybe learn Mandarin. I left without telling anyone.

So, I had job set up. But when I got here, they never told me the hours (I should have been more questioning before I came), but basically I would’ve been working from 9 AM to 8 PM. I could not take the job because I would’ve had no life outside of the classroom. My plans after I started working were to maybe start studying math again with the ultimate goal of maybe going to go to graduate school one day to become a scientist and I wanted to start earning money to do fun things and I also maybe wanted to maybe meet a nice girl and have a girlfriend. But, anyway, I quit my job, for the reasons mentioned above.

I struggled to find a job. But my reasoning is that it was okay, because I had the whole world open to me and that I could always try and find another job, and if that did not work, I could always go to Japan or China. So in about May, I was offered a job at Hess, but I turned it down, because I was waiting to see if an assistant language teacher job could process my visa in time in Saitama. But they couldn’t. So right thereafter, I went back to Hess. They gave me a job, and threw me into teaching with no training. I felt so stressed because of this, so I was offered a temp job in Xihu, so before I could sign the contract at Hess, I left for Xihu. This was probably one of the dumbest things I could have done, because I knew I would feel isolated, not knowing any Mandarin, but I left anyway, and ended coming back a few weeks later, because I got fired because I told my boss that I felt isolated.

So I have been in Taipei for 3 weeks now. It has been very hard to find a job. And being so idle, and not being able to participate in life, not having the self-esteem from working, and not being able to work towards any of my goals; and this over time has just led me to losing interest in life. At first it was feeling down, but now it is like not feeling anything and losing interest in life and feeling that there is no way it will get any better. I was offered a few jobs in the mainland, but I really like Taiwan. Honestly, I know a lot of what has happened to me is my own fault. But I would never say this lightly, I am starting to lose hope and interest, and I didn’t know where to turn.

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Hello mate.

I think you just need a good vent and a few beers, then the next day perhaps break down what you want to do in the short term into smaller sizes. You have a lot of bigger goals around studies, social life + travel and also work, but I can’t seem to pinpoint what exactly is your priority.

If its work, maybe identify more solidly what you want to do based on your previous experiences and then start again. Or try to speak to a few people about getting yourself into Japan again. If it’s getting a girl, do what you kids do nowadays, if your budget can stretch a bit further.

If all else fails and you do not wish to return home yet, perhaps rethink about heading to the mainland and start seeing what benefits you get out of doing a stint there.

I am not an expert on any of what you’ve said, or what I’ve said, but just seeing if a different perspective can open a few more paths for you.

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Moving around the world on one’s own is tough. Hell, it took me 5 years to screw up the courage to come over here. You have exhibited a sense of adventure just by coming here and that is something, imho, that is admirable.

You question yourself a lot too. That also is good.

Again, imho.

Play to your strengths. Make positive choices over negative ones. Don’t make any long term solutions to short term problems bro. There is always someone to hear you out.

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I don´t get it. You just wrote right before that you turned down three job opportunities because you did not like the working environment.

Working in Taiwan is not so easy. Working hours are long, pay is not very high compared to western countries.
Foreigners (edit: from western countries) have it actually much better than most Taiwanese people.

If you have some funds you can wait longer for that good job opportunity where the hours are not too long and pay is good. But those are far in between and you will have other teachers compete for those.

May be this can help:

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What are you losing interest in, staying in Taiwan or teaching?

Teaching is not for everyone. Even working a few hours a day, it can take a lot out of you at first.

I did not really have that great experience my first go around. In my former life in the US, I worked IT. Not exactly something to slide into teaching from. To me, the whole living and working in Taiwan was, and still is, a very steep learning curve. Even being married to a Taiwanese woman did not help too much, as there was little she could actually do. It is not like I was moving from Denver to Kansas City, or Amsterdam, or Sarajevo. It was like going from Earth to Mars. It has taken a lot of getting used to.

Either by choice or not, I keep myself rather isolated. I have little in common with my wife’s friends and family, so I do not always hang out with them. My Chinese is minimal, after 6 years. I do not have an “expat bubble” since I do not really hang out with them. I am fat and 47 years old, not exactly the hang out with type. My point here is that you have to get your energy from within. Do not care what happens in the world around you, make your inner peace.

From my experience, bosses will not help you. They see you as doing the job, or not. There is no in-between. That sounds like what happened with your boss. Do not expect the lights, bells, and whistles from your first gig. Whether you start lite (15+ hours/week) or heavy (20+ per week) it takes time.

That said…is this your first time abroad? If so, Asia really isn’t for rookies. When I was young, I spent my summers in Europe (not rich, just had family in the old world) between the Netherlands and Yugoslavia. Similar cultures was easy to flow in and out of. Asia…I was 40 when I moved here, and it was do or die. Now, I cannot see myself anywhere else. Well…maybe at a burgdženica in Sarajevo.

You can PM if you want.

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I’m assuming they’re talking about the SE Asian workers~ Most people do the Taiwanese thing though… foreigner/ 外國人 = white/western person

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Greenocelot, you don’t have any experience teaching so you’re looking at literally entry level…entry level almost always comes with crappy hours and we’re in Taiwan where the daily working hours are even more messed up.

I’d say bite the bullet and grind out a year, saving as much as possible and either continue at whatever school you land in, move/change schools, or travel around SEA with your savings~

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If so, it’s moot.

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I guess it’s unfortunate that you don’t drink or like to social much because you could hit the local foreigner pub and run into people drowning their sorrows from similar feelings and thoughts. At least have others to share stories with and maybe get some new bearings or at least compare notes and maybe find some resolution ideas.

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My first year in Taiwan (2015) was terrible. I lasted 3 months at buxiban before getting fired and then my dad died suddenly back home. In that time I learned that I hated classroom teaching, especially dealing with kids. Lucky for me I found a local girl who couldn’t be more helpful and a routine editing position at a company. Life is a lot better now.

My advice is to try and find a partner in Taiwan to help you out. It makes all the difference trying to settle down here.

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Cheer up. Things aren’t that bad, right? You have your health. And 3 months without a job isn’t that long. Don’t go to the mainland, because mainland China sucks to work in.

Make some buddies, get a girlfriend (pretty easy here), keep plunking away on job boards, and don’t blow stuff out of proportion.

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If things don’t work out here for you within the next month, you might consider teaching at uni in China. I have said a lot of bad things about China and it is certainly trying living there. However, the uni jobs there are can be OK. You teach 18 hours a week, and normally, no one gives a hoot what happens in your classroom. They set you up with an apartment on campus and you are sheltered, because of that, in a big way from real life in China. I lived 5 out of 6 years on campus. The one year off campus in which I was living alongside the general populace I seriously longed for that uni life. It can be crap shoot with the universities there if you apply online. My first year there was at a shite uni, then I moved to the best uni in town after getting to know the area. China isn’t for everyone and I’m not necessarily recommending it, but you might want to consider it if things get more desperate for you. Also Jim Rogers says here that the Orangeman’s moves are helping to make China the world’s next super-power (not that that would necessarily help foreigners there but it might make a little difference) while decimating America’s status on the globe. I’m American by the way and am not bashing the U.S. or 45. I don’t care anymore! :rofl: Also, you might want to try Foresight for some hours. I was in a situation like yours seven years ago and Foresight got me some hours with a great class before I even had my A.R.C. sorted.

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What you describe sounds rather like depression, but I guess it’s inappropriate to toss out that sort of diagnosis just from an email. It’s more likely just culture shock and loneliness - and, as someone else pointed out, you probably don’t have the skill set to get a fulfilling job.

Gone are the days when you could just rock up in Taiwan with a reasonable (or not so reasonable) grasp of your native language and walk into a teaching job.

You sound fairly young, which unfortunately means you just need to put in some hard graft and become very good at something. If you want to have an enjoyable life here, that probably means something you can do remotely from your clients/employer. Having no money sucks whichever way you look at it; you can’t even pay for Chinese classes, which would be a good way to solve several of your immediate problems.

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There are a couple ways to learn Chinese for free. First of course is doing language exchange with someone who wants to learn English. There’s also a couple of free tutorial videos for learning very basic Mandarin. This 10 part series is pretty okay, but it’s Mainland Mandarin as opposed to Taiwanese Mandarin. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ApYHahBeBTQ

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A post was split to a new topic: Not helpful.

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I hear that a lot, foreigners have it easier than Taiwanese.

To be honest I think it’s rubbish.

Foreigners don’t have a free house to stay in and free food to eat.

Foreigners mostly can’t speak the local language or read it making life quite difficult at times

Many foreigners earnings are quite poor these days, average pay is not much different than the average in Taipei I’d say. 45k to 60 k a month.

Foreigners don’t usually get to inherit property or free stuff like Taiwanese do from their parents when they get married.

Foreigners don’t have as as many chances to get tax rebates Iike local Taiwanese .

Foreigners are practically blocked from doing many jobs here related to public services .

Foreigners don’t have guanxi and parents giving them companies to take over.

Foreigners find it hard to get permanent positions as professors and also were not given a pension until very recently (and some still not).

Lots of foreigners have to apply for a work permit for every Job they do.

And this is all the so called privileged foreigners…

I don’t think foreigners have it very good here to be honest.

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OP knuckle down and get some earnings flowing in.
Do whatever it takes to get some cash together as a buffer…
Just getting out of the house and doing stuff will help to lift your mood and make you proactive.

I went through some.tough times here over the years , it’s all par for the course. I had to wait five years.just to get my first Chinese lesson as I was so busy working to get by and survive. Ridiculous looking back at it but hindsight is 20 20.

Don’t kick yourself as to how you got to this focus on getting those dollars in first and getting the Self esteem back.

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I see your point, but I think the other point was that foreigners, westerners, can get away with more from employers than locals. Foreigners tend to work less hours and still make almost double what locals do.

The TAs at some of my schools would work 10 to 12 hours a day, have triple the responsibilities, work 6 days a week, all for a fraction of the foreigner salary.

It can be tough for a foreigner here, no doubt. The hoops to jump through to land a job, and they are becoming more and more scarce. In some instances foreigners, at least initially, are charged more for some services.

I guess it is all about perspective.

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TA jobs here are minimum wage slavery.
It should come as no surprise that there are millions of well paid Taiwanese as well as millions of poorly paid Taiwanese. Taiwan also has the highest number of millionaires per capita in Asia. There are a lot of Taiwanese who are extremely well off. Something like 1 million millionaires.

I happen to know very badly paid Taiwanese including local qualified kindergarten teachers . I understand your point. The work culture and treatment of workers in general stinks.
I have dabbled in English teaching it is an appallingly run industry. It is also very far from lucrative for 99% of the workers in it.

My point is that foreigners overall are generally VERY far from the top of the totem pole and have significant issues that they face in making a life here that a local would not neccessarily have.

Qualified local teachers, soldiers, civil servants in general would have a much easier life with guaranteed benefits and security.than any foreign English teacher. Until recently they didn’t even pay any income tax and many can retire in their 50s. Some soldiers can retire in their 40s!

Even the humble policemen have generous incomes and benefit packages. All off limits to foreigners, sorry.

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You’re taking about one small microcosm of Taiwan. Read over BrianJones thread he sums it up well. There is so much more to Taiwan than the English teaching cram school world. Lots of locals are loaded with cash!!

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