Tommy's story

Life Dating & Relationships
261

First day off together today. Just came back. Had a great time. Due to her inability to get herself together until bout noon I made the most of it in the morning by doing a few loads of clothes.

Drove over the new bridge to fisherman’s wharf. Didn’t stop , just drove through. Plan to head there again tomorrow but this time via BARt and F-Market street car. Since I dont feel like fighting for a parking space at some 9 bucks or more per hour. Went around Lombard street to see a few cable cars. Heard on the radio that the Kiwis are one race away from winning the America’s cup ! And they probably would’ve done it except race two was cancelled due to high winds on the bay. Was a gorgeous sunny day today on the bay . Winds may have indeed been strong as i have never seen windsurfers go at such speeds today from my vantage point at Crissy (SP) Field.

Stopped by the Palace of Fine Arts where they have that Greek (I think) structure dating from some World Fair. Its a nice photo op place.

Dropped by the GG bridge right after, and walked bout a fifth of the way across . Another photo op . She was thrilled to see and be at the world famous landmark of a bridge.

Stopped briefly at Twin Peaks to check out the sights, but (its always cold there) the cold got to her and she hurried back to the car after about zero point three seconds outside.

Malled it at Stonestown Galleria and she got two nice pair of jeans (size 0 ?? !! ) on a buy one (for 29.95) and get one for ten bucks sale.

What i like bout her? Shes a ROSS shopper like me. Happy to get a bargain and not requiring name brands per se. More like , the item is nice, fits the bill and the price is right…go for it… kinda gal !

Very refreshing from the NAME BRAND ONLY and from respectable (read EXPENSIVE) stores only
Taiwanese girls Iv known in the past. Some of whom wouldn’t be caught dead in a ROSS :slight_smile:

TAlly from a Ross and a quick Mall visit. 4 pairs of size 0 jeans, three imitation leather jackets , a pair of sandals by Hilfiger, pair of walking shoes by Clark , a jumper, a pair of exercise pants all for 200 dollars. Glad shes easily thrilled.

I haven’t had one of those boiled crabs down at the Fisherman’s Wharf myself since probably 1992, when it was something like ten bucks a crab eating outside and 20 inside. But tomorrow plan to look into that. Hope its still affordable.

WAnted to take the Larkspur ferry to and from for the fantastic views afforded. Prices have crept up though. Was something like 6.25 each way per person not long ago. Now its 9.50 each way per person. So thats 40 bucks to get an hours worth of boat time on the bay. A bit steep but its a fun cruise.

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[quote=“tommy525”]First day off together today. Just came back. Had a great time. Due to her inability to get herself together until bout noon I made the most of it in the morning by doing a few loads of clothes.

Drove over the new bridge to fisherman’s wharf…
…WAnted to take the Larkspur ferry to and from for the fantastic views afforded. Prices have crept up though. Was something like 6.25 each way per person not long ago. Now its 9.50 each way per person. So thats 40 bucks to get an hours worth of boat time on the bay. A bit steep but its a fun cruise.[/quote]
What a cruel post- it has me missing home so bad. :cry:
Show her the finest the Bay has to offer =) glad you two are together at last!

263

Yeah NTCLT> I think i know how you feel . I often feel that way about being back on the rock of wan.

I’m here making the most of what we got here. And true, the bay area offers A LOT. Possibly the place that offers the MOSTEST in the USA, all things considered.

264

Ha,ha she’s got Whooper on her side already.

265

Grats, Tommy, you deserve all the best! Your bride is lovely even if the cat is bigger than her. [GRINNING CAT FACE WITH SMILING EYES]

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk - now Free

266

What the hell. I thought you were robbing the cradle not the grave?!

Just kidding, tommy, couldn’t resist. :wink:

Great news. Best best BEST to you and your newly proximate squeeze. Really, bro, well done.

267

Indeed. Congratulations man. Wish you all the best.

268

Thanks guys. She’s having a great time so far. Adjusting nicely. Except for food. She practically dislikes everything . Picks at things. Will have to get her to a Thai restaurant. And take her to the indo restaurant in berkeley.

Got her the latest iphone 5S with Tmobile. For those interested, details as follows on iphone

Each company a different scheme. But researching I got down to two companies.

SPRINT : Iphone 5S = 99 dollars , plus about 55 sales tax if you bring your own number (otherwise add 100). The iphone 5C is exactly 100 less. Unlimited fone service and text (usa only, international add 10/month) = 50/month . Unlimited internet = 30/month. Add insurance 11/month comes out to be about 91/month for two years. 350 penalty if you break contract.

Start 200 dollars about for fone, tax and activation fee. Then pay 91/month for two years with contract. Bad thing is that i heard that Sprint Iphones can not be unlocked and can only be used on Sprint network! Also no upgrade possible until end of contract when you can go on with your fone with no contract or get a new phone with another two year contract.

Insurance means that if you lose your fone or break it you pay 175 for a new one instead of 650 dollars plus tax.

TMOBILE: 99 for iphone 5S (no need to bring your own number, you can but you dont have to), 0 dollars down for iphone 5C. The fone is yours, and is unlocked. You pay it off in 2 years at just under 23/month in addition to your down payment and sales tax.

50 for fone service, and add 30 for internet, both unlimited. (int txt or calling extra). Pay another 10/month for insurance so it comes out to be about 113/month. So with Tmobile you are paying more per month, but once the fone is paid off you pay only 80/month. And if there is a new fone and you want to upgrade, you just forgo what has been paid so far and upgrade and start a new cycle of near 23/month with another down payment and tax. And you own the fone and its unlocked.

So i decided to pay more a month but get the added freedom that Tmobile comes with.

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[quote=“tommy525”]Thanks guys. She’s having a great time so far. Adjusting nicely. Except for food. She practically dislikes everything . Picks at things. Will have to get her to a Thai restaurant. And take her to the indo restaurant in berkeley.

[/quote]

Take her to an Asian supermarket.

270

Yes did that tonight . To Ranch 99 Market in concord. She loved it. Bought 60 dollars worth of spices and what not. Came home , made an indonesian chicken soup dish. Was actually very good.

Comfort food for her.

Shes been here exactly one week today. And shes missing home !

But I got her an iphone so she can chat away with her buds and family. And she yaks on skype as well.

Not sure if it dawns on her that coming over here and being married means EXILE from her Native land.

271

[quote=“tommy525”]Yes did that tonight . To Ranch 99 Market in concord. She loved it. Bought 60 dollars worth of spices and what not. Came home , made an indonesian chicken soup dish. Was actually very good.

Comfort food for her.

Shes been here exactly one week today. And shes missing home !

But I got her an iphone so she can chat away with her buds and family. And she yaks on skype as well.

Not sure if it dawns on her that coming over here and being married means EXILE from her Native land.[/quote]

Did you expect anything different, mate ? Be prepared, It will probably get even more difficult at the point when you have to stop the princess treatment and start to expect her to put something of her own into the relationship.

272

WEll she is ironing my clothes, keeping the house clean and cooking dinner. Thats a pretty good start :slight_smile:

273

congrats Tommy. Glad the long wait is finally behind you & a new chapter in your lives is happening. all the best to you both.

274

Congrats Man! Mail order bride sorted! …opps…sorry. Forumosa speak I mean, way to go dude! :smiley:

275

Yeah, the fascination of being in a new and unfamiliar place will end, and reality will set in. Always the case when moving to a faraway place. There’s probably an Indonesian community around, as well as Indonesian shops and restaurants… these can help curtail homesickness. Also, get yourself an Indonesian language study course (like Teach Yourself Complete Indonesian) and learn the language… it can be fun, and it’ll show that you’re interested in her culture.

Plus… every once in a while, take a trip back to her motherland.

Selamat mencoba dan bersenang-senang!!

276

Well we have agreed that she gets to go back “home” for a month or two once a year and the first time as soon as she gets her Green Card. Thus allowing her back in to the USA.

277

That’s a good plan (assuming she isn’t planning on working…if she starts working, getting that amount of time off probably wouldn’t be possible).

I wish you lots of luck, Tommy. I really hope this works out for both of you!

278

My plan for her is :

  1. get acquainted with the environs, methodology, spirit, flow of life here in the east bay.
  2. go to school. With emphasis on English.
  3. learn to drive.
  4. study a career path.
  5. work part time, perhaps at Starbucks or something similar to get her english skills up to speed.
  6. enter a career she can do well and enjoys.
279

[quote=“tommy525”]My plan for her is :

  1. get acquainted with the environs, methodology, spirit, flow of life here in the east bay.
  2. go to school. With emphasis on English.
  3. learn to drive.
  4. study a career path.
  5. work part time, perhaps at Starbucks or something similar to get her english skills up to speed.
  6. enter a career she can do well and enjoys.[/quote]

But that isn’t going to fit in with what you have agreed with her already, that she can go back to Indonesia for a month or two every year right ? Have you discussed this plan with her ?

If she goes to school, who is going to fund her college education ? I remember you saying that you expect the cashflow to stop soon after she arrives in the USA, well that’s not going to happen if you need to put her through college is it ?

I really wish the best for you mate, because you obviously have a heart of gold, you are willing to give everything you have for her. But as far as I see it (and I will be really happy to be proven wrong), any person that moves half way across the world to marry someone twice their age, with whom they have spent only a couple of weeks, and with whom they have nothing in common, is essentially an economic migrant. She will seek to use you and will probably be expecting you to use her as well. Mutual exploitation. Mutual dependency. I have seen hundreds of such couples in the Philippines, admittedly the women are younger and the men are older- but it’s a similar kind of relationship. It’s very sad to see.

In this way, your plans for her to become a career woman might actually be counterproductive. Once she becomes independent, she may have no further need for you and will discard you, several hundred thousand dollars worse off. And knowing you, you will take it on the chin, say “that’s life” and move on. Doesn’t mean that it’s good for you though.

Like I said, I wish you all the best, I just want to give you a reality check before you tie the knot with this woman. I know you are gonna to do what you are gonna do, and you aren’t going to take any notice of what people here tell you, but can you just talk to the people really close to you, whoever they may be, first ?

280

That’s us.