[quote]Quote:
Dude, so you got burnt. Grow up, take it like a man and stfu.
cliche 1: “if you can’t handle the heat, get out of the kitchen, ie, Taiwan”
cliche 2: “I knew Lotharios, Lotharious was a friend of mine, Tomas, you’re no Lotharios”.
TonyC,
That was your first post so we will let you off. [/quote]
I retract the “letting off.” When I first read TonyC’s post I thought “stfu” was a typo. It just clicked that it stands for “Shut the f@#k up.” Complete lack of class. Tomas’ original post was a good one. He didn’t deserve insults from TonyC, Mod Lang, and Flicka.
Mod Lang.
Do you become aggressive when you drink? Your late night posts aren’t too pretty. I’m still trying to forget the post about your great sexual prowess.
There have been more than a few mornings when I’ve woken up with a hangover, vague recollections of posting, and it’s a relief to turn on the computer and see that I haven’t put anything too bad on Forumosa.
I see some of your argument, Wolf, but I think you are stereotyping. I would at least want to qualify your “significantly younger” in terms of maturity, not just caledar years. Similarity and/or acceptance of (different) cultural backgrounds is also an important consideration.
Pardon me? Did I insult in my first post? I did write, “Additionally, if you were truly the mature, older person, you wouldn’t allow yourself to be manipulated by suicide threats nor would you waste your time playing guidance counselor.” A hypothetical statement for his hypothetical examples.
I also told him, there, there, told him to move on, and even try older women for a change. And that’s insulting?
I feel for Tomas and wish him well. Life sucks bigtime sometimes.
He’ll be back. He’ll be okay.
AND
As for younger women, older men, whatever, if there is LOVE, it’s okay, and yes, wolf, is over-stereotyping it all.
Tomas wasn’t looking for a trophy girl. That’s just in Hollywood Wolf. If a man woman or a woman man thing hits on the love bug it doesnt matter their ages. Geez, wolfman jack, you sound like a man who has NEVER been in love before, I mean, crazy mad L’Amour Fou, crazy love, can’t live without you LOVE. have you? if you have, you wouldn’t put age difference down. no problem.
and as for younger men with older women, go for it girls! Yes.
there is such a LACK of LOVE in this world, that I feel that any LOVE connection with important, except of course with animals. i draw a line there, sexually. hehe.
[quote=“formosa”]there is such a LACK of LOVE in this world, that I feel that any LOVE connection with important, except of course with animals. i draw a line there, sexually. hehe.[/quote]Formosa, I never met you but you seem like a great guy from your posts.
However… this is not the first time you’ve got me thinking ‘WTF is going on in that dude’s head!!!’
[quote] Pardon me? Did I insult in my first post? I did write, “Additionally, if you were truly the mature, older person, you wouldn’t allow yourself to be manipulated by suicide threats nor would you waste your time playing guidance counselor.” A hypothetical statement for his hypothetical examples.
I also told him, there, there, told him to move on, and even try older women for a change. And that’s insulting?[/quote]I wouldn’t say insulting, pretty arrogant though.
[quote]Quote:
(Flicka, was it?) Pardon me? Did I insult in my first post? I did write, “Additionally, if you were truly the mature, older person, you wouldn’t allow yourself to be manipulated by suicide threats nor would you waste your time playing guidance counselor.” A hypothetical statement for his hypothetical examples.
I also told him, there, there, told him to move on, and even try older women for a change. And that’s insulting?
I wouldn’t say insulting, pretty arrogant though.[/quote]
Tomas’ original post could just as easily have been written by me. I would have been offended by your reply too. Thanks to Amos for his comment.
When I read Tomas’s post at the beginning of this thread it was as if he was writing about me. His experience seems to mirror mine exactly. And I can totally empathise with his situation.
Thanks to B.B., almas john, alien, omni, Boss Hogg, amos and a few others for contributing some intelligent comments to this thread. As for the others who have contributed nothing but flames, abuse or an “I know better” attitude Please remember we are talking about real people here with real emotions. It is not just some story made up in an internet chat room.
I don’t want to post every detail of my own experience. But I do hope Tomas’s post serves as a warning and if it prevents someone else from getting into a similarly terrible situation then that is a good thing. B.B. also posted some good advice here.
For those who are already in a bad situation here is my advice.
Make a clean break. Tell her very plainly and clearly that the relationship is not working out and there will be no further contact between you.
If you have mutual friends advise them of the situation and make it very clear that they should do their best to ensure that there is no contact. Often friends, particularly Taiwanese ones, will try to patch up the relationship or whatever. This doesn’t help it only makes it worse.
Move house, change jobs, get new phone numbers and do whatever else is necessary to prevent further contact. It may even be necessary to leave Taiwan.
Don’t blame yourself or feel guilty. Assess the situation and think about whose behaviour is reasonable. Asking someone not to contact you is a perfectly reasonable thing to do. Calling someone’s mobile phone 50 times in one day, following them around, entering their workplace and shouting abuse at them, threatening to commit suicide, etc. is not reasonable.
Learn from experience. You won’t make the same mistake(s) again.
[quote=“tmwc”][quote]Quote:
(Flicka, was it?) Pardon me? Did I insult in my first post? I did write, “Additionally, if you were truly the mature, older person, you wouldn’t allow yourself to be manipulated by suicide threats nor would you waste your time playing guidance counselor.” A hypothetical statement for his hypothetical examples.
I also told him, there, there, told him to move on, and even try older women for a change. And that’s insulting?
I wouldn’t say insulting, pretty arrogant though.[/quote]
Tomas’ original post could just as easily have been written by me. I would have been offended by your reply too. Thanks to Amos for his comment.[/quote]
OK, well, now we’ve got more than one person saying I was a dick and I think I owe Tomas and anybody else I offended an apology.
What can I say? It just seemed like Relationship 101, advice that a man over 25 should know already.
I also think it was odd, if not hypocritical, that he was complaining about Psycho Xiaojies but that he went beserk over very little provocation. I thought straight men were supposed to be a little more thick-skinned than that.
[quote=“B.B.”]
*Don’t let her think you’re just taking advantage of her body (unless she knows it well and agrees). Most women find it extremely unbearable and humiliating. [/quote]
What? I would beg to differ, but then I’m not sure what you mean.[/quote]
[quote=“wolf_reinhold”]You only want me for my body," says the young flower to the older horndog.
Isn’t your body part of you? So, isn’t the horndog glorifying you?[/quote]
In the Taiwanese society I know, some girls seek one-night stand or only sexual pleasure from an unattached relationship. In this case, you use each other’s body and have fun. That’s fine because you both know what game you’re playing and agree to it. Also, if you use a prostitute’s body, yes the cash you’re waving in your hand glorifies her. But many girls (if the society hasn’t changed too much from my recognition yet) who pursue normal, healthy and prospective longer-term relationships would like to be treated differently. I mean, a self-respected woman would hope you like her too, the person as well as the body, but not just use her body for sex purpose. If she finds out that all you want from her is just sex and except that, you don’t care a damn about her, then that’s unbearable and humiliating. BUT this unbearable and humiliating feeling doesn’t turn a mentally healthy woman into a psycho xiaojie. A woman who respects and loves herself will be angry and move on, but a woman who doesn’t respect or love herself will be angry but do things to humiliate and hurt herself.
Relationships don’t always work out, but some girls whose life and world revolves around her man can’t accept it when it happens. But most of them will still get over it as time goes by.
I don’t agree that women act like a psycho xiaojie (and how exactly did we turn our topic into psycho xiaojie? ) but that’s not my point here. I just have some random thoughts as I’ve heard storied about some foreigners who don’t seem to treat local girls the way they treat women back home, and about some silly Taiwanese girls who don’t know how and when to let go, partially because their bf (local or foreign) are too weak and coward to give clear enough breaking-up message.
Of course sex is very important in a relationship (short- or long-term). But to enjoy sex from each other is one thing, to have the feeling being used is totally different. Ok, this has nothing to do with Tomas’s story, just to clarity something I said in my earlier post.
You are all a bunch of mommies boys. Take care of yourself and stop complaing fuck being PC, tell it like it is. wipe your own noses and move on, stop acting like a bunch of cry babies complaining of lost love or crazy love, you get “rabbit cookers” everywhere not just in Taiwan.
There is only one way to solve your problems of love and that is to remeber “All is fair in love and war” and that “there are mnay fish in the sea” and that “the sun will rise in the morning” so waht if she dumpd you or you dump her be strong control your emotuions and for god sake people brow up you make me feel embarassed to be a foreign man over 30.
Stickyteflon, you’ve obviously never lived in Taiwan. The only thing you will find cooking on the stove is that pet chihuahua you bought at the night market because your girlfriend really, really thought it was cute.
Will somebody teach that guy to at least write proper english? There’s no point having the right to share your offensive opinions with everyone if you’re not capable of expressing yourself without making yourself look like a fool.
Flicka, don’t sweat it. I think Tomas was just venting, not actually starting Relationships 101. I know that older guys dating young girls can appear to be a bad reflection on the guy, but consider this. I’m 37 next month. How many girls my age are available and unencumbered with kids and don’t have some compelling reason for not having been snapped up already? I’ve met some real monsters and mentally unstable women who want nothing more than a western man to marry them. At least the young ones are still physically attractive.
This topic also got discussed at the ‘the one’ thread a while back.
[quote=“stickyteflon”]You are all a bunch of mommies boys. Take care of yourself and stop complaing fuck being PC, tell it like it is. wipe your own noses and move on, stop acting like a bunch of cry babies complaining of lost love or crazy love, you get “rabbit cookers” everywhere not just in Taiwan.
There is only one way to solve your problems of love and that is to remeber “All is fair in love and war” and that “there are mnay fish in the sea” and that “the sun will rise in the morning” so waht if she dumpd you or you dump her be strong control your emotuions and for god sake people brow up you make me feel embarassed to be a foreign man over 30.
take that and shove up[/quote]
Only 6 posts and I don’t like this guy already.
My suggestion is don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out of here.
How’d this thread start turning into a dumb flame fest? Sounds more and more like the Tea#$t I used to know.
[quote=“B.B.”]
Of course sex is very important in a relationship (short- or long-term). But to enjoy sex from each other is one thing, to have the feeling being used is totally different.[/quote]
But those who are ‘used’ let themselves be used, if they’re mature enough to be having sex in the first place. I really don’t think women can be used without knowing it. It’s incredibly naive to think that a long term relationship would form from a one night stand, even though millions have.
If you’re saying that women should expect some sort of committment once they have slept with a man, then that’s rather old-fashioned in this day and age. Western men coming to Taiwan are familiar with a different set of rules because women from their home countries are as promiscuous, if not more so, than they are. Upon encountering a young lady here who would have such high minded expectations after a sweaty night, I’d run like hell too! I’d run like hell from a man who did that! Yikes!
Please remember we are talking about real people here with real emotions. It is not just some story made up in an internet chat room.
) but that’s not my point here. I just have some random thoughts as I’ve heard storied about some foreigners who don’t seem to treat local girls the way they treat women back home, and about some silly Taiwanese girls who don’t know how and when to let go, partially because their bf (local or foreign) are too weak and coward to give clear enough breaking-up message.
