A teenager? I wouldn’t have the faintest idea what advice to give a teenaged girl with regards to seeking casual sex with lots of foreigners, other than that I’d imagine that she might find it a bit unfulfilling, but that’s only because that’s what I found when I sought casual sex with lots of foreigners.
But I’m a man and born in the 1950s. What the fuck do I know about what girls born in the late 80s would find fulfilling?
I WOULD point out the dangers of unprotected sex with strangers, though. Morals aside, it’s a high-risk pastime.
The most sensible thing written in this thread. :bravo:
I’d advise her to stay away from you. But that’s me.
The most sensible thing written in this thread. :bravo:[/quote]
If masturbation were really as good as or better than sex with a partner, wouldn’t men and women be staying away from each other altogether?
It’s better than sex with a drunken loser, granted, but I don’t know any woman, no matter how stupid and lacking in self-esteem, who actually has that as a goal when she sets out to find a one night stand.
So, no, as a woman I wouldn’t agree that that’s the best advice so far.
Once upon a time I met a tall, leggy, rather pretty 19 year old girl at a McDonald’s in Taipei. She was reading an english text book right next to me. We struck up a conversation, and became friends. She was fresh out of high school, and fresh off the bus from Chaiyi. She shared a little apartment with her older sister, and as such was not constrained by the normail parental controls. She was quite nice, naieve as all hell, but fun to hang with. We lived in the same neighborhood - so we saw each other a lot. From the begining it was clear that she wasn’t into me in a romantic way (which was kind of bittersweet - she was pretty hot – but way too young for me), so our relationship was rather like Loretta and his young friend’s. We were both new to Taipei - we didn’t know a lot of people, it worked our nicely for both of us - someone to have meals with, see a film.
At the time I was on the tail end of a “relationship” with a skanky club girl I had met at the legendary Buffalo Town. This girl was a total beeyatch, meanspirited and manipulative, who was a major player in the club scene and a classic example of the kind of slightly long-in-the-tooth Taiwanese girl who specializes in eating up fresh young Foreign guys and spitting them out. (Shit, she even once raped me - I kid you not, but that’s another story.)
After a while, I started to think that, in addition to my company, my pal from Chaiyi needed some female companionship, needed some female friends, as she really did not know anyone. For some reason, that still escapes me, I decided to introduce the sweet kid from Chaiyi to this Taipei maneater and her circle. I gave the maneater her phone number, and she said she’d call the girl up for a girl’s night out, or something. I didn’t hear from either of them for a couple-of-few weeks thereafter, which was unusual, especially for the girl from Chaiyi
One night I went out to RoxyII with some mates - the IN place for dancing and hook-ups at the time. Who should be there but maneater and her posse, including… the country bumpkin from Chaiyi - and you guessed it, she was all dolled up and utterly transformed. It was sort of like a bad John Huges movie. Suddenly this nice kid was full of 'tude, and she didn’t want to have anything to do with me. There were guys hitting on her left and right, and she made a point of showing this off to me.
Predictably, as the months and years passed by I saw her flow, like the maneater, from foreigner to foreigner - often a new guy each time I saw her. Chances are some of you know her, or have been with her, because she logged some very serious miles.
About a year or two before I left Taiwan, and 10 years after I first met her, I saw her again at a night club. When I approached her to say hello - she was still snotty with me, as if the kindness that I had showed to her when she was a newbie was totally forgotten. She looked old and haggered, and not at all a happy person. She was with some euro durnkard guy I knew vaguely, who was her foreign counterpart - a complete slut. They were perfect for eachother - that night.
To be honest, I felt sort of guilty each time I would see her out on the town sucking face with yet another edjit, becasue it was me who gave her life the nudge in the direction it took. But, I suppose all that she became was inherent to her personality, and she would have gotten there without my “help”.
(Maneater ended up marrying some poor guy from Sweeden 7-8 years her junior, just as she liked it. I can’t imagine what a living hell that guys life was after he realized what he had gotten himself into)
I guess my point is, Loretta, that you might just want to say adieu if your little mate goes down that path, because ulitmatley it’s a friggin silly lifestyle, and chances are she won’t be the same charming person you know now, after a while.
[quote=“mwalimu”]I felt sort of guilty each time I would see her, becasue it was me who gave her the nudge in the direction her life took.
[/quote]
Best advice I’ve read on this thread. But on the bright side (of a rather sad story) she made the decision, not you. We all have to be accountable for the decisions we make. She has no one to blame, and certainly not you.
Loretta, think about it this way. What advice would you give this girl if she really was your little sister or daughter? I would personally keep her away from the likes of Spicey.
This will probably be the end result.
This is good advice but I try to never get inbetween friendships/relationships of any sort. Who the hell am I to say who my friends are friends with? Although I might think it, I wouldn’t mention it.
Tough spot to be in. You care and the trick is to put distance between the two of you. You’ll need it in the end no matter which way it goes.
In the end, she will do what she wants. If she has a ons and hates it, she won’t have many more, if she does and likes it, well then, she’ll be Spicey Jr.
Just make sure she understands about condoms. You also might introduce her to some of the things guys say about girls who sleep around. If girls knew what guys REALLY thought of them, they’d never go home with guys in bars.
Speak for yourself. Nothing but respect from this quarter.
HG
Oh, I am slain, really. 
I know nothing about your country or what the people are like there. I do know something about the people here.
[quote]Ai-yo! You’re really making me spell it out. OK.
Here’s the difference between being a friend and being a parent:
Girl: Before I get into another serious relationship, I want to party and have one-night-stands! What do you think?[/quote]
That’s not what Loretta said she said. She wants a boyfriend but can’t find the time for one so she may as well turn to casual sex. Big difference. I already said if she said she wanted to experiment or stop being such a good girl or whatever, I would say go for it, though be careful. But that is not the picture I am getting here. She sounds like someone who can’t stand being alone and not having affection and so is ripe for this all turnign out to be something she regrets. I may be wrong but I doubt it. Not many woman can play the Sex and the City game and not dislike themselves afterwards.
So no condescension, no agenda. Give me another girl and a different story I will give another piece of advise.
And there are more roles in life than just parent and friend. Advisor is one. Like I said, it seems you’ve never had one. But they exist. And are invaluable. Mine is my older sister. She doesn’t tell me what to do but helps me to understand what it is I want to do. A friend puts up with all your wishy washyness and vacillations and self-pity. A parent worries. An advisor puts you straight.
You beat me to it (pun intended). Also, may I suggest the fine art of lesbianism. Maybe you can get her into girls, then graduate up to 2 girls on 1 guy.
jk.
On a serious note, I agree with Muzha in that:
She has no time for a relationship, but desires one (for both emotional and sexual needs, we presume).
Going down the ONS road is not exactly a solution. Is balancing work life with relationships really that hard? Give her encouragement to find a nice and horny guy if what she wants is a relationship. On the other hand, I knew a girl who married an older man, and became a now-and-then high-class courtesan on the side just to satiate her sexual needs.
She’s young. She’s got lots of time to make her mistakes and lots more time to realize how many she’s made. That’s what being young is all about, finding out about yourself.
The only concern I have has been alluded to many times . . old Spicey can’t seem to remember who she’s bonked, so one presumes she’s also sure how she bonked, glioved or otherwise.
At least tell her to get a better role model than dear old Spicey, someone who’s into it and up for it, sober and in control.
HG