When I had my Pinto it was just crazy.
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Til this happened
Edit: wait thats not a pinto.
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That’s a Gremlin, so not me!
Women love men who can drive and multitask. They think it’s very sexy.
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I think it works better below the Betelnut line, sorry I meant Cancer line, sorry I meant Tropic of Cancer.
Impressive.
Even more so. Fine male specimens.
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I feel like we offer a better and free counseling service. Maybe the wife some come on and give her side if all else fails haha. 
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Hi
I will try to provide some information.
Moving to NZ wouldn’t be a terrible option, I would want the house here sold though, and so far she isn’t willing on that as she thinks it’s a good investment.
If things went south in NZ, I would hold have more power over the situation than I do here, although the divorce law is a bit of a bitch, they don’t make it easy:
You have to be separated for at least 2 years before you can get divorced. You can live together for a total of 3 months during this time if you’ve been trying to fix your relationship.
Essentially you are stuck for 2 years living apart but still married 
.
We had individual counseling sessions yesterday, I raised the point about my wife speaking Chinese in the couples session and was told that won’t happen in future sessions and she will tell my wife that she needs to speak English in future couples sessions unless absolutely necessary and if that happens it will be translated.
The next session will be a couples session and it will be after CNY.
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Yeah that might take a lot of convincing. The traditional view here is that selling real estate is shameful and makes you lose face while buying it makes you gain face, of course (in the 2nd hand market, one does not go without the other tough).
I know, the reason I put that requirement is because if we leave here is that I don’t want any marital property in a foreign country in the case of divorce. As it would be hard for me from NZ to claim my share of such.
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It looks like divorce is more than likely going to happen.
My wife ended up talking about us and how I don’t make her heart beat faster and that she only felt that the first week we met. She went on to tell me about “Misattribution of arousal”, the bridge study at which point, I thought how does this relate to us.
We discussed that I am still not able to meet her expectations (our biggest issue and we can’t go on without solving it) in terms of “caring” for her and jumping to attention in situations that she expects (which I am totally blind to until she gets upset afterwards) and that she is not able to accept me as I am.
I asked, what can we do?
She said we can separate or otherwise we will be in the same conversation in six months time. (This is likely).
As previously she had threatened to take me to court (she said divorce judge, I assume she mean divorce lawyer), I asked her, if we do divorce can we negotiate things fairly ourselves without going to court, she asked why, I said because she controls a lot of things here (house, bank accounts etc).
That was it, she went off and told me she doesn’t want anything, that since I care only about money I can have everything, she took the ring we bought her and threw it at me and told me I have crossed her line and I really don’t understand her. She slept in the other room that night. Next morning she give me a letter she wrote signed saying she doesn’t want anything and that I can take what I like.
This not what I wan’t, I don’t even want to divorce but if the above issue cannot be solved there is no option as I can’t go on in the situation we have now). If we divorce I just want to divide things 50/50 and not have to get lawyers involved. I don’t want her to end up with nothing as she is implying.
Currently she is visiting her family with children for CNY, I am at home by myself. She is messaging me about what she needs to change the mortgage over to me etc.
I don’t want to do anything until we discuss and decide on a plan for the future (divorce or not, which country will we live in, some idea of how to care / share care for children) which I think will be best to do in the counseling meeting.
I just sent a reply saying that she should enjoy this time with her family and think about what she wants in future. If not with me then think about which country, sharing child care etc. We can discuss in the counseling session and deal with this other stuff later.
Next counseling appointment is 3 Feb.
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That night, she told me that one of the factors that made her want to leave me more was that one night “I said I can’t deal with her and want to leave her”. This only happened once and I said, sometimes people are upset and say things they don’t mean. It doesn’t mean I feel like that all the time. She said if I was mature, then I wouldn’t say that.
I said that she has told me she wants to leave me many many times. I don’t remember what she said at that point but the rough message was that it is ok for her to say that but not me.
Stick a fork in it, cuz it’s done.
Life goes fast. Gracefully exit this mistake and build a new better life for yourself and your kids.
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hope you find some happiness in the future after moving on from this bad egg, no offence.
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Good riddance. This is not somebody you want to spend the rest of your life with.
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Get the mortgage in your name and as much as you can before she changes her mind.
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Good advice. If she says she doesn’t want anything, get it in writing. If you want to give her half later, you still can. Don’t trust her to be reasonable about this when the time comes.
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He needs to get into as strong a negotiating position as possible for future child-care agreements etc.
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She absolutely, positively will not be reasonable about anything when the time comes!
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Wouldn’t one want the deed in one’s name and not the mortgage
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