Lot of families have nanny that live with them, take care of kids, cook and clean. I have part time one so
I don’t know really how much is salary for full time position. On Facebook group “Taipei parents” subject is often discussed.
Finding nanny that you and your wife trust is not easy job (but can connect you two doing mutial task). I have cameras inside house so always can check on nanny or kids.
Nanny also takes kids to school and wait after.
Edit:
Site with 13000 licenced nanny
Blunt, but, why care ?
You can’t affect how ppl feel(your wife), just forget about it and work on the stuff you can affect.
Work a bit, maybe get a gf(I know the legal aspect, but not a issue unless you are a factory worker), spend time with the kids, etc.
Useless to worry about the stuff you can do nothing about, just chill and take it as it comes.
This will NOT simplify things.
Just no.
Guy
Stupid advice that the OP should not follow.
that sounds like very immature and manipulative behavior.
its a power play on her part. she obviously knows she can walk all over you. if someone i was dating, let alone my wife said that to me i wouldn’t give her the time of day.
Of course it will not simplify.
But, if OP is unhappy why not make yourself more happy(in case a gf would do that)
I’m not saying per se he should get a gf, just that if that’s something that makes him feel better go for it.
The legal implications of cheating is more of a blue collar thing, so unless he’s a factory worker it’s not an issue
??? 
???
As a foreigner with less-than-excellent Chinese, OP is ill-equipped to manage any legal implications and would likely get screwed to the fullest extent of the law were he caught cheating.
Or even worse, caught and still unable to leave the marriage but faced with the wrath.
Well, thats why i said its a blue collar thing and I dont think its that dependent on your nationality (although being taiwanese would help)
Think for example Terry Guo or Han(the presidential candidate), both of these have had mistresses and it hasnt ruined their lives (although it has cost a bit of money).
Just saying, no reason to not enjoy your life and if there is some cost down the road take it then.
They aren’t foreigners for one.
That’s very very bad advice and bull. He can be incarcerated , be all over the news, and find it hard to work again. Blue collar thing only ? Please stop it you are encouraging him to break the law.
Is this professor blue collar ?
To all those that say get a gf. You can stop, I am not going to cheat on my wife, that is just wrong, legal or not, it’s wrong.
Stay true to your values.
You come across as a good man.
Guy
You sound like a very good guy. I asked my girl to read this post, she sometimes post here. We talked about this last night, more about how relationships work and your particular predicament came up.
She also agrees that you sound like someone who is just not standing your ground against her and letting her run you over. And I do believe your wife ends up resenting you for it at the end. I do believe respect is the root of what a man needs in a relationship, while women need love and care. The issue I see is she does not respect you for letting her constantly roll you over on things and threaten/manipulate you. She doesn’t find it sexy either, not many woman would. So the lack of sex starts, which leads you to resent her. Which is not good for any relationship.
Ask yourself why she doesn’t seem to respect you, a man who is doing everything a loving husband and father is doing. Someone who is good hearted and trying. Surely that’s something worth respect and even admiration don’t you think. Why your wife, does not want to have sex with you.
They say relationships are about give and take, and I do mostly agree with that notion. In any relationship, each party sees and test how much they can get away with. What are the boundaries. IME, women do this a lot. Learning to cut that kind of behavior out has improved all my relationships with women. Letting one side take too much is not healthy. Finding the correct balance of this power struggle is key to any relationship. You appeasing her in everything is not the solution to fix things, it’s what you have been doing.
Best of luck. Hope it works out for you.
And do something for yourself. Do you have personal time to do what you want? It sounds like it’s all about her schedule and what she wants to do and how you can accommodate her. This is not healthy for you.
I see three kids that are being affected by parents that are not making a family.
Sad. But marriage is a tough gig. You are having to put up with another human being 24/7. There are sixty four million ways how that can go almost. Marriage with kids is an even tougher gig. And especially where one is a foreigner. If she divorces a Taiwanese man she is going to be saying Goodbye to her kids. But you she’s looking for someone to take your place.
And you to just disappear from her life and her kids. Unless she doesn’t want the kids. Some ladies are not that into their kids.
I think marriage counseling is a great idea. I hope that you guys will find the way that works.
But do take a deep breath and give yourself credit for being a real man and handling the situation.
Get that income ,think of your kids, do the best you can for them. If their mom wants out ,ultimately you can’t stop her. There will be someone better for you too if that’s the case.
Life’s hard sometimes and most of us don’t like the cards we are dealt with.
But deal those cards play that game called life.
People go to jail for adultery. White collar people.
Which is pretty fucked up. The other party should have the right to unilaterally end the marriage, but fines and incarceration is utter nonsense.
Honestly, she doesn’t deserve you.
I’m not saying this is the case with the OP here , the wife did say one reason she dated me was I would lose my temper and go off on people. It doesn’t matter if I was right or not, it just meant nobody was going to walk over me (and her). This is supposedly the opposite of her father in terms of his aversion to conflict. I didn’t know this for years.
For reasons of health and sanity I’ve dialled it back a lot these days.
.
I don’t think all women agree with this so remember folks , it’s horses for courses out there ! Oh yeah and she wears the boots.
Thanks @Andrew0409 ,
It seems likely that it is part of it, In terms of boundaries I don’t really know where to start. My background is I was raised in the countryside and learnt to help out wherever I could. I feel bad saying no to people but at the same time expect them to respect what I do and reciprocate. Of course when it doesn’t go like that, resentment builds up and eventually gets me down.
I would say it is partly my fault, I don’t have as much confidence here as I would back home due to this not being my country and poor Chinese language skills. I rely on her for a lot of admin tasks (bank, government etc.) Naturally if we were in my country I would be doing such things.