I only read the summarized version of this thread, so sorry if it’s already been suggested, but would switching from TRA to HSR make much of a difference, or are you too far from the HSR station? (Or even the airport?)
No. He’ll no. No threats until you got your ass covered. Even then, remember she has the higher ground legally speaking. No.
You can assert yourself without threats. Yes, she is looking down on you right now, she does not respect you, yes. But you cannot reply in kind and cannot stoop to that level. You are an adult. Stay frosty.
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Any way to gain some space and perspective and regain sense of self. Controlling people wont relent unless something compels them.
My feeling is she will realize she needs him more than she thinks after hes gone a few days.
The APRC is so crucial…
After which she will change the locks, take his money, accuse him of abandoning them and he will end up with no marriage, no access to kids and no way to stay in Taiwan.
So not yet.
I prefer your idea of moving elsewhere, to a third country. But she will be very reluctant. There is no benefit for her and it demands a lot of effort.
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I hear you. My wife and I were able to work thru a similar experience with some space but youre right the risk is very high.
If shes that unwilling to work on the relationship it probably isnt worth preserving.
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We are 300m from zhongli tra station. Hsr would be no improvement as hsr station too far away. Airport mrt closest station is a21 3km away from our house, it goes past hsr, but overall don’t think it would save much.
Puyuma trains would save 10 - 15 mins each way but they are rare at our station and too late in the morning and too late returning at night.
I take ,Tze Chiang train home, it’s the best arrangement I can see.
Ah, typo. I meant.
budge
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Getting out of Zhongli to the east coast with your fam would help. fresh air, beaches, ocean all that
Just my two cents but… Stress can change a person. A couple of years ago my sweet wife turned into a madwoman threatening to jump to her death. She changed completely from the woman I dated. Now, a year later, she is back to normal and we are as happy as ever. Women in Taiwan are very different so it’s not fair to expect them to behave like a westerner.
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guys, he can legally stay here after a divorce even without an APRC. You’re forgetting you can get a JFRV if you have children with a Taiwanese passport. He’ll have the same open work permit.
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Getting a car?
We have a car, taking it to work takes 55 minutes in the morning. Yes it would save some time but my wife uses it with kids during the day. Also, parking in Taipei isn’t exactly cheap. I also don’t think saving 1 hour on commuting per day would solve the issues with my wife.
JFRV based on children’s passport has completely different benefits/requirements for the holder. I say still wait for being illegible for marriage based APRC before divorcing.
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Man, solution to your marriage problems seems quite simple. Get yourself nanny, put kids in buxiban…etc
Your wife is tired of giving birth and taking care of 3 kids. Kids will suffer less going to nanny or buxiban than having divorced parents.
Use that time without kids to invite your wife to dinner, cinema… something that two of you can reconnect
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Three kids in day care? 45k a month?
Having three kids with a woman he doesn’t get on with was the mistake, but nothing can be done about that now.
Divorce looks financially and logistically very difficult to me. I don’t think counselling will change her. IMO the classic Taiwanese loveless marriage is the most likely solution. Live together but ignore each other.
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OP, isn’t there a fair chance your wife will be reading all of this?
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you can also look at it the other way, 45k a month for a nanny is cheaper than child support and having to maintain a second household if you move out.
many marriages have a problem after 8 or 9 years, there is a fair chance they could have had an opposite problem, the wife could be too focused on the kids to have time for the husband…
from all the above posts, getting a nanny is the most practical , it will give both of them the time and space needed to work out their problems.
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I missed this. I 100% agree. She sounds like someone who need a an assertive man. That actually could be the root of the issue. Non assertive men can often be unattractive to women.
I would try this.
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Highly unlikely to be on this website, she is local Taiwanese, not interested in website aimed at foreigners. Anyway there is very little I have said here that hasn’t been brought up in one of our conversations already.
Two of our kids are in school / kindergarten, I walk them there at 7:30 and she picks them up at 4pm. The youngest is with her and I have spoken to her about sending him to a private kindergarten but she doesn’t like those kindergartens, too many bad stories in the news etc… I will try discuss it again.