Is it a Taiwanese cultural normality for the wife to be 100% in control of the finances?
There were no vows exchanged at our wedding … nothing expressing eternal trust or commitment. Just an acceptance to be husband and wife was exchanged. This has always bothered me in the back of my mind. We have been doing everything the Taiwanese way with no room or effort to add a bit of western culture into things.
My wife’s family has an ongoing history of infidelity and financial hardships and irresponsibility. She confessed to me last night that due to her family history and Taiwanese habits, she doesn’t trust men to be loyal. Her Aunts and mother have all brain-trained her to feel this way.
I am trying to deprogram that kind of thinking. I am not Taiwanese, I would never even think of cheating let alone cheat … I have expressed this to her but she still feels the same and because she feels this way, she wants me to give her 100% control of our finances … not even allowing me to have my name on the bank account. I just can’t agree to this. I think a relationship/marriage has to be 100/100 when it comes to trust. I feel we should have a joint account and work on our finances together.
What should I do? What kind of experiences have you married folk had? Are Taiwanese women naturally programmed to be paranoid about cheating … do they really think it is in the nature of men to cheat and that inevitably it will happen? That is just crazy!