Anti-Nagging Tactics

I think it is a well known fact (at least among the boys) that most women like to nag. I don’t know why–haven’t studied that course yet. I suppose there is some sort of instinct in most women to make their men better that manifests itself in a tendency to point out to him exactly where he falls short of perfection. Ask most men and they’ll agree that many women view nagging as both a duty and a hobby.

My intent here is not to offend. I will state for the record that I realize that some women don’t nag. Just who these miraculous beings are and where they live, I don’t know. I suppose on some lost island in the Mediterranean Sea, where men live to be 150 years old and die with smiles of joy rather than looks of relief on their faces.

Since most of my male friends complain on a regular basis about how their wives or girlfriends like to nag them, I thought we could discuss tactics for preventing, reducing, or heading off a good nagging session. You see, men hate being nagged, but we’re not allowed to act like we hate it. We’re supposed to accept it with joy, marveling at the wisdom of the insights into our character we’re receiving.

I’ll start the ball rolling with my personal favorite anti-nagging tactic: The Distraction Technique. Here’s how it works:

As soon as it looks like a good nagging session is getting underway, I’ll quickly think of an issue of great importance, such as the latest celebrity scandal, spring fashion, a problem with the kids or a relative, or our plans for the weekend. I’ll nod my head in agreement at whatever imperfection has been pointed out and then change the subject. Sometimes you have to keep at it, or hunt around for the right subject for a while, but I’ve found this technique to be about 90% effective, once your skills are finely honed.

A corollary technique is The Massage Technique, whereby you grab the lotion as you pretend to listen intently to today’s list of your imperfections and say “Honey, you’ve worked hard all day. Let me rub your feet.” Within about two minutes, the urge to nag has been overwhelmed by the pleasure of the foot rub, and you’re off the hook.

I have more tactics to share, but I’d like to hear from the group. In particular, I’d enjoy hearing from some of our female posters about the psychology of the nagging impulse, and what we can do to head it off (aside from that old canard “Just do everything right, and you won’t get nagged,” because that just isn’t happening. Most of us aren’t on par with old JC).

“Yes honey.” Repeat.

Divorce? :wink:

NNNNNNnnnnngAAAAAHrg! (I don’t know how to really spell it) OHHHHKAAAY! OhhhhhKAAAAY! In a MINUTE! In A MINUTE!

(PS This doesn’t work, but its usually the best I can come up with)

All the nagging directed at me is usually associated with hygiene issues. She is always nagging me to wash my hands, have a shower (she thinks all foreigners smell like cheese), or to stop eating in the bedroom. My response? I tell her to throw out some of her junk. She collects way too many things. If I get nagged at, I start nagging.

Anti-nagging device - duct tape.

from Wiki:

[quote]Quick definitions (duct tape)

noun: a wide silvery adhesive tape intended to seal joints in sheet metal duct work but having many other uses (Example: “Duct tape holds the world together”)[/quote]

I am lucky that my wife is not at nagger. We’ve had our share of arguments, which consist mainly of her yelling at me and me trying not to laugh. But we are getting older and mellower and I pretty much know what I can get away with now.

don’t let it become a habit. end it quick whenever it starts. prioritize. if it’s not especially important, or doing it is not really going to bother you, just do it. if it seems important to you, make it clear up front that you’re not going to bend. make this reaction as unpleasant or preferably worse than the nag. this may lead to some short term arguing/hassles but it will play out better in the long term.

i’m not sure rewarding nagging with a foot rub fits into this scheme, lol.

this is my friends tactic against PMS, and must very well work for nagging as well.

Always keep a full box of chocolate in the fridge, then when “shit” goes down you throw the chocolate towards her (not at her, or hitting her with it).

[quote=“2wild4canucks”]this is my friends tactic against PMS, and must very well work for nagging as well.

Always keep a full box of chocolate in the fridge, then when “shit” goes down you throw the chocolate towards her (not at her, or hitting her with it).[/quote]

So everytime the toilet works correctly, she gets a free chocolate? That’s criminal!

[quote=“Funk500”][quote=“2wild4canucks”]this is my friends tactic against PMS, and must very well work for nagging as well.

Always keep a full box of chocolate in the fridge, then when “shit” goes down you throw the chocolate towards her (not at her, or hitting her with it).[/quote]

So everytime the toilet works correctly, she gets a free chocolate? That’s criminal![/quote]

you gotta be kiddin ! -.-

i dunno how chocolate throwing-tactic work, but it just does for my friend.

“Not now, I’m watching the game. Oh, and while you’re up, get me a beer.” :smiling_imp:

If this is the best you guys can do, I’d say that you pretty much suck.

I will give Chewy a few points for the counter-nag maneuver. I hadn’t thought of that–curse of the overly nice Nordic genes. Still, so far I have to declare myself the master of subtle anti-nagging techniques.

And Tempo Gain, the foot rub is not a reward for nagging. It is a distraction technique. As soon as she starts complaining about how you never stick to your diet and exercise plan or some such nonsense, you whip out the lotion. You rub her feet long enough, and you buy an extra night out with the boys. See how it works?

Please tell me I am not the only man who knows how to nip nagging in the bud. You guys don’t actually get angry or sulk or something like that, do you? Amateurs.

And if you’re reading this thread and thinking to yourself “My wife doesn’t nag,” what the hell are you doing reading this forum? You should be out doing things most of us aren’t allowed to do.

A friend of mine threatens a break-up when his SO starts nagging. He says it works.

I sometimes find myself saying “Honey, you can make all the big decisions. But please don’t micro-manage.” (Like when she tries to correct me on how to tie my shoes, or stop me from drinking cold beverages.)

The only anti-nag technique that I know from my own experience is: work on making your relationship a happier one.

I hate nagging, but I remember a time when I found myself doing it, towards the end of one of my relationships - the one I was really unhappy to be in. Nagging Tash is so ugly, I’d never want to see myself go there again.

But if you’re lookining for a quick fix in a particular moment, then I have a tip that used to work for me when I was living with a nagging man. As soon as he’d start about the dishes, the money or whatever else I wasn’t doing up to his standards, I’d run over to him and smile and give him a big hug and a kiss. That would usually shut him up. If the case was more severe, I’d grab him by his bum or go for his crotch in real emergencies. :smiley:
That’s not just for men. That kind of tactic would work on me too.

Also, Tomas, this elusive, utopian place you speak of where women who don’t nag live on is a perfectly normal place to me. If I think of the four couples closest to me, only one is with a woman who nags, but in their relationship the husband is a nag too. The two of them behave now, at thirty, as I imagine them behaving at seventy.
The other couples are a joy to be with. And I’m not talking about just visits, I’ve been on holidays with them and even lived with two of them for a while. I’m not saying they don’t ever fight, but none of them nag.

While living in Taiwan I noticed nagging was quite normal for Taiwanese young women (I dont 'know older women) and not even something they’re ashamed of, to the contrary.
One of my dearest friends used to embarrass her boyfriend in front of us girls for all kinds of “transgressions”, nagged him to death on everything. If I tried to argue with her she would laugh and tell me: “But that’s how you’re supposed to talk to men, la. Otherwise they won’t learn how to do things right.” I tried to be smartass about it and said: “So, you’ve been nagging your boyfriend of 8 years the same way about the same things for how long?”. She said: “He, he. I know what you try to say, Tasha, but that is how things are in Taiwan. If I get a foreign boyfriend maybe I do different. He, he!” We both laughed because we knew she wouldn’t do different.

My man is such a nag I’ve quit drinking bottled water and call him before I make my work schedule. I would not say it is only a female trait.
But I now know how my exes felt. He nags me about all the same shit I usually nag others about (he is more of a hippie than I am).

Tomas, you know, you’re off your diet again. I thought we agreed that you would put your shoes on the shoe rack, Tomas. Well, they’re sitting on the floor beside the shoe rack. And your buddy called today about the boys night you’re NOT having this weekend. I told you, my mother is comming to visit and she wants to take US to dinner. Yes, you have to go. We have already talked about this.

(My feet are tired and the lotion is warm and ready, babe!)

When I hear a sentence that begins with the dreaded
“Honey why you always…”

I reply with
“Well, if I didn’t, you’d have nothing to complain about. I do it for you because I know how much you love to complain”

Works everytime.

Update: WARNING! “Well if its that important to you, why don’t you do it your fucking self?” is not recommended. At all.