Ok…in all seriousness…
Unless I am wrong, I will debate it with her and explain why I does what I does. I don’t shy away from controversy.
If I am wrong, I will admit it and try to mend my ways. None of us is perfect.
Admit straight up she’s spot on and you’ve fluffed, and will try harder from EXACTLY THAT POINT ON.
My woman doesn’t nag, she goes quiet - that’s worse than nagging, cuz you’ve got nothing to work with.
I’m going to have to check my apartment for hidden microphones…
Funk 500, consider yourself lucky that she doesn’t begin the sentence with “What you’re doing (has all kinds of consequences)”
The thing that drives me nuts about my wife, and makes me love her so much, is that she’s right about just about everything. When she’s wrong, and it is rare, she does have the ability to admit it and apologize. And don’t think its just that the bloom isn’t off the rose yet. We’ve been together for almost four years now, and are raising a baby and older ones together. No illusions folks.
I’ve often said two things to describe marriage:
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You can marry a totally relaxed person who will let you get away with murder and you’ll probably have to do most of the difficult stuff yourself. That is fine, if that’s what you want. Or, you can marry a smart woman/man who knows how to get things done, and just accept the fact that his/her way is often better than your way.
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As a man, never forget that you are much bigger pain in the ass to live with than you ever imagined.
Having said that, I do get quite a lot of room to be myself. I’m just having fun here, in case someone is actually taking me seriously.
Housecat, you turkey, you’re taking my well-thought out tactic and pointing out all of the holes in it. I’m dealing with a smart woman here, so yeah, she’s probably figured out that if she nags a bit I get sweeter. Damn it, I hate being the dumber one in the relationship.
Tash, I know a lot of women don’t nag. I also know that nagging is a national sport for most Taiwanese women. My wife is actually pretty relaxed compared to what some of my friends deal with.
Today I told my wife that I was going to limit her to three nags, three days a week, with a special exemption for vacations, where she can nag me five times if flying and eight times if driving (to allow for “you’re driving too fast/slow” situations). She just laughed at me. 
A TW woman married to our British friend even started nagging MY husband, probably because I don’t nag him and she thought someone had to do it… 
Anyway, my husband doesn’t deal well with such annoyances, and he is also a very witty guy, so you can imagine what transpired. He turned it right around on her and started pointing out her faults and shortcomings back at her, which went over very well. Needless to say, after a few times of that, she pretty much hated my husband. It was hilarious.
The Counter-Nag, the Affection countermeasure, and the Compliment diversionary tactic are all in any self-respecting gent’s arsenal.
I’ve also been know to:
- play some original music on the guitar to soothe the savage beast.
- Immediatley start action on a task seemingly unrelated to the issue at hand.
- Try to have the conversation in Chinese, or even Afrikaans. Which leads to lots of wasted time about correct terminlogy/translation.
- Suggest we go out at once to eat to discuss the shituation.
- The pre-emptive strike, which entails all the perceptive antennae that the dim-witted male sex can muster. It’s hard to sustain, but there really are moments where a full-blown nag session is given away by the body language, diction & tone of the other half. In my own case, I listen for heavy-footedness, almost, but not quite on a stomping level. Then, I immediatly draw attention to some household deed/task I did in the last 24 hours, of which she was not aware. I did the deed/task not because it’s high up on the list of chores for the week, but for the sole purpose of providing the means to nip the nagging in the bud.
One is met by snorts or grunts of derision but at least 90% of the time it deflects the nagger, leaving the naggee time to ponder the next array. And a few beers, for a fine day at the psyops range.
For tomorrow is another day in which the sky may fall on our heads.
Ours, is not to reason why!
You lucky bastard!
A defense mechanism I used to use was staring at the computer screen, absolutely immersed in my activities, financial related, giving me the excuse to totally zone out, and i did manage to zone out anything, definitely nagging, but even ordinary inquiries, which had to be repeated at high volume in order to break through. Haven’t done it much lately though.
I read about this technique for training animals, that apparently also works for people. Ignore any unwanted behavior, and reward desired behavior. Not sure how this would work to make someone stop nagging, but you might try telling the SO about it so s/he starts using this method instead of nagging. It would be less annoying.
i am only good at escaping from nag-related-coversation. -.- get up go to washroom or go outside to play with my dog.
Many Taiwanese women have explained to me, about the time I was thinking of getting married, that I have to nag my husband because it shows love. Taiwanese women are more jealous because they love their men more, and they only nag because they love them. If they don’t love you–they don’t care–so they don’t nag. So, next time your woman nags, just hear it for what it is–a sonnet of love!
One closer comment I’ve found when the nagging gets too much -
“I never expected my 1st wife would give me so much small-talk problems.” She doesn’t really understand the term ‘nag’…this is what we use to describe it.
It took awhile for her to understand what I was saying. It works…so far.
Another trick is to follow her comments with agreements and supposed understanding…then asking her to…“Wait one minute Honey…”…and shuffle out to my work room and do something to a piece of wood for an hour or so. When I come back the wind is usually out of her sails.
Or I just leave the house and go for a walk.
I have to say that my heart goes out to you men with nagging, possessive and controlling wives or girlfriends…why on earth do you put up with such behaviour? Really, I want to know, why do you put yourselves through it???
My Taiwanese wife never nags me, even though I probably sometimes deserve it.
All credit to you chaps who do put up with it though.
pulpwriter, that’s a tough situation. And like someone said, it’s beyond nagging. She may have her valid reasons for being emotionally unstable, but you’re allowed to take it to heart and consider whether or not you’ll be happy in the long run.
Heck, you deserve your own thread about this, or three even, ask Baas Babelaas 
I’m perplexed at this, too. Maybe it’s conditioning? Maybe they grew up watching their moms nag their dads and them, so they expect it from their wives?
I dated a guy who wanted to be nagged. Said it made him feel cared for. I told him to find a motherly type to date then.
Another one, a serious bf, sort of hinted that he expected (not liked) the nagging as part of the deal. He said: “You’ll see. When we move in together you’ll be yelling at me for leaving my socks everywhere.” I said: “Only if you’ll yell at me for leaving my bras and thongs everywhere”… so we did move in and we didn’t nag each other about the underwear or anything like that, but I did lose it every time he left a wet towel on the bed or somewhere else where I sat. :fume: It’s a pet peeve of mine.
My technique is to think about what they are actually nagging about and then if its something simple and habitual, I will change my habits because its less annoying than listening to her go on about it.
e,g, Switching all the lights off even though they use f’all electricity. Far less for example than her showers compared to mine.
If its something dumb, then a good toasting is in order. Eventually the relationship gets to a point where I’ve modified my life a bit to make her more comfortable and she stops making dumb requests because she doesn’t like me to make her feel stupid.
e.g. drinking cold drinks. Its fucking stupid. Do most Taiwanese wait for their drinks to warm up after buying them from 7-11? because I didn’t see any that were not refrigerated…
[quote=“Tomas on April 1st, 1:20 am”][quote=“Indiana”]
I have to say that my heart goes out to you men with nagging, possessive and controlling wives or girlfriends…why on earth do you put up with such behaviour? Really, I want to know, why do you put yourselves through it??? Sad[/quote]
Yeah, next time my wife tells me I’m driving too fast or reminds me to cover the pot when I’m cooking tomato sauce, I’ll be sure and divorce her right away Laughing out loud… . Come on now, let’s not lump a clear case of emotional abuse in with a person having the gumption to make a suggestion once in a while. Nagging once in a while, something that many people do, and attacking someone’s character on a regular basis, something that far fewer people do, are two very different situations. [/quote]
[quote=“Tyc00n”]My technique is to think about what they are actually nagging about and then if its something simple and habitual, I will change my habits because its less annoying than listening to her go on about it.
e,g, Switching all the lights off even though they use f’all electricity. Far less for example than her showers compared to mine.
If its something dumb, then a good toasting is in order. Eventually the relationship gets to a point where I’ve modified my life a bit to make her more comfortable and she stops making dumb requests because she doesn’t like me to make her feel stupid.
e.g. drinking cold drinks. Its fucking stupid. Do most Taiwanese wait for their drinks to warm up after buying them from 7-11? because I didn’t see any that were not refrigerated…[/quote]
Yes, this is the kind of annoying nagging I am talking about (not being asked to put a lid on the sauce, Tomas 
). I saw that all too frequently while in Taiwan. “This / that is so baaaaaaad…you drink too much…you crazy…do this, do that…you so stupid…” and on and on and on at the hands of many, many of my friends. And the slapping too! Ugh. :fume: Not to mention the control and keeping their men under the thumb and giving them the silent treatment if they didn’t get their way.
My husband and I would just look at each other in wonder, like, why on earth do they put up with this? Were they nice and sweet till they got married, and then turned into a major bitch after the fact or something? Or were the men we know that crazy that they married their SOs after they already knew what they were like??? I would always feel pity, but my husband would always say, “Hey, it’s their own faults. They are grown men and they should have known what they were getting themselves into.” Gluttons for punishment maybe? 
I remember coming home after work one night and a lady friend visiting from down south was so impatient with me (as I had to make a quick 2 minute call upon walking in the door) that she nagged, “Why you have no tender words for me?” in a tone not even approaching tender.
I politely opened the door and asked her to leave. That was that.
Of the hundreds of lovers that have crossed my bed lo these 30 odd years of sexual activity, she is the only one I wish to never see again. I saw the signs of incessant nagging early on and nipped it in the bud. Plenty of fish in the sea.
[quote=“Toe Save”]I remember coming home after work one night and a lady friend visiting from down south was so impatient with me (as I had to make a quick 2 minute call upon walking in the door) that she nagged, “Why you have no tender words for me?” in a tone not even approaching tender.
I politely opened the door and asked her to leave. That was that.
Of the hundreds of lovers that have crossed my bed lo these 30 odd years of sexual activity, she is the only one I wish to never see again. I saw the signs of incessant nagging early on and nipped it in the bud. Plenty of fish in the sea.[/quote]
Hundreds, eh?
[quote=“housecat”][quote=“Toe Save”]I remember coming home after work one night and a lady friend visiting from down south was so impatient with me (as I had to make a quick 2 minute call upon walking in the door) that she nagged, “Why you have no tender words for me?” in a tone not even approaching tender.
I politely opened the door and asked her to leave. That was that.
Of the hundreds of lovers that have crossed my bed lo these 30 odd years of sexual activity, she is the only one I wish to never see again. I saw the signs of incessant nagging early on and nipped it in the bud. Plenty of fish in the sea.[/quote]
Hundreds, eh?[/quote]
I am being conservative. 
I’ve always respected strong domineering women. In my relationship with my wife, I am definitely the woman. I get nagged multiple times each day. Just last night my wife gave me a lecture saing that I use too much toilet paper. 
I see it as karma. When I was younger (my teen years), I was a bit of a bully. This is God’s way of getting revenge. I’m destined to be nagged until old age (although with my drinking and smoking habit, I’ll probably make it not far past middle age ).