[quote=“XinBiDe”]
What is the matter with making a child feel ashamed of what they’ve done so that they won’t do it again? [/quote]
Because (and here’s an epiphany for you) IT DOESN’T WORK! Just makes them hate you. Well done! :bravo:
I don’t “beat the shit” out of my kid, Jimi. And never will. I WILL, however, retain the short sharp shock in my box of tools and effects. And no matter how much you lot blabber away about “beating” and whatever, I will continue to do so, in the firm belief that I am doing the absolute right thing.
I wasn’t referring to you, Mr Sandman. You are a wonderful man and, I’m sure, a great father. Was just throwing my personal feelings about the issue out. And how being hit as a kid affected me.
And anyway, that’s bollocks, mate. Did a spanking teach you anything? Yeah, how to be more discrete about your indiscretions, right? 
Beating the shit out of them might by hyperbole. That is definitely not my interest in this conversation. It is just that if you are going to be subject to violence its better to get a taste of it from a loving and instructive hand. When it comes to abuse that’s simply a different issue. I can see the distinction. It’s also better to teach your kids to stand up for themselves in violent situations. As a child all my best friends were the kids I fought with win-lose-or-draw. That was true all through elementary school and into high school. That is a respect thing and I think that is well and truly entrenched in our genes. Those friendships wrought from the ruff-and-tumble of the playground were real emotional bonds not some intellectual connection. I follow my footy team now based on a fight with a friend which I lost. The whole point was to settle which team we were supporting.
More utter bollocks. I taught myself to look after myself in the playground. I REALLY didn’t need my Mum’s heavy hand to “teach” me the value of violence. All it did was lower my self-esteem and make me more violent. Carry on, guys.
But Jimi, you’ve already admitted that you’re talking about sheer abuse. That’s a different issue entirely, and I can read your pain, even now, and I emphathise. But its a different issue. Some might say its a question only of degree, but I would disagree vehemently with that. It isn’t.
But, Sandy, will you please illuminate me here. What possible expediency is to be gained from hitting someone? Anyone?
[quote=“jimipresley”][quote=“XinBiDe”]
What is the matter with making a child feel ashamed of what they’ve done so that they won’t do it again? [/quote]
Because (and here’s an epiphany for you) IT DOESN’T WORK! Just makes them hate you. Well done! :bravo:[/quote]
Sure worked for me. My parents spanked me two or three times, but the spanking wasn’t what corrected my behavior. It was the timeouts, the “I’m really disappointed in you” talks, making me realize I had hurt my brother and how I would feel if I were him, etc.
As a teacher I kind of think a paddling may be the only way to discipline kids, but in many cases it just works to their advantage and makes them seem cooler to the others. Instead, belittling them works wonders in my class. Try to sleep in class? Fine, I’ll take your desk and make you stand. Yes, they are bitter for a good 20 minutes or so, but they inevitably come around. Hit another student? Nothing a good loud yelling at can’t fix. But parents need to be the ones to teach them WHY those things are wrong, and since there is almost no such thing as a good Taiwanese parent at my school, I’d venture to guess that’s where these kids have gone wrong.
How does my beating him make him strong??? On the contrary, he will think it’s okay too get hit!!! My husband is a man’s man, has never hit and has never gotten hit. His dad was in the paramilitary, so it was no sissy upbringing, just no hitting (or yelling ) by his parents. He doesn’t yell at our kids either.
Don’t you dare think, I am raising weak kids. Ask Jimipresley and he’ll tell you how I teach my daughter to use her words and voiceferously say NO to anything that annoys her.
Sandman, I don’t hit my son and yet HE even at this age takes no shit from anyone. He tackles boys twice his age. I teach my kids to stand up for themselves, not hit them black and blue into submission to teach them playground rules.
Having had a daughter first, I fully understand how manly and independent and fearless this tyke of mine is. I just don’t believe in strengthening his hide myself. Life will do it. And we will cross that bridge when it comes. You can ridicule how sissy my son will be in the future, but the future’s not ours to see. ANd despite your impressive use of onomatopoeia you are waaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy off the mark saying that hitting a child at home makes him stronger in the playground.
You’re right about that.
I say this again Sandman, you want to beat your child, hit him, scare him whatever, your call. I won’t hit mine, and if he doesn’t do as well as little sandy does in his life, he will atleast have had a great childhood.
Jimmy, 
It’s extremely courageous of you to say that. 
[quote=“XinBiDe”]
As a teacher I kind of think a paddling may be the only way to discipline kids, but in many cases it just works to their advantage and makes them seem cooler to the others. Instead, belittling them works wonders in my class. [/quote]
You’re at the cutting edge of child psychology, my friend. I would love to read one of your papers on eugenics. :bravo:
I was never “beat up as a child” except when I got sucker-punched in the eye in 7th grade.
Spankings, however, did happen on occasion, and yes, it DID work. And , no, it didn’t make me hate my mom or teachers for more than a few hours.
In 5th grade PE class for acting up with a friend.
In 8th grade math class for talking out after the teacher warned me several times.
By my mom when my brother and I were fighting.
And I still didn’t hate my mom long term even after strapping me from the shoulder blades to the calves with a leather belt after she caught me smoking in 5th grade. To this day I’ve never even thought about smoking.
Do I condone severe whippings? No. But I see no issue with a swatted butt given by a parent. As a teacher I sometimes have felt like I’d like to paddle some kids, but the psychology of it doesn’t work on inner city jr high and high school kids, and the legalities of it wouldn’t fly anywhere in the USA or Taiwan that I know of.
Look, if your friend offends you, would you give him/her a smack? Undoubtedly no. Even if they act like an idiot and get drunk at your sedate soiree, piss on the floor, break glasses, grope your wife/husband? Probably not. You’d merely erase them from your friends list on Facebook and/or give them a severe talking-to. And that’s an ADULT. Who has a perception of what is ethical/moral. But if a child transgresses, you’ll deal with it with a smack. Victor Mature, that shit.
That is very sad Jimi
So you would say to your wife "oh sorry dear about him groping you I will take him off facebook and never talk to him again".
Why not just give him a balck eye at the time then when he is better you both go out for a drink and put it behind you and shake hands like men?
Seema far more civilized than ignoring someone like a little kid would do to his best friend after a squabble lol
[quote=“jimipresley”][quote=“XinBiDe”]
As a teacher I kind of think a paddling may be the only way to discipline kids, but in many cases it just works to their advantage and makes them seem cooler to the others. Instead, belittling them works wonders in my class. [/quote]
You’re at the cutting edge of child psychology, my friend. I would love to read one of your papers on eugenics. :bravo:[/quote]
Okay now I am confused what has eugenics and selective breeing got to do with corporal punishment to kids?
If he groped my wife and I’d knock his feuking head off! I’m not joking either. You take no physical action when someone gropes your wife. That is very sad.
So you woudl say to your wife “oh sorry dear about him groping you I will take him off facebook and never talk to him again”.
Why not just break his nose at the time then when he is better you both go out for a drink and put it behind you.
Seem far more civilized than ignoring someone like a little kid would do lol[/quote]
Very civilized. :bravo: Drunk people do silly things sometimes that aren’t always entirely malicious. If my best friend “groped” my wife whilst drunk, I wouldn’t beat him up. I would merely eject him from my home and probably never speak to him again unless he got down on his knees and made sincerest apologies all around. Even then, he’d be in the dogbox. Now, with kids, you say we should just hit them and all the problems will be solved? :raspberry:
Edit: Mr Fenlander, would you please stop editing your posts after I’ve replied to them? Makes for an incoherent discussion.
If he groped my wife and I’d knock his feuking head off! I’m not joking either. You take no physical action when someone gropes your wife. That is very sad.
So you woudl say to your wife “oh sorry dear about him groping you I will take him off facebook and never talk to him again”.
Why not just break his nose at the time then when he is better you both go out for a drink and put it behind you.
Seem far more civilized than ignoring someone like a little kid would do lol[/quote]
Very civilized. :bravo: Drunk people do silly things sometimes that aren’t always entirely malicious. If my best friend “groped” my wife whilst drunk, I wouldn’t beat him up. I would merely eject him from my home and probably never speak to him again unless he got down on his knees and made sincerest apologies all around. Even then, he’d be in the dogbox. Now, with kids, you say we should just hit them and all the problems will be solved? :raspberry:[/quote]
No I never said "just hit them and all the problems will be solved". I don’t think anyone has said that. You are not suggesting I said that are you as I ever have said that ?
I have no hard feeling against teachers that used corporal punishment against me. At the time i believe it was warranted. However I have never used it against my child but will not say those that do are wrong to do so. Using it as a from of punishment is different to using it as a form of bullying by the stronger against the weaker.
After all I am sure you prefer the humiliation belittling approach do you not?
Ah i can guess your method. 500 lines on common grammar and spelling mistakes by 9pm :roflmao:
Well, that’s a compelling argument. However, where is the line drawn between bullying and discipline? Please illuminate me. I’m a little thick. Perhaps I need a good slap.
Please, as a matter of respect, don’t edit your posts after they’ve been replied to.
However, where is the line drawn between bullying and discipline? Please illuminate me. I’m a little thick.
Me too.
The difference is fairly easy for most to grasp.
Bullying is getting a power trip from hurting and humiliating others either psychologically or physically. It serves no purpose other than to satisfy the twisted needs of the bully.
Discipline is provided to prevent the child from inflicting damage to either themselves or others. This sometimes involves inflicting an unpleasant action on the receipient although far less unpleasant in orders of magnitude than the damage that could be sustained on them or others if the particular bad behaviour was to remain unchecked.
Now as to what form that discipline should take is the purpose of this discussion. Cleared up?