I don’t go out at night to chase girls. I work, but not enough (my low insufficient salary says it’s not enough, also the low amount of hours I work). I take care of my kids. I am still fat. I am exhausted. Maybe Long Covid? Maybe I am just out of shape and old? Yes, probably. Or both. Questions are at the end. Also something else at the end. But first the yarn.
Beyond Virgins - The Yarn
Some weeks ago, after I broke up again with my almost autistic half-orphan girlfriend from the Philippines, who has a work with near slave-like conditions in a factory here in this wonderful vibrant democratic country, the heart of Asia, some say; well some weeks ago, one of my students asked me if we could be together again. She asked me one year ago, I said yes, but she just wanted to hold hands and walk in the park for one year before we could kiss for the first time. I quitted that after I knew about her plan. She asked me again, like I just say, one year later. Because during VirginTimes Season-1 I told her very clearly that I can’t wait to just kiss and that for me being together includes sex, I thought she wanted to finally stop being a virgin and have sex with me.
Oh! Poor dear me, how mistaken I was! I don’t know why I waited until the second date to make a move. I should have asked her about this topic before saying yes. I really can’t understand what the f@*k was she thinking. That I suddenly have embraced abstinence? What an incredible waste of time.
I got angry when I asked directly about it, and she told me that, during her teen years, some of her friends had a boyfriend, and they used to go to the park, hold hands and walk, maybe go to the cinema sometimes, and she wanted to have that kind of relationship and do only that. No kiss, no sex. Just that. Like her friends from the time she was 13 years old. She is 24 or 25 now, I think.
After getting angry, I got sad. I thought and I think she is delusional. Who will agree to do just that with her? Will she become one of those 30 something virgins? And then what? Everyone deserves a good orgasm. From couple sex. Not from your hand or a toy. Sometimes I think, virgins over 25 should be sent to Kinmen.
During that period of time a girl from Taipei who I’ve been chatting to (Tinder to Line) wanted to come here to South Taiwan, let me be imprecise, to visit me. She said she would stay maybe one night at my apartment, just to know me and spend some time with me. I agreed, although at that time I thought it was a little bit strange for a girl from Taipei to come to visit me. One night became three nights. She came from Taipei, how could I say no? And she talked to me kids very nicely, they seemed to like her. Now I couldn’t say for sure because I don’t remember clearly, but I think she is also an orphan of some degree. That is always a positive thing for the marriage in my opinion. I felt she was a little bit too interested in me. We just chatted online and during the first hour of being in my apartment she already invited us to join Chinese New Year (yes, I know, Lunar New Year) at her family’s apartment in Taipei. That surprised me and at that moment I thought it was a crazy thing to do. Why invite us to such a meaningful celebration with her family if she just was with us for about half an hour? Very suspicious.
Since those days and after breaking up with that virgin student for the second time, we kept texting each other, the girl from Taipei and me. She works at a hospital, she is really very busy. Well… So she says, but I believe her. I also texted with my almost autistic almost orphan Filipina ex-girlfriend every day. She asked me to do so, and I am fond of her, so we do. We just check every day if we are still alive, no long conversations. “Good morning”, “how was your day”, “Goodnight, sweet dreams”.
The girl from Taipei wanted to visit me again. I was surprised. It has to be my low self-esteem. I asked about it, “you are a good person” she said. I couldn’t disagree, but is this enough for a trip from Taipei to Somewhere in South Taiwan? Because of her busy schedule and some unplanned things that happened to her, we kept postponing that trip. During that time, I met with my Filipina ex-girlfriend once, just to drink a cup of coffee. Then a second time, because I missed her. And then a third time and… Well, I have an almost autistic almost orphan Filipina girlfriend for the third time. And it is the same girl all those three times.
My kids say I am a bad person because I make people dizzy. I try to explain it, but without success. I make them dizzy too, it seems. Maybe they are right, a little bit.
I had to tell the girl from Taipei about this development with my Filipina now girlfriend. She wants to visit me anyway and stay at my apartment anyway. I am the one who is dizzy now. Whatever I say, she finds a way to rationalize her coming down here. She called me this morning and was sobbing for a minute while talking to me. Recently it was my birthday, and she bought me a present. She asked me for my address to send me the present, as it seems it makes no sense to visit me and give it to me in person. I shared my address with her, with my name and cellphone number. I have to say, it felt like a risky thing to do. But I like extreme sports since I was a teenager, so… I did. Short after, she said, maybe she can visit me and stay somewhere else, not in my apartment.
She looks ok. She has a normal job. Her life looks stable from the outside. Why the huge interest? I am divorced and with kids. Poor and fat. I just don’t get it.
Before Covid-Times, there was a girl from the East Mountains in Taiwan who appeared to be ready to leave everything and start a new life with me, although we had never even meet in person.
I think many people are lost in life. Me too, maybe. They just want to jump out of their life and land somewhere else. It doesn’t matter if it is a floating piece of wood in the middle of the ocean.
The questions:
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Should Taiwanese virgins over 25 (both male and female) be sent to Kinmen?
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What could the huge interest of the Taipei girl mean? What is behind that?
She knows I am poor. And she has seen my fat, decadent body. -
Why do girls do that?
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Should I stop writing after drinking wine?
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Should I write and share yarns more often?
Something Else
I read some posts about relationships here and I just want to thank everyone who shares personal stories. About girlfriends, about marriage. It helps sometimes to read these and also the replies. There is something that feels very real in those posts, even if some are very sad and I can feel the suffering and tragedy.
Also I was wondering
- Is there any way to search for posts in chronolgical order? How to find the oldest post in the whole forum?
I initially wanted to post this directly into the Temporary Forum (low self-esteem), but I couldn’t find out how to do it. Anyway, I clearly stated it’s a yarn, so… You knew before you started reading.
