j99, and whoever else needs this,
black outs usually occur infrequently in frequent drinkers, they are usually blown off as flukes.
I’ve had one real blackout in my life, in my 20s, and it scared the hell out of me, not because I did something bizarre, but becuase I honestly couldn’t remember that I did what my friends told me I did the next day. It was nothing really, but for ME it was WAY out of my character to do: after we left a bar after drinking heavily, natch, we got a slice of pizza. I wasn’t eating meat at the time and ended up ordering a peperoni slice. I then began to strip the peperoni off the slice and throw them on the sidewalk (this in a tourist town where there are LOTS of people walking around at 1AM) saying, “I don’t fucking eat meat!”
That I would a) throw food on the ground and b) use profanity in front of strangers and children was so far away from what I was like, that I didn’t drink again that summer. (I wish I had never started up again, but that’s another story.)
Now, for a scary story. My brother, also in his 20s at the time, recalls “waking up” one night in his house, strangling his wife. Has no idea how he got there, as he was drinking in some bar after work. He calmed down, and she didn’t call the cops. But the next day,the State Troopers pulled into his driveway, checked his truck and liscense plate and took him away to the station. They didn’t tell him why, but did tell him that his car had been reported the previous evening. The whole ride down he was horrified that he had killed someone and driven off.
He found out when he got there that he had smashed into several parked cars on the way home and was seen.
Long story short, he joined AA and stopped. He’s boring now, but at least he’s not a potential murderer (because of alcohol at any rate).
The REALLY scary part is that most of us NEVER have the life changing blackout. We just get over it. They are usually so rare that we convince ourselves they don’t much matter. Most of us, myself included, keep drinking, and struggle through the few bad times and blow them off. When black outs happen to 20 year olds, they’re understandable, at 30, they’re embarrassing, at 40, they’re condemning.
Reading MT’s story makes me believe that ONE blackout could ruin someone’s life; imagine if he had fallen face first into the fire, MT wouldn’t be the handsome devil he is now. One should be enough of a lesson to learn from: ie moderate or quit.
Anyway, off the soap box.
Peace j99, eat more when you drink and don’t turn up drinking speed toward the end of the night.