Bottom's up ;)

I have some questions that I am hoping that the gay community can address.
I am not gay and while I have known gay people through friends of friends, I have never spoken about their orientation with them.
I believe that the accepted crux of homosexuality, as the name implies, is being sexually attracted to one of the same sex; ergo, my curiosity revolves around the relationships between two men which involve sex.
Everyone knows the various ways of stimulating a man, and one that is used in male homosexual relationships is anal sex.
My questions are as follows:

  1. As anyone who has gone to the doctor to have a rectal exam can attest, having even a well-lubricated index finger inserted into one’s anus ranges from extremely uncomfortable to downright painful.
    Do homosexual men have to “train” through experience to overcome this pain? How does this work?
  2. How does a man decide he wants to be the one to take a penis in his anus?
  3. Is this a pleasurable experience or one that simply provides for the pleasure of a partner? (I mean I am thinking of the fact that a man’s penis is something dramatically thicker and longer than an index finger and given that the penis would be thrust back and forth in the rectum, this does not sound pleasant to me for the recipient.)
  4. I would assume that before the act, there must be some sort of preparation regarding lubricant; is it possible to do it without? Do gay men habitually carry a tube of KY Jelly in their pocket?
  5. Do some homosexual men never have anal sex as the recipient?
    For those who do have anal sex, is there not some sort of mental conflict here regarding the mechanics of the act? What I mean is how many men (hetero or homo) would plunge their penis into a soft tube of human excrement? Even with a condom? And I am not talking of people who are into scat.
  6. Isn’t the excitement of the act somewhat, or very, diminished afterward when the penis is removed? Unless the recipient had just had an enema, I would imagine that the penis would have a rather unpleasant odor

um presuming you’re serious here wolf i think you’re gunna get flamed on this…obviously rectal examination by a doctor isn’t going to get anyone off the same as a vaginal examination by a gynaecologist isn’t gunna do much for a girl… it doesnt mean the anus itself isn’t an erogenous zone…remember anal sex is by no means the domain of homosexuals alone…a lot of straight people also indulge in it…you also seem to be somewhat misinformed…“soft tube of human excrement”?..sorry but excrement does not actually live in the anus…it only passes thru it on the way to the toilet…

I am serious. If I were not, I would have been crass.
The anus is the point of exit; the rectum is the passage previous to this where feces passes (but you knew that). Stick your finger all the way up your rectum and pull it out and tell me that there is nothing unpleasant about the odor.
Yes, clearly anal sex does occur between consenting men and women, but my questions deal with the fact, as a man, it would be a cold day in hell before a man had anal sex with me. I am seriously curious how this works with male homosexuals.
I realize that I am facing censure, but I attempted to frame my questions in a mature manner.

My point is that inserting anything in the rectum is generally painful; inserting something in the vagina is generally not.

C’mon guys,
It’s gotta be painful as hell. Or is “anal sex” just an urban legend?
Educate us.

Hopefully I can answer some of your (very good) questions, Wolf. First of all, not all gay men like anal sex … I’ve known quite a few guys who aren’t interested in it. As far as pain goes, it tends to usually hurt immediately upon penetration, but the pain tends to go away once you get used to the feeling (unless your partner is unusually well-endowed). Some guys just naturally seem to prefer either the dominant or passive role, some like both. The feeling is definitely different. Personally, I prefer the “dominant” role, but I’ve done both. The pleasureable part of being penetrated comes from massaging of the prostate, and your orgasms tend to be more powerful while having your prostate massaged. A lot of guys also feel a certain special sense of intimacy by having their partner (presuming it’s someone you’re in love with) being inside of them, which of course would make the act more pleasureable.

As far as the “cleanliness” issue goes, for some guys it’s a problem, for others it’s not … it just goes with the territory. I’ve been with some guys who prefer to clean that area (inside and out, i.e. an enema) before they will have sex, and others who don’t. Normally you won’t have feces all over your penis when it comes out unless the guy has been having stomach problems recently. However, it does require more preparation than heterosexual sex, and lots of guys like to at least go to the bathroom first before they do it. As to other kinds of “preparation,” it’s usually easier if you start with some foreplay, using fingers and stuff … but not always necessary.

Finally, as an aside, in traditional Chinese homosexual “relationships,” the dominant and active roles were determined by age and social status, and not upon the “preference” of the partners. This has also carried over to some extent today in Taiwan … my previous Taiwanese boyfriends (and my current one) have all been younger than me, and all have played the passive role … some of them enjoyed it, others didn’t, but they said that that was the way it should be because I was the “gege” and they were the “didi” … kind of an interesting social/cultural phenomenon. It would be interesting to get some statistics on that, but I don’t think anyone is currently doing that kind of research here.

Anyway, I hope that answers some of your questions.

Thank you for your candor.
Massaging the prostate sounds like excruciating pain to me. :shock:

It’s not just gay men who get off on it, it seems!

[quote=“wolf_reinhold”]I have some questions that I am hoping that the gay community can address…my curiosity revolves around the relationships between two men which involve sex.
Everyone knows the various ways of stimulating a man, and one that is used in male homosexual relationships is anal sex. [/quote]

Though I have no sexual experience with str8 guys, or talking to them about sex, I have heard that even some str8 guys like to have their anus stimulated. Of course, that is usually with the women’s (or their own) finger and/or a dildo. I guess some people may say that they are just gay men hiding in “str8 clothing.” :wink: However, I personally know of gay men who do not like taking annother man’s penis up the anus. Would that make them str8 men in “gay clothing?” I don’t think so. So, why would the opposite, necessarily, be true?

How do you know that “anyone who has gone to the doctor… can attest” to this? Perhaps some of those men, gay and straight, do not find it extremely uncomfortable to downright painful. :?: I’m not necessarily saying that it is extremely pleasurable for them. But, it doesn’t have to be as bad as you say it is.

But, the point that bear64 made is valid. There is a big difference between having someone stick their finger up your anus in a doctor’s office and doing it in the context of a sexual encounter. Unless, of course, you have a doctor fantasy/fetish. :stuck_out_tongue:

[quote]Do homosexual men have to “train” through experience to overcome this pain? How does this work?

  1. How does a man decide he wants to be the one to take a penis in his anus? [/quote]

Let’s take question #2 first. All gay men are not created the same. Just like straight people have different “tastes” in sex, so do gay men. And, they come to find out about those “tastes” in different ways. Some guys just seem to know that they want (or don’t want) to be a “bottom” – i.e., take another man’s penis in their anus. Sometimes, it is through exploration. As they are masturbating and exploring their own bodies they… ah… shall we say “cum” upon the answer. :laughing: Some guys don’t know they like it until it happens the first time.

As for the second part of question #1… the pain usually comes because the sphincter muscle is very tight. This could be for a number of reasons from it is the first time for penetration to the guy isn’t relax or turned on enough (e.g., often it is harder/more uncomfortable to take a penis in your anus after you’ve ejaculated). Usually, over time, as the guy learns to relax or experiences penetrations more regularly, the muscle will loosen up and the pain will disappear. So, yeah… sometimes you have to “train” yourself to get through the pain. (By the way, often the pain is only at the beginning of the penetrative act. Once the guy/muscle relaxes or gets turned on enough it disappears.)

Again, it depends on who you are talking to. For my ex, it was definitely pleasurable to bottom. For some guys, they “bottom” only for the pleasure they get giving their partner pleasure. Others guys will not bottom at all. There are guys that are “total bottoms,” guys that are “total tops,” and every flavor in between.

I’m sure you are aware that there are such things as lubricated condoms??? However, while using a lubricant is probably preferred by most, it is not necessary. Anal sex can be done “dry.” In my opinion, though, that takes a special person. :shock: Sometimes, spit or other substances like oil can be used. Of course, you have to be careful whatever you use doesn’t break down the condom. Also many men do produce pre-cum that is intended to and can be used as lubrication. (From what I understand, the anus of some guys can produce its own lubricant. But, I’ve never personally known a guy like this.) But, pre-cum is probably only worthwhile if the anal sex is being done “bareback” – i.e., sans condom.

See my answer above.

As bear64 mentioned, though there may be some remnants of excrement in the tube, it does not reside there. Therefore there is, generally, no soft-tube-of-human-excrement plunging involved.

If you use a condom, there is less chance of this once the condom is removed. In my experience, I can recall very few times when excrement remnants were “discovered” and no time I remember a smell afterwards. However, also in my experience, anal sex usually is the final part of the sexual encounter. So, diminishment of excitement is usually occuring for other reasons. :smiley:

Don’t know… never asked a lesbian. But, I have heard of some str8 women who liked to watch gay porn. Apparently the men look better than in str8 porn and they don’t have to watch the women. :shock:

Most of the lesbians I know are fascinated by it, and some even enjoy watching gay porn. It’s much more interesting that str8 porn. (yawn… boring!).

For goodness sake, Wolf and Almas, haven’t you ever fucked a chick up the ass?

Every straight porn movie I have ever seen has an ass fucking scene. I thought every straight guy has done this to a girl at least once in their lives.

Certainly you’ve had a girlfriend you could ask about this. Or a guy buddy who has done this to a girl. I don’t think gay men are really the experts on screwing people up the ass. George Bush is 100% straight and just look at some of his policies.

Or, if you are really curious what it feels like, perhaps consider this:

For goodness sake, Wolf and Almas, haven’t you ever fucked a chick up the ass?

Huh? Ah, No, females have a thing called a vagina which has been fine-tuned by millions of years of evolution for taking the "yang implement. "
Women are such devine creatures!

My gay friends tell me some of them do not engage in anal sex at all. They do everything else, kissing, foreplay, oral, manual, but no penetration in the relationship. They tell me this is not uncommon. Some guys just aren’t into it.

[quote=“almas john”]For goodness sake, Wolf and Almas, haven’t you ever fucked a chick up the ass?

Huh? Ah, No, females have a thing called a vagina which has been fine-tuned by millions of years of evolution for taking the "yang implement. "
Women are such devine creatures![/quote]

I know that, but it can’t mean that they aren’t up for something new and interesting once in a while.

yesh well fascinating tho’ this discussion is it does seem misplaced in this forum…just in reply to flicka “hasnt every guy fucked a chick in the ass” i think the sex survey stats only register around 25% for anal sex for str8 ren…so i guess it isn’t for everyone; there are a lot of people who have a phobia about it for the obvious reason but it always seems a bit irrational to me…by the same extension of reasoning wouldn’t fellatio also be considered “dirty” since the penis also is used to “pass water”?

It’s true. I once saw a survey (which I fully believe) that said that any given time only about 30% of gay men are in relationships in which they have anal sex. For most it takes more than a one night stand to do that. And many will never take it up the poop chute.

Good job Wolf, stretching the limits of free speech.

25% of str8 men done it Bear? No way. Maybe 5%, if that. Someone said above, well they all do it in porno flicks. Yea, but they do a lot of stuff in those flicks that most folks aren’t up for.

I think Wolf asked some valid questions. True, lubrication seems to be more of an issue than vaginally, from what I’ve heard. One can always take inspiration from Marlin Brando in Last Tango in Paris (butter, he he). True, AJ, the vagina is a wonderful thing, but then you don’t always drink the same beer do you?

Maybe the reason so few hetero men have done it is in part due to the mens’ squeamishness, but I believe it’s more due to women’s squeamishness about the possible pain, dirtiness and “unnaturalness”.

Kudos to Wolf for asking some tough questions. And kudos for everyone who responded thoughtfully. This thread could have easily gone another way, but everyone kept it to a very high standard. I think this thread shows what is good about this site and you all should be commended. You should all be given some sort of prize but since I don’t have any to give, the best I can do is give you this:


Back in the old days when girls were still trying to keep their virginity in Taiwan, I ran into a few girls who wouldnt do vaginal penetration but were ok with anal. They all enjoyed it very much and even had orgasms during the act.

To echo Almas, the vagina is the one and only gateway to heaven for me. What could possibly prompt me to decline entry there and go delving in a sewer instead?

And I agree with Maoman and Sir Brian, as we are not specifically discussing anal sex with Taiwanese partners or attitudes to anal sex in Taiwan, this topic should be moved to the Open Forum.

That isn’t the point. The point is that as a straight man, I will not experience anal sex (unless I get thrown into prison, perhaps) and my curiosity was surrounding those men who choose to perform this sex act for pleasure, not once just to see what it feels like.

(…and who was complaining that Forumosa was getting dull? :wink: )