I’m going to a place called Bracknell, 33mi west of London, in April. Will some of our UK forumosans be so kind as to help me figure a few things out:
How do you pronounce Bracknell and Berkshire? Loretta told me it’s something like “Barksure” for Berkshire. What about Bracknell. (BTW, I know it will be very, very difficult, but please try to resist the urge to take the piss. I’m going to look like enough of a BSA–Big, Stupid American–as it is. I need help here.)
Which airport do I fly into? Are both Gatwick and Heathrow open? Which one is the better choice when flying from Taipei and ending up in Bracknell?
I’ll have almost no time to do anything fun, but if I do, what is Bracknell like? Anything a must-see?
What is the weather likely to be like at that time of year?
[quote=“Tomas”]I’m going to a place called Bracknell, 33mi west of London, in April. Will some of our UK forumosans be so kind as to help me figure a few things out:
How do you pronounce Bracknell and Berkshire? Loretta told me it’s something like “Barksure” for Berkshire. What about Bracknell. (BTW, I know it will be very, very difficult, but please try to resist the urge to take the piss. I’m going to look like enough of a BSA–Big, Stupid American–as it is. I need help here. Thank you.)
Which airport do I fly into? Are both Gatwick and Heathrow open? Which one is the better choice when flying from Taipei and ending up in Bracknell?
I’ll have almost no time to do anything fun, but if I do, what is Bracknell like? Anything a must-see?
What is the weather likely to be like at that time of year?
I assume a visa is required, or not?
Thank you,
Tomas[/quote]
Here you are Thomas
How do you pronounce Bracknell and Berkshire? Loretta told me it’s something like “Barksure” for Berkshire. What about Bracknell. (BTW, I know it will be very, very difficult, but please try to resist the urge to take the piss. I’m going to look like enough of a BSA–Big, Stupid American–as it is. I need help here. Thank you.)
[color=#FF0040]Bracknell is pronounced Bracknall
Berkshire is pronounced Barksheer [/color]
Which airport do I fly into? Are both Gatwick and Heathrow open? Which one is the better choice when flying from Taipei and ending up in Bracknell?
[color=#FF0040]Heathrow is the closest[/color]
I’ll have almost no time to do anything fun, but if I do, what is Bracknell like? Anything a must-see?
[color=#FF0040]Oxford is quite close [/color]
What is the weather likely to be like at that time of year?
[color=#FF0040]Wet and cool[/color]
I assume a visa is required, or not?
[color=#FF0040]Guess it depends on your nationality[/color]
Slough is probably not that far from Bracknell. Sir John Betjeman probably said it best:
Come, friendly bombs and fall on Slough
It isn’t fit for humans now.
[quote=“sandman”]Slough is probably not that far from Bracknell. Sir John Betjeman probably said it best:
Come, friendly bombs and fall on Slough
It isn’t fit for humans now.
Have a simply super time! [/quote]
Well, I’ll be working most of the time. I guess that’s a boon.
You guys ever hear the one about the Canadian tourist who walked into a druggist to ask for some “bollocks” to cure his headache?
Last time I was in London, I tried to buy a “fanny pack” from a woman. She was very kind to me about the whole thing, explained to me what fanny means in the UK.
I’m hoping to avoid a situation like that on this trip.
StuartCa, thank you for answering my questions and for doing that research.
I actually visited Windsor Castle on my last trip there, but I spent most of my time looking at my then-girlfriend’s bum as she went up the ladders ahead of me .
The upper reaches of the Thames are really quite lovely (I have sweet childhood memories of picnics on the riverbank, feeding the swans, and boating on the river). I believe it’s still one of the most desirable (and most expensive) places to live in England.
And when I think about it, it would be Brack-Nell to the small minority who speak with clipped RP accents, but Brack-N’ll to the vast majority of others.
There is nothing, absolutely nothing to do in Bracknell. It’s a dormitory town.
Think of the New Jersey suburbs without any shopping malls and that will give you a good idea of what Bracknell is like.
Berkshire is pronounced Bark-shur, unless you’re American in which case the locals expect you to pronounce it “Berk-shire”, like it is spelt. If you don’t conform to the locals’ expectations you will be disappointing your hosts and confounding their innate sense of superiority.
Bracknul, all as one word. The second syllable isn’t as strong as the first. And yes, berksheer. If you split them and say Brack Nell, Berk Sheer you’ll be doing exactly what you don’t want to be doing.
Also, chemist, not druggist.
This has been the coldest winter for years, so you are looking at about 8 degrees C in the day, and about zero over night. Frosty from time to time. April will be a bit warmer, but not by much. Also, yes, Heathrow.
I imagine your work pals will want to take you to Dezire for an evening of clubbing and looking at chavs. Look, but don’t touch. They haven’t mastered the fake tan yet.
The coach from heathrow to bracknell is not a good idea as it goes to london first, and takes about 4 hours total travel time!
Best option is take the shuttle to terminal 4, take a bus to feltham train station (careful, you’ll be about 3 miles from the irascible TomHill at that point) and then take the train to bracknell. If you don’t go across from terminals 123 to terminal 4 they triple the price!!! ojp.nationalrail.co.uk/en/s/fares/tickets
Ok, let me put things in perspective for you, as I worked there for over two years.
It’s a shit hole.
The “town centre” is littered with single teenage mums pushing prams next the their (single) mums who are also pushing a pram.
There’s absolutely nothing to see there, but the good news is that it doesn’t take too long by train to get in to London proper.
You pretty much need a car to get around though, at least if the place you’ll be working at is anywhere outside of the handful of bus routes that operate.
There’s the horse racing track and about a dozen golf courses or so if you’re into that.
Bracknell is stuck between two motorways, which also means that it’s fairly quick to get to anywhere nearby by car.
And yes, it’s not too far from Heathrow, which means traffic is generally shit on the motoroways going to and from Bracknell.
[quote]Bracknell is pronounced Bracknall
Berkshire is pronounced Barksheer[/quote]
No it isn’t. TomHill is correct, of course.
Berkshire, Oxfordshite, and all of the surrounding area is a depressing flat rainy wasteland, peopled by real ale-drinking, goats’ cheese-eating, bicycle helmet-wearing hobbits, and all the other uncuÞian twatry of the south.
It isn’t far from London, which is also shite, but at least you’ll be able to buy sushi.
(And less of the judgement about the mothers. How do you know they are single and unmarried? And what’s wrong with that? Some of us round here are the children of teenage single mothers, and we resent the implication by our most welcome economic migrants that we are inferior because our mothers didn’t need some man to bring their children up. )
Tomas, the river Thames is nice enough. You can scoot up to Henley and have a look round, although it’s better in summer. Not far from Windsor. Are you coming alone, or will there be young 'uns in tow? Legoland, I’ve heard, is pretty aces.
If you want to pop up to Oxford, I’ll show you around.
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)