Can I come to Taiwan with 2 kids being a single mom?

Taiwan Parenting
1

I am from South Africa and am thinking about coming over to teach English in Taiwan. I have however a few major concerns that I am hoping someone out there can help me with. The more advice the better!!!

I am a single mother of a 11yr old and a 7yr old and I would really like them to share this experience with me. I don’t think I would be able to cope without having them with me over a long period. I am hoping for them to join me a few months after I arrive once I’ve had time to settle.
My question is what is life like for a single parent over there? Would it be possible for me as a single mother to cope financially? Would home school be possible or would I have to send them to public school?

Another question is I am not too sure as to what the best places are to live. I would like to hear about the different cities. If anybody could suggest a good website to visit that could tell me about the different cities and regions I would be most grateful.

I am dealing with a specific agency but if you know of any other good ones,please share.
I need info!!! I’ve been on the net most evenings trying to find out as much as I can but I would appreciate some first hand experiences.

2

I’ve quite a few South Africans here, some of them teaching English, some here as corp expats, and others as spouses.

Yes, you can homeschool. Do a search using the Search function (up above somewhere) and you’ll find a couple of discussions about homeschooling in Taiwan.

I haven’t met single parents here but I’m sure they’re out there. I do have one single parent in one of my classes who has adopted a Taiwanese child.

Yes, you can support two children here if: you live simply, live outside Taipei City where you can get a little more room for less money, and you get the right job.

You’ll need to think about childcare while you’re at work, travel expenses, etc.

As for cities, I recommend Taipei. If you work buxiban hours (afternoons, evenings and Saturdays) then you’ll have time in the morning to homeschool your children and do other things with them, and you can also find (or start) a playgroup or support group with other homeschooling families and playmates for your children.

At 7yo and 11yo I think your kids will have an easier time adjusting if they are able to meet local children and S. African or English-speaking children.

Good luck!

3

Hi Niks,

I’m sure it is possible to survive here as a single mom with 2 kids, but I think that it would also be pretty difficult. Do you speak any Chinese? Do you have friends already living in Taiwan? That would certainly make things easier.

Although Taipei probably has the best selection of jobs, the cost of living is much higher than outside the city and anywhere down south, or basically, anywhere else. (Kaoshung, in the South of Taiwan, may be more expensive).

If you want to work legally here, you need an ARC (alien resident card - or your work permit) which stipulates taht you must work a minimum of 14 hrs per week. But that might not be enough to cover your costs. You can homeschool part of the day, but you will still have to either send your kids somewhere to be looked after, or you’ll have to hire someone to look after them - something your salary on 14 hrs/wk may or may not cover. It will cost quite a lot to send your kids to an English speaking school. You MAY be able to work something out with your job, in that your boss may let your kids join the classes. That would at least take care of babysitting. At least then they would get to meet other kids their age - though they probably wouldn’t learn much seeing as they’d be in ESL classes. But it’d would be worth considering.

Pay per hour ranges from NT$500 to NT$600 - not sure what that equates to in SA currency. Your rent may range between ~NT$7,000 to $15,000 per month - depending of course where you live and how big your place is - but you certainly can find accomodation in that range (especially OUTSIDE of Taipei). Utilities are usually pretty minimal - say around ~NT$800 - NT$2000 per month, depending on the season (summer tends to be more expensive because of electricity usage for the AC). We rarely pay more than $1500/month.

You may also need transportation - especially outside of Taipei. Most cities don’t have the greatest transportation systems (again, Kaoshung may be an exception), and you won’t get much help in terms of English speaking aid. As far as English assistance goes, Taipei is the best. A lot of people can speak some English, and there are a lot of signs/maps in English. Most taxi/bus drivers DON’T speak any English, so they’re not much help. Driving in Taipei is hard as parking is always an issue and it’s very crowded - people are also crazy drivers here. It might be better in other cities - though few follow road rules.

Also keep in mind that the majority of foreigners here don’t have children - though I’m sure through this website and others you could meet those that do. I was just thinking in terms of trying to find playmates for your kids. My family moved around a lot when we were kids, and we once lived in Gabon when we were young teenagers. I adjusted pretty well, but my younger brother hated it. He couldn’t find anyone he really connected with, and the language barrier was always an issue as it is a French-speaking country - and we could even speak French! So I just think that coming to a Chinese speaking country that it will be a bit more challenging. :s

I’m not trying to discourage you, but rather give you some more advice. Oh, and one last thing - be very wary of agents. Some can be quite unscrupulous and downright deceitful. :noway: It’s easy enough to find work here on your own - just check out the job listings and start making contact with potential employers. Also check out www.tealit.com for other job listings.

Hope this was helpful. :slight_smile:

Cheers.

4

You gotta be kidding.

5

You might run into some discriminatory attitudes from some Taiwanese bosses. For instance, my boss recently got an application from a single woman with a 7-year old kid with several years teaching experience. He asked my opinion about her. He seemed really hesistant, saying that she seemed “irresponsible” (my impression being that her irresponsibility was solely due to not having a husband.) Mind you, my boss is relatively Western (spent 15 years in Canada, holds a Canadian passport) so a regular Taiwanese male boss could be even worse.

I tried convincing him that a single mother would be orders of magnitude more responsible than a single 20-something male like myself, but he was skeptical and ended up passing on her.

6

A lot of good advise so far. IF you want my opinion, I would tell you not to do it. Yes you can save some money, but with two kids it won’t be as much as you think ,especially with only one income. You will be just as well off back home. Taiwan is not necessarily an ideal place to raise a child from my POV. I’m sure you’ve researched Taiwan a bit if you have gotten this far. Taiwan has one of the highest population densities on the planet. In the cities, like Taipei and Kaohsiung, there is little greenspace and room to run and play, living quarters are small and expensive, and the level of pollution is concerning. The cities are also, where you’ll find the better jobs and a better support system. Nonetheless, I recommend that you, as a single mother, remain close to your support system until your children are at least relatively on their own. Then you could come here and they could visit at will.

Give it the big think. If you chose to come, I would recommend Taipei if you like metropolitan lifestyle or the East if you like it more pristine and quiet. Jobs are easy to find and interviews can be set up over the internet. Looking for housing is quite easy depending on where you are moving. I recommend Tsui Mama Housing Service (http://www.tmm.org.tw). We found a decent place at a good price through it. Most evceryhtign else you can find by searching though this forum. Good luck with whatever you decide.

7
  1. Becareful using agencies, better to be hired directly by a school

2.Work in taipei if u can afford it, otherwise choose a small city just outside of Taipei (smaller city is recommended, im 30 minutes away).

  1. If you want to meet lots of young white friends, then work in Taipei, thats where they all are.

  2. Dont let ppl put you off the idea of coming here as a single mum, its very family orientated. Just dont broadcast the fact that your a SM, they taiwanese have their old-fashioned morals.

  3. If u dont have friends here dont worry cos you will gather some when u arrive.

  4. Bring some cash to fall back on incase of an emergency, and to pay for the accomodation.

…

Sorry no knowledge about home schooling, the other guys can advise u on that. Have a deep think and dont be put off the idea …

You can PM me anytime,
Fu

8

[quote=“Niks”]I am from South Africa and am thinking about coming over to teach English in Taiwan. I have however a few major concerns that I am hoping someone out there can help me with. The more advice the better!!!

I am a single mother of a 11yr old and a 7yr old and I would really like them to share this experience with me. I don’t think I would be able to cope without having them with me over a long period. I am hoping for them to join me a few months after I arrive once I’ve had time to settle.
My question is what is life like for a single parent over there? Would it be possible for me as a single mother to cope financially? Would home school be possible or would I have to send them to public school?

Another question is I am not too sure as to what the best places are to live. I would like to hear about the different cities. If anybody could suggest a good website to visit that could tell me about the different cities and regions I would be most grateful.

I am dealing with a specific agency but if you know of any other good ones,please share.
I need info!!! I’ve been on the net most evenings trying to find out as much as I can but I would appreciate some first hand experiences.[/quote]

I have a 13 year old, he’s been here for 3 years (was born here, but we left when he was really small).

I would STRONLY discourage you. Education is really the main problem. Where would they study? I ended up pulling my son from Chinese schools and enrolling him in an online school in the U.S. (maybe this would be an option, but childcare? You know your situation better than me, but someone really does need to supervise a bit, even with an online school).

9

Yes, the AUDACITY that a man’s property might up and leave him, very old fashioned. And the AUDACITY that a wife might object to being beaten, or that her husband is coming home still smelling of a hooker :wink:.

Sorry, morals? Gimme a break…I’ve been here too long to buy #4.

The other thing to consider is taking a poll about how many people actually got what was promised upon arrival. I suspect VERY few (I’m sure there are some, in fact I know of a couple who actually got a good deal, but they are in the minority).

10

[quote=“acearle”][quote=“fu xiao”]

Yes, the AUDACITY that a man’s property might up and leave him, very old fashioned. And the AUDACITY that a wife might object to being beaten, or that her husband is coming home still smelling of a hooker :wink:.

Sorry, morals? Gimme a break…I’ve been here too long to buy #4.
[/quote][/quote]

Are you / were you married to a #4???

11

And Taiwan isnt the only place that has accumulated a bad reputation for working as a foreign teacher, its happening all over Asia right now…Who is to blame???..the past twenty years can answer…

12

Mea culpa!

I can honestly say I took money to teach English and left absolutely no discernable mark on Taiwan’s English speaking ability.

HG

13

[quote=“Huang Guang Chen”]Mea culpa!

I can honestly say I took money to teach English and left absolutely no discernable mark on Taiwan’s English speaking ability.

HG[/quote]

Could it have something to do with the fact that 30-40% of the students don’t even bother with basic homework? And of those that DO bother, 50% simply copy someone else’s?

No one with any ability would bother (I admit it, I’m a terrible English teacher…my goal is to simply get the kids to engage brains, something which is a foreign concept).

I DO usually recommend that really qualified, motivated teachers look at Eastern Europe instead of Taiwan. Japan even? Taiwan is a waste of talent most of the time.

I WAS thrilled to hear of a Bushiban in Hsinchu that has done a KILLER job on the cirriculum, actually gets the kids to do the work necessary to learn a language, and rumor has it that they are getting good results. BUT. That’s a first (in the case of my school 30% of the kids won’t crack a book outside of class).

14

[quote=“fu xiao”][quote=“acearle”][quote=“fu xiao”]

Yes, the AUDACITY that a man’s property might up and leave him, very old fashioned. And the AUDACITY that a wife might object to being beaten, or that her husband is coming home still smelling of a hooker :wink:.

Sorry, morals? Gimme a break…I’ve been here too long to buy #4.
[/quote]

Are you / were you married to a #4???[/quote][/quote]

Nope. I’m judging based on the number of kids I have come in with cuts and bruises, the number of times a mother talks about what happens at home. I’m also basing this on the number of brothels in Taiwan, which people would like you to believe are all for foreigners (If this were true, there are about 100 hookers per customer island wide :wink: ). I’m also basing this on talking with people (I DO speak Chinese, and my going into seclusion is a relatively recent thing, just got tired of it all) about how they do business.

Errrm. And yeah, I have BEEN married for a HELLA long time, but I’m a he, she’s a she…ermm…I think, here, lemme check…yep…I’m a he :stuck_out_tongue: :smiley:…married so long that a check now and again isn’t a bad idea, hehe.

But, IM(not so)HO, the word “moral” and “morals” should not be used in the same BOOK as things about Taiwan. Especially when it comes down to the percieved ownership of women and children (and yes, I have met sex slaves here…15 years ago, I met a woman who had been sold by her parents into a brothel, but she actually managed to get out…I think it was by being a pain in the tush)…but, the trade in women to Taiwan is notorious…

…women are viewed as chattel by many, then again, there are those marriages (like mine) where we learn to saleute and say “Yes Ma’am!” Equal relationships are almost unheard of here, someone is always on top (this is also in social situations).

I may be crazy (okay, I am crazy), but I actually am sorta fascinated in a sick way by the sociology of relationships here (not just romantic, but how people interact).

15

When you start spking like that then maybe you should think about moving on to a different location dude…might make you more positive…

Just a suggestion as four yrs in BBK got to me aswell…

16

[quote=“fu xiao”]When you start spking like that then maybe you should think about moving on to a different location dude…might make you more positive…

Just a suggestion as four yrs in BBK got to me aswell…[/quote]

That’s actually in the cards ASAP (errrm, and BKK is on the short list). Even Taipei. Unfortunately, business reality keeps me down here, at least for a few more years.

BUT, you know you’re funny farm material when a trip to Taipei is a trip to civilization, hehe…

…reality is that it isn’t just some crazy white boy squalling this stuff, my Chinese wife is nearly homicidal most of the time :laughing:. And my son gets so disgusted he hates to leave the HOUSE (but loves to go to Taipei…hmm…Taipei…hmmm…maybe after they release me from a 6 month stay in a rubber room, woot!!)…

17

Sounds like you’ve got a hard life there…

Take it easy,
Fu

18

Not saying that it could, but this could happen to you (minus the husband perhaps)…

forumosa.com/taiwan/viewtopic.php?t=51705

Being a single parent is a struggle, financially, mentally, and socially…which are the three parts of life that are the most affected when one lives abroad. When being a single parent abroad, I think problems in these aspects increase exponentially. And Taiwan is not the easiest place to live.

19

[quote=“ImaniOU”]Not saying that it could, but this could happen to you (minus the husband perhaps)…

forumosa.com/taiwan/viewtopic.php?t=51705

Being a single parent is a struggle, financially, mentally, and socially…which are the three parts of life that are the most affected when one lives abroad. When being a single parent abroad, I think problems in these aspects increase exponentially. And Taiwan is not the easiest place to live.[/quote]

I think that girl is still in shellshock, feel sorry for her all the same…each and everyone of us have a difficult time at some point on our travels. Hope she pulled through okay…

20

I still think a single mum would have no problems finding a job here…especially if she stays away from night out in bars drinking beer…think a mum would be more mature than that by now… :wink: