The fellows decided on Carnegie’s last night for our man’s night out. It’s been a little while, and I’ve haven’t been there as a single guy for more than a year, so I went along. Oh my. Foremost among the comedic events I observed:
-A fight between a tall Taiwanese girl in a very short skirt and an Amazonian blonde. Pushing and shoving and some well-placed high kicks. Boyfriends intervened, laughing their asses off.
-Whilst talking with a friend of a friend, a young lady presented herself in front of me, grabbed me by the hips, and promptly started grinding me. Turns out she was someone else’s date for the evening. Someone I know. Surreal.
-Looked up from a conversation to find another friend begging me to spell him on the dance floor, where he had apparently been grabbed by a horny woman from somewhere in Europe. I walked over before you can say “Ew!” she had her hands on my ass. Uh, ew.
-Was midway through a whizz when a lovely young shaojie bounded out of the stall in the men’s room, took a look at me and the other guys whizzing, and ran out without washing her hands.
The place was full of pauncy, geeky, middle aged foreign males who would be so much better off spending those hours in the gym (or at home with the wife, if one exists) rather than trying so unsuccessfully to charm the young babes there. As I wrote earlier, I feel for them, but God, seeing it in person was a bit pathetic.
I managed to have fun drinking with the boys, got some good laughs at the scenes being played out, and met a nice young lady with whom I chastely exchanged phone numbers. I think once was enough for the next six months or so. I’m sure they won’t miss me either.