Get another cat. Maybe they’ll gang up on you in a part stealing operation, but more likely they’ll be too busy.
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I think a focus group of cats may be helpful.
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That’s why DIY is best. You do not need to spend too much.
Moreover, if you have more than one cat, you’ll see what one likes another one will not. Applies for food, litter, snacks and toys.
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This thread will probably result in a request for someone to play with his cat.
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Inbred sounds bad 
What I mean is that expecting a cat to be like a dog -or human- is pointless. They have their own ideas in those furry little heads.
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So not available in mobile stores then…?
Yes, indeed they do. Keeping a solitary ultra predator indoors is quiteand amazing fantasy. I 100% agree.
even when tortured to comply, inbred for hundreds of years etc, they still remain the core species they once were in the wild to a large degree.
I’m more of an Earth, Wind & Fire fan personally.
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They use “cell” here, don’t they?
No.
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Cats think similarly to human serial killers. If one can enter the mindset of a hunter with zero empathy who enjoys torture, one can understand cats.
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They love aluminium foil balls. They play by themselves but they love to be goalkeepers if you throw the ball.
The favourite game of one of my cats was just doing vertical jumps to catch my hand and “bite” it. I held her back with my other hand to avoid any of us getting injured.
Well, maybe. Ah dun mah bess. (Transl.: I’ve done my best.)
And here I was thinking you meant, “I’ve done my Bess.” 
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I thought of that possibility, as one among two or three. That’s why I included a “translation” before I posted.
Better than, “I did my ma best.”
Yikes. Other than that, no comment.