Cheating and Forgiveness

Life Dating & Relationships
41

The key points are

  1. The foreign guy knows she loves her local BF. Even if she would not feel happy, he first would let her walk away.
  2. He uses his foreign “charmes” to ask to by HIS GF and only “friendship” from his side. He is thinking with his dick yes?!
  3. He drives her “as usual” to that mountain to make here showing his good intentions I presume. Such a LOW attitude.
  4. He simply takes advantage of someone who was clear enough in wording before she got badly drunk.
  5. And they are still friends… OK, guess the guy was not so bad doing it to her after all.
  6. She should look in the mirror now.

And on your question about shagging after a few bevvies… nope, never did. Do not belong to the “Let us play the hunter and the hunted tonight” crowd anymore. Way below my expectations and does not turn me on.

42

Perhaps he had to had to be a hunter again. I mean, this little (foreign) man had to try and make love feel new again? :wink:

Chill ceevee369, I’m joking. . . .but I still think she’s an evil fox fairy. :smiling_imp:

Here’s a brilliant song about being unfaithful. Sends chills up my spine just reading it . . . you really gotta hear it! The man’s vocals are unbelievable.

[quote]Tim Buckley - Sweet Surrender

Now you wanna know the reason
Why I cheated on you?
Well I had to be a hunter again.
This little man had to try
To make love feel new again.

'Cause there’s just a few things, honey
I’m not old enough to do for you. Ohh.
And they’re the things, momma
You just never care to show me. Ohh.

So this flim-flam lover boy
Found him a flamingo.
And his flamingo
Showed him how to tango.
And when they tangoed
It’d send their heart’s a flutter.
Teased him 'till he’d stutter.
Made him so young and tender.
Sweet to surrender
And so sweet surrender.
In sweet surrender.
Ahh, sweet surrender to love.

But now you’re gonna go out
And get yourself
A reputation.
But I’m gonna have to show you
Where to start.
And then you’re gonna bring back
Your little reputation
And prove to me
What I could not prove to you.

'Cause I was just too young at heart.
I’m just too cold, honey.
Just too hard to care.
Just too hard, 'right
To surrender.
Surrender to love.

Sweet surrender
Surrender to love.

If we could
Just surrender
Love would heal the mess we’ve made.
So give it up, momma, ahh.
It ‘aint gonna be no good
It keeps goin’ 'round and 'round.
You hurt me.
Then I hurt you again.
All that’s left to do, ah.
Is give it up, Ahhhhhh,
No, no, give it up
And surrender, Ahhhhhh, momma.

Sweet surrender.
Sweet surrender.
Surrender your love.
Surrender love.
Ohhhhhh, Surrender momma.
Ohhhhhh, Surrender that love.
Sweet.
Sweet, sweet, sweet su-rre-rren-der, momma.
In to love.
To love.
To love. [/quote]
Vale Tim Buckley.

HG

43

Yo. Being drunk is an EXCUSE. Nothing more. Not a reason, an excuse. And a lousy one too.

44

She’s my classmate, going to be 20. Nice guess. I think it’s quit a conflict. She knew that he crush on her even she tried to talk to him for several times. She still let it be. I mean she accepted everything he did for her like flowers or nice meals movies clubs… She loves her bf. And all her bf knows about their relationship is “just friends”. Sometimes she uses the examples how that guy treats her as a way to ask for some cares from her bf. She thinks her bf is indifferent sometimes. But it’s just cause he is in the army training. She depends on her bf too much. Can’t sleep without his phone calls. It seems like she just want sexual relationship with that foreigner. But how come she still takes for granted to ask for her bf’s love while she’s in an affair?

45

Yeah I think so. Though she said she won’t love that foreign guy but just want the sexual stuff with him… Sounds disgusting to me.

46

But wait…

[quote=“humor”] …She loves her bf. And all her bf knows about their relationship is “just friends”. Sometimes she uses the examples how that guy treats her as a way to ask for some cares from her bf. She thinks her bf is indifferent sometimes. But it’s just cause he is in the army training. She depends on her bf too much. Can’t sleep without his phone calls. It seems like she just want sexual relationship with that foreigner. But how come she still takes for granted to ask for her bf’s love while she’s in an affair?

…Though she said she won’t love that [foreign] guy but just want the sexual stuff with him… [/quote]

ceevee,

Care to revise your estimation of the terrible foreign guy?

47

She’s my classmate, going to be 20. Nice guess. I think it’s quit a conflict. She knew that he crush on her even she tried to talk to him for several times. She still let it be. I mean she accepted everything he did for her like flowers or nice meals movies clubs… She loves her bf. And all her bf knows about their relationship is “just friends”. Sometimes she uses the examples how that guy treats her as a way to ask for some cares from her bf. She thinks her bf is indifferent sometimes. But it’s just cause he is in the army training. She depends on her bf too much. Can’t sleep without his phone calls. It seems like she just want sexual relationship with that foreigner. But how come she still takes for granted to ask for her bf’s love while she’s in an affair?[/quote]

There’s something amiss about this whole story. The young girl in question went out drinking with a guy she doesn’t like, then has sex with him while heavily drunk. Now she takes things from the forgien guy and just has sex with him while using thing from that relationship to bring ‘flava’ to her real relationship.

I’m confused. Who’s on first base?

48

[quote]There’s something amiss about this whole story. The young girl in question went out drinking with a guy she doesn’t like, then has sex with him while heavily drunk. Now she takes things from the foreign guy and just has sex with him while using thing from that relationship to bring ‘flava’ to her real relationship.
I’m confused. Who’s on first base?[/quote]
Yes it’s conflict. She did insist the line at the begining… But I guess she just enjoys a hunk chasing her?

49

Ha! Vindicated. Now bets on how long before soldier boy slips a live round into his pocket and puts it through his scone after guard duty.

HG

50

well. since my birthday on feb the 3rd, i had a flirty fling with my ex, a girl, friend, ive known for a year or so at uni got jealous and made moves on me, i didnt fend them off, and then i got with her for week and a half. during that time another girl ive liked for aages finally receprocated and i kissed her one night while i was still with my friend.

we had only been going out for a week and a half and i borke it off with her, now im with the girl i want to be with.

fair enough i cheated on my gf with a girl i felt a lot for. but its not that bad at the end of the day. because if its going to happen then it will happen regardless. almost as if, it was supposed to happen… i felt rubbish then, but im really happy now.

51

I used to think most girls won’t cheat. I’ve revised my opinion since then.

They just have to convince myself that they’re in love and then they’re just as likely to as guys are. The only difference is that most guys don’t need to convince themselves that they are doing it out of love.

52

[quote=“puiwaihin”]I used to think most girls won’t cheat. I’ve revised my opinion since then.

They just have to convince myself that they’re in love and then they’re just as likely to as guys are. The only difference is that most guys don’t need to convince themselves that they are doing it out of love.[/quote]

I’m not sure I understand what you mean here… :blush:
you mean when women cheat, they say to themselves “it’s okay, I’m in love with this new guy”?
And men don’t - they think “ahh, hell, it’s just sex and not love”?

nevertheless - cheating is still bad and wrong, IMO. If you are in a relationship you live by the rule that goes: you can look but not touch
Unless you have agreed on multiple dating in the beginning, then it’s disrespectful to cheat. No matter if it’s out of love or just in it for the sex.
It is disrespectful.
It can be forgiven of course everybody moves on, but if it was my bf who cheated on me, we would move on seperately.

53

Thats easy to answer. Happens when every lad joins the tin soldier outfits. The gals get lonely for some real physical relationships and start dating outside. They’ll always tell you about the BF in the Army… and how lonely they are. But the new friends will pay for their dates out and take care of them. The the gals get friendlier and start to forget about the bf’s in the army. Then they get busy and cant reply to the letters and nightly phone calls from the bf’s.

They so happy you take them out and up the mountains for some shagging.

Then they tell you their bf’s won’tlike this. Soon you try not to laugh as you’re lying in bed when the BF calls his gf. She’s trying to be straight while your pulling silent faces and making sensual movements while she’s pretending she misses him so much…

But never mind… later on the BF gets the Dear John letter and and the gals soon start enjoying their new found freedoms. The it time to start with another…

After all at 20 years old they can do what they want. And they do. They are not really in love… they just think they are. :smiley: :smiley:

54

How about the old addage ‘All is fair in Love and War?’

I don’t mean that it’s right, but it is common place for this kind of thing to happen, foreign guy was simply smart enough to interpret the signals miss lady taiwanese girl was giving off. Accepting gifts, being friends, going out with him (to clubs and secluded areas no less)? I’m sorry, but if she really didn’t want to be with him and truly rejected him and respected, let alone ‘loves’ her boyfriend, she would have never done those things, let alone have sex with him. On the converse, I suppose if she is being neglected then she is also just very lonely and not used to that kind of attention… mister foreign man fills that void perfectly huh?Was it really just a foreign guy taking advantage of a poor inexperienced girl? Not entirely, I doubt it. It takes two to tango. Maybe the fact she was intoxicated simply provides her an easier excuse/justification to live with. People do it all the time so they can do what they’d like. Just another game of cat n mouse, another game of playing hard to get… which, it doesn’t seem as if it was really all that hard to begin to get, sadly enough. But who cares? Everyone likes a little excitement, huh? Until someone gets hurt, that is… for this case, I guess they’re just using one another to get what they want. Everyone in the end too often, is selfish first… on both sides of the coin. Too bad for the boyfriend, way to go foreigner, slap on the back and handshake for you… and bad bad you naughty Taiwanese girl… you should know better… tsk tsk… then again, maybe you know best of all.

About cheating itself, well… I’ve never cheated on anyone, but I have been cheated on before. If you really sit down and think about it for a moment, ultimately cheating is just another part of being human… we all make mistakes sometimes. We all make good and bad choices. It’s not an excuse, just that we are not perfect, by any means… we all have our flaws, and given the right situation, we would ALL cheat. Given that, it’s always going to be up to you to decide in whichever direction to move in should you find yourself in either side of the situation, which is very likely to happen sometime in your lifetime, unfortunately. We are all human. With that said, there is no general rule of thumb to follow… it really depends on the situation at the time as to what you’re going to do about it, i.e… how strong your relationship really is… and what will eventually bring you the most happiness, right? ^^

55

Then they tell you their bf’s won’tlike this. Soon you try not to laugh as you’re lying in bed when the BF calls his gf. She’s trying to be straight while your pulling silent faces and making sensual movements while she’s pretending she misses him so much…

But never mind… later on the BF gets the Dear John letter and and the gals soon start enjoying their new found freedoms. The it time to start with another…
[/quote]

And then we wonder why the young lads hate us…

56

Then they tell you their bf’s won’tlike this. Soon you try not to laugh as you’re lying in bed when the BF calls his gf. She’s trying to be straight while your pulling silent faces and making sensual movements while she’s pretending she misses him so much…

But never mind… later on the BF gets the Dear John letter and and the gals soon start enjoying their new found freedoms. The it time to start with another…
[/quote]

And then we wonder why the young lads hate us…[/quote]

:smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley:

57

It’s not just foreigners jumping Johnny soldier’s lady friends. Still, it is amazing how common that picture you paint is, comfortably numb.

HG

58

nolza, I agree with you. Yes we are all human being, we’ve got flaws. But I really piss off that kind of ppl and nausty behavior. If s/he doesn’t repent and get back a right track what a relationship should be, I don’t think this kind of person is worthy of being a person. His/her behavior is exactly what animals do. And I don’t think my thought is too strict. Think about how hurt the victim will be. That’s cruel.

59

Well, technically we are animals ><… we are certainly capable of being better than animals, but c’mon, let’s not kid ourselves and paint a rosy picture we know isn’t true. We are also capable of incredible monstrosities no animal would ever commit. What she is doing is reflective of what a person is. Sure it’s cruel in a way to the boyfriend and sure you have a right to think that about her. But keep in mind that noncheating nice good citizens are a rare breed. That kind of thing pisses me off too. But despite that, it happened and surely something is amiss in their relationship and this is a big sign that it is on its way to failure (unless she really is just having fun to bide the time). Better sooner than later for him to realize what kind of person she really is, and if he can live with being with her. I dunno… maybe this whole spiel will inevitably work to strengthen their relationship and give them a life long fulfilling partnership. :raspberry:

Life is full of hard lessons, bitter swallows, and contradictions of right and wrong. Maybe she’ll find out doing what she’s doing is a lot easier on the conscience than she initially thought. If you follow simple Psychology, she’s going for the short term returns here like most everyone does… and most likely out of insecurity. It doesn’t come as a surprise. She’s still young. They all are.

60

So this one lass get’s it on with a foreigner… yep shit happens.

For any young man doing his conscription, most of them will tell ya their gals eventually gave them the dear john letter. This isnt about foreigners per se.

Let’s all remember these are young horny lasses… Lets face it… at 20 they are not commited to anything, let alone some chump in the army.