Cheating Differences: Taiwanese guys vs. expats

Life Dating & Relationships
1

In general, who is the more likely to cheat: Taiwanese men or expats?

  • Taiwanese men will cheat more when they are both young adults and when they are middle aged.
  • Expat men will cheat more when they are both young adults and when they are middle aged.
  • Taiwanese men will cheat more when they are young adults, but expat men will cheat more when they are middle aged.
  • Expat men will cheat more when they are young adults, but Taiwanese men will cheat more when they are middle aged.
  • Taiwanese men and expats will cheat about the same.
  • Taiwanese men and expats will cheat about the same when they are young adults, but expat men will cheat more when they are middle aged.
  • Taiwanese men and expats will cheat about the same when they are middle aged, but expat men will cheat more when they are young adults.
  • Taiwanese men and expats will cheat about the same when they are young adults, but Taiwanese men will cheat more when they are middle aged.
  • Taiwanese men and expats will cheat about the same when they are middle aged, but Taiwanese men will cheat more when they are young adults.

0 voters

First off, I may be totally off-base here. I just had a thought as I was folding my clothes and thinking about a conversation I had earlier. So, no need to be disprespectful if you think what I’m about to say is the dumbest thing you’ve ever heard posted in this forum.

There might be a cultural difference that influences guys cheating on their girls. In fact, there may be several cultural differences that factor into it.

First, I’m going to say that a large majority of men cheat on their gfs overall. Considering that surveys often report 60% and up men self-identify as having cheated at some time on their wife, I think the percent for cheating on “just” a girlfriend would be even higher.

Now, here’s what I think may be the case:
Foreign men in Taiwan will be more likely to have multiple girlfriends in a short period of time, or cheat on their girlfirends than Taiwanese men the same age, but only during the first few years they are on the island. After men settle into a more permanent life here, they will be more likely to remain faithful to their wife or long-time girlfriend than local Taiwnese of the same age.

Some of the reasons foreign guys will start off with a high tendancy to play the field are:

  1. Popularity. Many foreign guys will find it easier to find a date here than at home because of the “exotic” factor. Guys who get more chances to date girls will a) have more opportunity to cheat and b) be less likely to value their relationships because they are so easy to come by.
  2. Liberation. Many people leave behind many social inhibitions when they come to Taiwan. Being in a foreign society will leave many feeling less of a pull from social restrictions.
  3. Social Difference. In many Western societies it is more acceptable to go on casual dates. They do not view having multiple dating partners as cheating until the relationship becomes exclusive.

The main reason local men will be less likely to play the field is that they are constrained from doing so by Taiwan’s society. It’s not that they wouldn’t want to any less than expats if the opportunity were there, but that there is less opportunity. Additionally, many still have inhibitions based on their ideals of love and relationships.

However, later on these situations change. After Taiwanese men marry their ideas of the perfect relationship change and they are no longer subject to many of the restrictions that previously prevented them from being unfaithful. As they get older, they will be more likely to become unfaithful than they were when they were young.

That’s basically it. Feel free to discuss, pick apart what I said, or what have you. It’s really just an idea that floated into my mind and I’ve put it together here in this post.

I totally ignore the idea of women cheating because I believe the dynamics are generally different.

2

I have a concubine; she’s called Taiwan Beer.

As a generalization I think you are right. Young foreign men are more likely to play the field (this mostly being a function of opportunity) but less likely to cheat when married.

Strange topic. What’s really on your mind R.D.O.?

3

[quote=“almas john”]I have a concubine; she’s called Taiwan Beer.

As a generalization I think you are right. Young foreign men are more likely to play the field (this mostly being a function of opportunity) but less likely to cheat when married.

Strange topic. What’s really on your mind R.D.O.?[/quote]
Just one of those epiphanies that pop up. Happened a few hours after hearing comments that were sort of related.

4

I can’t comment on this because my last two remarks about the loyalty of local men have gotten me warned…

5

Is a Taiwanese man an expat if he work and lives in China - but have his wife and family in Taiwan?

I’ve never meet a Taiwanese man, acutally living on this island, who were cheating his wife, but I’ve meet a big chunk of Taiwanese men cheating on their wives, while living and working in China.

So are we only talking about those who actually lives on this island?

6

Naturally, this question will be answered with generalizations:

My US friends: some of the are players of various degrees, sloppy seconds, play the out-of-state rules (anything women far away doesn’t count as cheating), oral/anal doesn’t count, etc. It’s talked about more like a game and bragging. very much machismo surrounding cheating.
Some of course are very monogamous and loyal.
Some are very into nightwalkers.
But it’s all about the “game”.

My Taiwan friends:

It’s quite different frame of mind.

Cheating and mistresses are looked upon as a matter of fact. Nothing out of the ordinary. And the attitude (with those I know) does not differ when one is married or one has a gf). It’s almost mechanical, taken for granted, je ne sais quoi. Trite comes to mind.
Of course, some of my TW friends would never consider cheating.
Some are very into KTV hostesses; others would go KTV and only sing.
But it’s all about “life as it is”. Just accept it and move on. Very Chinese thinking.

7

Warned by whom? I’m the mod of D&R, and I’ve never warned you. Why wouldn’t you be able to give your opinion on this topic?

8

I’ll forward you the PM if I can find it.

9

My wife is a regional marketing executive for a shipping company, and thus needs to travel all around Asia for her job. She’s young, she’s in the shipping industry, and EVERYONE she has to work with is an over-sexed middle-aged Taiwanese with a huge ego problem. She gets hit on incessantly, and it gets even worse when she tells them she’s already married…to a foreigner no less. It’s bad enough here in Taiwan, but when she’s on the road it’s totally out of control. The older they are the less shame they seem to have, too.

10

One of the largest differences in cheating here is how the person who is cheated on is treated versus the person who cheats. In the US the cheater is a bastard. Here the person cheated on is an idiot and not pleasing their man. It is that simple. If you say “he cheated” people say “you are stupid”
But what of the cheater? Nothing much. Where as in the US he would at least be called a bastard. And what of the other woman? Does she get the “whore” stigma that she would get in the US? No. She is “the winner” and “smarter”.
I’ve read messages to my current from girls inviting him over to spend the night. I know these girls. It isn’t just that they know ABOUT me. They know me. He understands why it pisses me off. But he doesn’t get why I say they are trashy. He says that’s just how girls are when they like a guy. He says they are just fans and he doesn’t pay them any mind. This I know to be true. But the fact that they don’t even try to be subtle with the fact that they are trying to “steal” my man is irritating as hell. When I was at home I never worried about these kinds of girls because I always knew that the men thought they were trashy. As one of my guy friends told me “they are only good for sex”. But here men don’t seem to see any difference between dating these kinds.
My ex dated one of the girls he was cheating on me with for 6 months after I found out and dumped him. She actually called me for sympathy when she found out that he had cheated on her. She knew about me and slept with him anyways but actually expected me to be sympathetic to him doing the same to her?? I will be nice enough to not repeat the very unclassy things I had to say to her.
Point is that the attitude about it is completely different.

11

I cheated on my wife last night and LAUGHED to myself in bed. All this time, she really thought I’d switched the DVD player off AND pulled the plug from the wall. But I HADN’T!
God, she’s SUCH a sucker!

12

Your wife is one of those too? My old roommate was like that. I must unplug all appliances at night to save on electricity but she can run the AC in the winter to dry out the air or run the AC in the summer with the windows open.

13

Taiwan is such a small island. Is it possible to cheat without somebody finding out?

14

Well the love hotel down stairs from my place advertises how discrete it is. In XinYi. Next to 101. Sooooooo. You can say “I’m going to 101” and then pop down to the love hotel next to my house and get a romp on. Hell. If you are good you can even take your woman to 101. Give her money to shop. Pop down to the love hotel. And go back while she is still shopping.

15

And if you are caught, you can always say your female friend had diarrhea and that’s why you had to book a room all of a sudden because she needed a clean bathroom and you were helping her because you are her friend. At least that’s the excuse one politician made recently.

16

“to Cheat”

  1. To deceive by trickery; swindle: cheated customers by overcharging them for purchases.
  2. To deprive by trickery; defraud: cheated them of their land.
  3. To mislead; fool: illusions that cheat the eye.
  4. To elude; escape: cheat death.
    5.To act dishonestly; practice fraud.
    6.To violate rules deliberately, as in a game: was accused of cheating at cards.
    7.(Informal)To be sexually unfaithful: cheat on a spouse.

Why do we use such a word as “cheat” to describe our nature, our passions? Because of the disturbance precipitated by our sexuality or because Jehovah or whatever fucking Volcano God, is going to strike us down for the “immorality” of our actions? GAN.

What a reality-tunnel to be trapped in: Infidelity = Cheating. (If one wishes to generalize Asian societies as “Shame-Driven”, there is no doubt that Western societies are “Guilt-Driven”.)

“When love becomes labored we welcome an act of infidelity towards ourselves to free us from fidelity” ~Francois de la Rochefoucauld

17

psalmanazar: missing the point here.

god did not make the commitment part of your marriage, you did. or if you did not, and there is no commitment made or implied, then you’re not cheating.

responsibility for your own actions lies with you. you can’t shift the responsibility onto some other layer of existence (genes) or nonexistence (God)

infidelity in the presence of an existing commitment to be faithful IS cheating. that’s the whole fucking point. (ha, pun intended)
and if you have an ‘arrangement’ with your spouse that sleeping around is OK, then it’s not cheating. but if you don’t, then obeying your animal urge to fuck around (which is present in all of us to some degree) means that you are little better than an animal, and shows the rest of us that you don’t have control of your urges, in that manner that sets us apart from animals. yes, biologically we are all animals, but the human condition is set apart from animals by the remarkable concepts of consciousness, self-awareness, and reason. this is what allows us to scrutinise our own actions, to direct our desires, and to control our feelings, including the long term ramifications of contracts made in the past.

so, if you wish to listen to the raw animal within, rather than be faithful as promised, you are only doing what is natural to animals of all persuasion. but us humans call it cheating. and even though it matters more to some people than to others, its still cheating. whether you feel guilt or shame about it depends on you and your mores and ethics. but its still cheating.

18

The entire “Animal urge” is just a copout. If we were to all act like animals then murder would be okay as well. Also it would not be deemed rude to steal someone’s food when you are hungry. Why is it that people don’t use “biology” as an excuse for most crimes but use it as an excuse to not control themselves sexually?

19

They likely rationalize that “cheating” does no harm, whereas stealing somebody’s lunch would cause harm.

20

[quote=“urodacus”]psalmanazar: missing the point here.

god did not make the commitment part of your marriage, you did. or if you did not, and there is no commitment made or implied, then you’re not cheating.

responsibility for your own actions lies with you. you can’t shift the responsibility onto some other layer of existence (genes) or nonexistence (God)

infidelity in the presence of an existing commitment to be faithful IS cheating. that’s the whole fucking point. (ha, pun intended)
and if you have an ‘arrangement’ with your spouse that sleeping around is OK, then it’s not cheating. but if you don’t, then obeying your animal urge to fuck around (which is present in all of us to some degree) means that you are little better than an animal, and shows the rest of us that you don’t have control of your urges, in that manner that sets us apart from animals. yes, biologically we are all animals, but the human condition is set apart from animals by the remarkable concepts of consciousness, self-awareness, and reason. this is what allows us to scrutinise our own actions, to direct our desires, and to control our feelings, including the long term ramifications of contracts made in the past.

so, if you wish to listen to the raw animal within, rather than be faithful as promised, you are only doing what is natural to animals of all persuasion. but us humans call it cheating. and even though it matters more to some people than to others, its still cheating. whether you feel guilt or shame about it depends on you and your mores and ethics. but its still cheating.[/quote]

Very well said, urodacus.